For the first time, my kids have something they want to do this weekend that prevents them from coming to my place. I knew it would eventually happen, but I’m still sad 
Not sure why I’m mundanely sharing this.
It made me sad to read this, and I don’t even have any kids.
It’s sad because it emphasizes that they have a life that you don’t share in all of. (Is that a real sentence?) I mean that would happen in any case as they get older… they will meet people you never meet, have experiences you won’t know about (for good or ill), go places you won’t ever go.
But (I assume) you’ve felt that you held a special place in their roster of favorite activities, and it brings you up short to be hit by the reality that sometimes they’ll choose to do something else.
It’s a GOOD thing really, that they trust you enough to be able to go do something else without worrying overmuch that you’ll be bothered. I always felt like I had to take care of my mother (and she wasn’t a single parent or anything-- my father was on the premises). I sometimes turned down things I wanted to do because I felt bad about her being lonely, even though she would never have said anything. That was not a good situation. I should have been given wings, not an anchor.
So, even while being sad, rejoice that your kids feel secure enough about you that they can go off and do something without worrying about you. It really is a good thing.
I know it’s good. Doesn’t make it any less sad. Thanks for the kind words.
My baby left for college this past fall. I thought I would just die. But, lo and behold I lived through it. I can’t say I don’t miss her everyday, but I am living normally as I can. She is happy and doing well at school, so that makes me happy. You will get through this. Just know they never really leave you, they just go away at times. My older 2 kids didn’t think they needed me so much til they started their families. Sometimes I am drowning in grand kids. It really will get easier.
Yeah, I remember the first time that happened. It was sad. I took it as a reminder that it would become more and more common over time, so I overcompensated and began making elaborate plans for each weekend.
This is so me. 
I get to see my kids alternate Saturdays and Sundays but they always seem to have something on Saturday, so Sundays I’m like…
“Clothes shopping? Sure! Go ahead get the shoes, they not too expensive!”
“Play video games all day? No problem - do you want to go to FTW (For the Win) or Dave & Busters?”
“Go ahead, get the seafood tower AND a steak!”
It’s tough being the non-custodial parent. I assume they’re getting to be teenagers? That is the age where kids start greatly asserting their independence and think their parents don’t know anything. Just be there for them, listen and give them your opinion but don’t make them abide by it. If you have problems with the ex don’t badmouth them, the kids will figure that out themselves.
yeah, 13 and 14. Not to worry, I know all the good things to do 
Thanks for all the kind thoughts.
Yep, that was one of my strict rules. I never said a bad thing about the ex (although she deserved it) and never allowed my kids to say bad things about her. They actually were angry with me at one time for “not standing up for myself”. I always just told them that I loved them and didn’t want to waste any of our time with negativity.
When they hit the teen years, I’d think up things we could do involving their friends. Outings went from just the three of us to groups of five or six. Added expense, but worth every cent. For some things I’d require parental permission slips just to make sure other parents really knew what was going on.
Yes, this is also my rule.