It’s Saturday and a counselor from my son’s elementary school called earlier today to tell me the teacher assistant from his classroom died last night.
They did not have any information as to the nature of her death yet and said more information would be sent home Monday, and that they would have counselors there.
This is completely unexpected! I saw her yesterday! She is a sweet, loving, kind woman. I don’t know if she was in a car accident or had a heart attack, or what. She is probably older than 55, but I don’t know for sure.
What is really scary is that she had the class alone yesterday because the teacher had to attend a workshop all day. If she did die of a health problem and not an accident, whatever process was no doubt already taking shape. What if she had collapsed alone with the children?
I have not told my son yet, because we are having a babysitter tonight and I don’t want to leave him after telling him something so upsetting.
Anybody have to tell their child something like this? He is six. Any suggestions?
I feel so sad. And sad for the teacher who has lost the friend she worked with everyday and did not see her on her very last day.
Is this the first death of someone he has been close to? That might affect how the child is told. Are you religious? Could you say shedied, and is now in heaven? In any event, I would second waiting until you hear the details of the death.
My 4th grade teacher died during Christmas break. We came back and the principal introduced a new teacher and told us Ms. Caple would not be back. At recess the other 4th grade teacher told us Ms. Caple had died. We had no counselers or anything, we had to live with it. It hit a lot of the kids pretty hard, Ms. Caple was well liked. Things have changed a lot in the last 40 years.
The poor kids One of my coworkers, who was well liked by everyone, died unexpectedly on the third. If our reaction, despite being able to understand that heart attacks are no one’s fault, is any indication, I expect that th kids in your son’s class will be hit much harder by it since they don’t understand death nearly as well as adults do. The only advice I can think of is to tell him that it’s not babyish to cry about death, and that his teacher undoubtedly will too. Knowing that adults feel the same way about bad things makes the feelings a little less frightening (as long as the adults aren’t hysterical with grief, that is).
Thanks guys. We just told him a little bit ago. He took it pretty well I think, but I’m not sure he understood completely. This is the first person he’s known who died.
He looked really sad and thoughtful but did not cry. Then he said, “Because she’s old,” as if he’d figured it out. Then he asked to play badminton.
