Okay, so my mom’s going out of town, and she says it’s okay for me to stay at home by myself. 
I’m thinking, “hey, kewl.” Then my dad says his opinion, and now I’m gonna be stuck in a house sans computer for a week. :mad: Maybe if I can con him into letting me spend some of my days over here, I’ll be able to post, but I’ve been making up for the future lack of posts today. This just pisses me off. My mom trusts me to stay home alone for a week, but my dad is acting like I can’t take care of myself. I mean, let’s see: there’s enough food, etc. to last me the whole time, if I have a problem I can call a neighbor or him, it’s a lot easier for me to stay at this house on days that I work, I don’t really plan on throwing some big keger while she’s away, so what’s the big deal? 
I mean, it’s not like I’m 5 years old anymore. I’m 17, godammnit, and I can take care of myself for a week with no problems. God forbid I be the youngest child and the only daughter! :eek: I swear, if I was a male child, this situation would be completely different. This is bullshit. Why is it that even if the parent you live with is okay with it, that the other parent can have a piss fit because they don’t think you can take care of it on your own? 
:mad:
Congatulations! You have just discovered the great paradox of adolescenct freedom versus parental over-protection. Note that this phenomenon is gender specific.
If you were a 17 year old male, there would have been no problem - you would have been trusted to fend for yourself for a week, and given the usual advice about looking after the house, the stereo etc. But because you are a girl, Daddy just can’t bring himself to allow his little girl a little space and responsibility.
It’s all part of the hypocrisy that sees boys being sent out to sow their wild oats and get some life experiences before they settle down, whereas girls must remain prim and proper homebodies, complete with intact virginity until marriage.
Remember in high school those sex education classes where you learn about sexually transmitted diseases, contraception, morality etc. I distinctly remember a wise old teacher being asked a question one day about what the biggest issue was in relation to all of the above. His answer was quite simple:
“In forty years of dealing with teenage kids and their parents, the most important thing I have learnt of that BOYS DON’T GET PREGNANT!”
Put that statement to your Dad and see what his reaction is.
First mistake. Anyone who uses the word “kewl” cannot be trusted alone in a house.
Mistake two. People who use the word “kewl” need all the friends they can get. Drunk friends are better as they can easily overlook your using the word “kewl.”
True. You’d get punched for using the word “kewl.” I’ve found that most young men will overlook the usage of “kewl” by a girl they are boinking.
See first mistake.
Cool?
Hmm, so you judge me because of one word. That certainly closes the frame of speculation a bit. You assume I’m a dork/moron/whatever because of that one word. I said I wasn’t really planning on having a keger, as in I didn’t plan out the whole week I would’ve been left alone because I knew if I did, it might completely backfire on me. Look what happened. [oh well] I am responsible enough to take care of myself. I’ve done it before for about a month and a half in another country. True, I am a young 'un compared to you and a great deal of people whom I interact with on this board, but you mistake me for being a dumb young 'un because of my age and my terminology. So I occasionally [read: almost never] use the term “kewl.” How bad of a person does that make me in your eyes? I’d really love to hear you tell me I’m stupid again because I used a word you didn’t like.
don’t sweat it so much ssskugggiii.
The old-timers like to tease the young’uns a bit.
He was just joking around with ya. If you need a babysitter, i’m free for the week. I only charge a kegger a week, I work cheap.
I’m an old-timer, and I used the word “kewl” once.
ChiefScott punched me. And I’m grateful.
Heh, I’m not really sweating it, it’s just I’m just a teeny bit aggrivated at my lessening of freedom with this. So, what kind of babysitter are you? [j/k, I havent’ had one of those in at least 8 years.]
Uke, who says I have to be grateful for being insulted because I used the word “kewl”? Whatever, I’ll drop it.
Says the skugster
No.
I mistake you for a young 'un without a sense of humor!
punchin’ Ike again
What’d I tell you the last time you posted that word.
Your father is not acting like you cannot take care of yourself. Your father is a guy. Your father was seventeen once upon a time. Your father remembers. Your father remembers what his seventeen year old buddies were like. He remembers what they liked to do. “Not with my daughter, you don’t,” is your father’s cry. Your father loves you. Your father wants to protect you. Your father makes himself ill with worry over your well being. Your father would never forgive himself if something happened to you while you were there alone. Your father will blame himself if something did happen. You will always be your father’s baby girl.
Thank your father for his concern. Show your father you love him and that you know he is interested in your well being. Show your father that you are a mature young lady. Remind him that he will someday have to allow you your freedom and that you will be better prepared by having your freedom granted in small slices.
Do not tell your father that “every one else is doing it.”
Do not tell your father that he is just old fashioned.
Do not accuse your father of not trusting you.
LouisB sounds like he’s got a few young 'uns of his own!
