Not in the Pit because it’s just not angry enough.
I moved in over a year ago to an apartment atop my landlord’s garage. He and his family lived in the house in front, and we got along quite well. A few months ago, he bought another house and moved out, and a group of 20-somethings moved into the house. When he moved out, he mentioned that he’d like there to be parking in the back yard, to minimize impact on the neighborhood. I was fine with that, but as time went by, I started to wonder how it was he expect this to happen. The paved area of the backyard is wide enough that you could get two cars in abreast, but since there’s a narrow driveway leading to the backyard, there’s no way that two cars with a normal turning radius could actually get in the back yard. On top of that, he kept things in the garage, and one could never tell when he would want things, so the few times I did park in the driveway or backyard, he was annoyed because he couldn’t get into the garage. I rolled my eyes and went back to parking on the street, but it seemed like every time I talked to him about anything, he expressed the desire to have people park in the back yard.
On part of the pavement there was a little covered gazebo and some patio furniture, but a few weeks after he moved, he came and took the patio furniture. Later, he said that we should move the gazebo over onto the lawn to make more space to park in the back yard. I pointed out that no one parked in the back yard anyway, but this, as always, fell on deaf ears. And then my cousin told me that he couldn’t keep his boat any more (my aunt and uncle were moving), and asked if I wanted it. This is a small sailboat that’s been in our family for about 35 years. My Dad bought it when he was my age and I learned to sail on it. It’s a fun boat and has some good family history, so I wanted to have it. And what better place to have a sailboat than in Santa Barbara. I called my landlord to see if I could keep it in the backyard.
Landlord: “I want the backyard to have spaces for parking cars.”
Me: “But, nobody parks there anyway. And, besides, if you’re going to move the gazebo, it can go over on the edge of the pavement where you couldn’t park a car anyway.”
I explained where it would go, and he said ok. I also asked my neighbors in the front, and they said that they were fine with it. So after getting a car that could pull it, I brought the boat down and put it in the back yard. It needed some work. Luckily, I had some friends who were willing to help in exchange for promises of going sailing on it later, and we set to work stripping and sanding and painting it. Also around this time, I found a foosball table that nobody wanted and brought it home. My front neighbors were overjoyed. And then I got a call from my landlord.
Landlord: “So, I thought you were going to be storing a boat in the backyard, not restoring it.”
Me: “Yeah, it needed some paint. It’s only temporary, though. It should be done in a few weeks and then it’ll look nicer and be out of the way” (not that it was really in the way of anything as it was.)
Landlord: “Well, the backyard looks terrible. [Landlord’s wife] is just sick about it. The grass and palm trees are dying, the gazebo’s on the lawn, and someone left a foosball table back there.”
(First of all, the grass and the palm trees are his problem, and moving the gazebo was his idea)
Me: “Well, you suggested moving the gazebo to the lawn so there’d be space to park. And I brought the foosball table there. The folks up front like it.”.
Landlord: I don’t like it. It makes the backyard look like IV" (Isla Vista. Where all the UCSB students live)
A week later, when I’m working on my boat, he comes over and tells me I can’t keep it in the backyard, because he wants to set the backyard back up so that everyone can use it. He brings back the patio furniture, but only sets out two chairs, and puts the rest in the garage. He tells my front neighbors that he’ll bring the patio furniture back when the boat’s gone. Not that the patio furniture couldn’t be in the backyard at the same time, but now there’s something he can withhold to get the boat gone.
I try a couple more options, including finding that the boat could go on the other side of the garage, offering to keep up the yard and water the plants, and offering to pay extra. No deal. I move the boat. I move the foosball table. This was several weeks ago. Last Wednesday, I call and leave a message to ask if he could bring the furniture out in time for Sunday, when I’m having a barbecue. No answer. I call again on Friday and leave another message. No answer.
I get up on Saturday morning and notice that the two chairs that were there are now gone. I call him up again, and he says that [Landlord’s wife] decided that they were too nice to just leave out there. They’re not “renter quality.”
So, to recap, he wants us to park in the backyard, but not in the driveway, and not in front of the garage, and not where the gazebo is. He wants the backyard to look nice, but he doesn’t want to actually do any work for it or make a deal to have me keep it up. The foosball table is tacky, but his furniture is too nice to let renters use. RRRRrrrrggh.
And, for those who were interested from before, here are some Pelican pics.