Out of the house

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was recently kicked out of my house. Right now I’m staying at a friends place. Things weren’t going so well with my parents, so it was probably for the better.

I lost my car (THAT I PAID FOR!). I have an occasional ride to work, so I’ll probably have to quit and find a job I can walk to. I let them have the car to keep from burning every bridge I have with my parents.

I went back today to pick up some of my crap. I thought my mom wouldn’t be there, but she was. It just wasn’t pleasent (they stole my last paycheck, bastards).

I have less than a month until college and I’m working on getting my financial aid in order.

I just am confused. So much going on, so much changing…

Its just busy.

I just wish things hadn’t turned out the way they did.

Not sure why I’m typing, just had to get some of the stress out and typing helped.

Anyone else been in this situation? Any advice?

2

I’m sorry.

Thats something I could never do to my child. It makes me angry when someone does it to another. No real advise… just think from here things HAVE got to get better.

Offers up a big cyber hug.

{{{{ HUG}}}}

3

Thats really harsh! Your parents suck.

No matter how much I argue with my parents they would NEVER kick me out!

Good luck.

4

You paid for the car it’s yours, buddy. Fight for that. Go to whom you bought it from and get a bill of sale if you don’t have one. Then slap them around with the sherrif.

They want to play hardball? Two can play.

5

WTF?

Why? What is their problem?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{clayton}}}}}}}}}}}}}

6

First of all, I think it was probably a good idea leaving the car for now. It shows good faith and like you said, it will keep from burning all the bridges. Other then that, advice on this type of thing is hard because sometimes parents are just weird (for lack of a nastier term) and they do these kinda things to prove some sorta point. Pretty much everyone my age that I know is going to college and still lives with their parents. Some have been threatened with the kick out but I haven’t actually seen it happen. My advice would be to wait it out as best you can untill you find out wtf their problem is. Then if that doesn’t work, go get your car back and say screw you.

7

Ouch. That´s really tough. I´m so sorry for you, clayton!

Don´t know if this helps, but I do have a word or two of advice for you. I wasn´t kicked out, I moved out of my own accord - first to my dad´s (at age 16), later to my own place.
My mother refused to assist me financially in any way (even though she had way more money than my dad), and she´d more or less forced me to hand over the money from my first summer job while I was still living with her and loads of similar things.
She decided if I had my own place, I should be really independent (even though legally she should have paid for my studies). I told her it wasn´t fair my dad was paying for everything when she had so much more money, and then things started getting really ugly. I considered taking legal action but today I´m very glad I didn´t.

Instead, I cut the ties and didn´t have any contact with her for six years. The money really wasn´t the main issue, we just never got along well and she always gave me the feeling money was more important to her than I was.

So. This year I finally made the first step and wrote her, and while the main issues (emotional, not financial) are far from solved, we´re at least on speaking terms again. And though she really hurt me, it is an incredible relief to be able to communicate with her again.

So, why am I rambling on about my personal history? Because I want to tell you that whatever you do, don´t burn all the bridges. I´d strongly advise you not to take legal action unless you are positively sure you don´t ever want anything to do with them again. You might regret it later.

Only you know what the problems are, so only you know whether they can be solved. It´s easy to say “wait and see”, but I doubt this can be solved right now. You may all need some time, but don´t wait too long. It´s very hard to make the first step if you´re only half as stubborn as I am (my mother tried it often, but I refused to accept it), and it doesn´t get easier if you let too many years go by.
Cross the bridge and move on, but don´t burn it down. Sheesh, this sounds very grandmotherly, but they´re still your parents. You might want to have them back sometime.

Best of luck to you, I hope you get over the hard times ahead!

8

wait a minute. they “stole” your last paycheck? how’d they manage that? last i heard, signing someone else’s name to a check is considered forgery. cashing a check made out to someone else, if it hasn’t been signed over to you, is theft.

9

wait a minute. they “stole” your last paycheck? how’d they manage that? last i heard, signing someone else’s name to a check is considered forgery. cashing a check made out to someone else, if it hasn’t been signed over to you, is theft.

regardless of who made the payments, whose name is on the car’s registration? if it’s yours, are your parents not smart enough to realize there can be legal repercussions to keeping property that is not legally theirs?

are you seriously saying your parents are commiting crimes?

10

arggg. hamsters strikes should be illegal, too.

11

clayton_e, I’ve really enjoyed your presence on the SDMB, and I suspect that many here have a warm place in their hearts for you. You seem like a fascinating person, sensitive but strong. I think that you are going to do very well in college – it’s a world where your intelligence and vision will be appreciated. I’m sorry that you’re going through this BS with your parents. Hang in there. I truly think that you’re going to have a great life.

P.S. What did you finally choose for your yearbook quotes?

12

You mentioned awhile back that you were considering doing another bench-sitting marathon. If you did it now, and someone sort of dropped a call to the media, you could say that you were making a statement on behalf of young people, like yourself, who are homeless. Be sure to mention that you know how dangerous it is for young people to have to sleep on the streets since you got beat up last time you did the bench sitting.

13

Hello Clayton,

I found myself in pretty much the same situation when I was 17. I’m not exactly sure what the circumstances are for your situation are, but I fully deserved to be kicked out. I was stealling from my family and pawning their things to support my drug habit. I’m not proud of it, but that’s what happened.

I was homeless for about 2 months until I sat down and actually talked to my folks rather than fighting with them. I would go from one friend’s house to another friend’s house. I had no job, no money, no food, and was quickly running out of places to crash.

It was quite an eye opening experience. I hope things work out as well for you as they did for me. My parents are now my best friends and I respect them for doing what they did, because it wasn’t easy for them either.

I genuinely hope that you can work through this.

14

Wow. I really don’t know what to say, clayton. The only story I have that’s similar to your’s is my about my cousin Jason. He’s my age (24, so not too much older than you). During the latter part of high school, he fell in with some drug addicts and started living a crazy life. My aunt and uncle kicked him out about a couple years later, let him back in, and then kicked him back out. He soon shaped up, got a good job, got married, and has two children now. However, just knowing you from your posts, I know that that’s not what’s going with you.

As far as advice, I don’t know if it would be worth it for you to keep a bridge with your parents. If it’s gotten to the level that they’ve taken your paycheck and are making any and all contact with them unpleasant, I would seriously consider severing contact for now. In some time, you can try a recouncilation with them, but it might be best for you and them to break all contact.

Your paycheck is kinda mystifying me, too. If they cashed it or deposited it, your signature had to be on it. That means they either stole it from your room (assuming you had signed it earlier) or they forged your signature. Either one’s a big no-no. If they’re just holding the check itself hostage, that may be easier to deal with. Either way, you might need to talk to your boss about this. If your signature was forged, see if he/she can get a copy of the check from the bank. If it’s just being held hostage, ask if that check could be cancelled and if a new one could be cut for you.

All I have left to offer is talk to and vent to your friends. This has got to be hard on you, and I know that in stressful situations I feel better having my friends close by to talk to. I get depressed, angry, despondent, upset, and worse when I just hold things in. I don’t know if you’re the same way, but having some friendly support is always good.

Take care, and I hope that things work out.