It’s the opposite with me. I’m a college freshman now. My dad would trust me to stay by myself for a week, but my mom doesn’t even want me to spend a single night by myself. I guess my dad figures I won’t do anything stupid (he can monitor the MasterCard online 
), and I think my mom is just having separation anxiety or something.
My situation is closer to that of Altair. I am being forced to go to a university in Chicago (about a 3 hour’s drive from where we are) rather than Columbia in NYC. Why? “I’ll be all alone in the house if Anjali goes that far away to college… this way she can come home on the weekends.” Thanks, mom.
If I ever used the word “kewl,” Chief Scott would punch me, and I would then say “Please, sir, may I have another?” and actually mean it.
We’re just giving you a hard time. 
Listen, nine out of ten former seventeen year old girls will relate to your problem; I know I do. And it is gender specific – my dad gave my brother the loan of the car and a credit card for a hotel room when he wanted to go to a concert at the age of seventeen. He (my father) would have cut his hand off before allowing my sister or me to do that.
Make it clear to your dad that you’re irritated and that you think he’s showing he doesn’t trust you – which, let’s face it, he is. Then let it go, and you will through your mature handling of the situation underline the fact that you are old enough and responsible enough to be left on your own. Throw a tantrum and you’ll just underline the fact that you aren’t capable of handling things maturely.
For better and for worse, you won’t be seventeen forever. Put the best face on it, deal, and get over it.
No,No,No, do not tell your father you are irritated with him. Do not tell your father that he doesn’t trust you.
Listen to me. Tell him you know he is only concerned with your well being. Thank him for his concern. Tell him you are sort of disappointed that he thinks you are too immature to spend a week alone but that you hope he will soon recognize that you are a young lady and not a little brat. Smile when you tell him that. Do not pout. Do not sulk. Do not have a temper tantrum.
Your father is a guy. Make him mad and he will not back down. Make him a little defensive and he might. Maybe not this time, but probably the next. Are your grandparents close enough to talk to? You cannot have a better champion than grandparents, IF your parents get along with them.
And when you finally are allowed to stay at home alone–listen to me now—do not do anything that allows your father (or your mother) to say “See, I told you she is too young.” Demonstrate your maturity—once a precedent is established, you are well on your way to total freedom and wild abandon.
Well, for whatever it’s worth, I am one of those “old geezers”. I have twin daughters that are 18 years old. I have no problem with them staying by themselves for a few days. But I can see where your dad is coming from. You are his “little girl” and he doesn’t want anything to happen to you.
All that said, I have 2 more things to say. 1) “kewl” and 2) =running like mad so I don’t get hit upside the “newbie” head by Chief Scott=
LOUIS, this:
is just an impeccably smooth way of doing this:
. . . so I don’t think we’re disagreeing.
If you want them to treat you as an adult, you have to pretend to be one (this technique kicks ass, trust me, I used it lots and lots while I was a teenager.) Don’t whine, or moan, or pitch a fit or go into that extremely overused “but I’m seventeeeeeen!” routine, because that makes them think “she’s only a seventeen-year-old kid” rather than “she’s a perfectly capable young woman.”
Just tell your dad, “Thanks for the offer, Dad, but it’s probably just going to be easier for me to stay here. I’ll call you midweek and come by over the weekend, though…say Sunday?”
This is a crucial point. Notice that there are no yes/no questions above. You’re gently turning down an offer, rather than refusing to do what you’re told. :::shiver of power::: You’re in control, baby. The offer to come by on Sunday is reassurance to him, but it’s what’s called ‘force close’. He has no out here, he’s not going to tell you not to come over. If anything, he’ll ask you what time.
Give it a shot, lemme know how it works out.
A parent, but still young enough to remember what parents are like,
Chris
While I will agree that this is mostly a gender-specific problem, there are a few exceptions. A (male) friend of mine is now a sophomore in college. He is very responsible, and the oldest of the family. yet his parents wait up for him to get home whenever he’s back from school, and he has to check in all the time. And he just lives with it. I don’t understand this at all (course, this is from me, the former wild child and all). Gahh!
Oh yeah, I guess I ought to add this:
and a pre-emptive OUCH!
If your parents are paying even half of your colledge expenses quit complaining.
If you don’t want your parents telling you what to do pay your own bills!
BTW I’m not an old fart. I just have to pay my own way in this world.
I have to disagee on if this is gender-specific. We don’t know the parents well enough. I had a case like Altair’s. I DID go away to college, and when I came back at Christmas break I pointed out the illogic of a curfew. “You have to trust me at college, why don’t you trust me here?” My mom nearly went apoplectic, but my dad conceded the point, reluctantly, with the implied “I’m trusting you, DO NOT screw up”. Different parents can have differing limits, and they do not have to be sex-linked.