What the fuck is your problem?

The BBQ Pit
1

Ok, so my dad has a parking lot next to his house. He doesn’t own the parking lot, but he had permission from the owner to use it for the past two decades or so.

Couple years ago, the parking lot is bought by some new man. This man is very protective of his vacant lot. Apparently he’s been trying to resell it ever since he bought it, with no success. He’s had a big “FOR SALE” sign posted for the past 2 or 3 years.

My father has tried to buy or lease the lot, but this man wants $800 A MONTH TO LEASE (not a penny less), 100,000 to buy. Which is a completely insane price for it.

He won’t let us park on it at all, and threatens to tow away any vehicle that parks on his precious lot. I doubt he wants it car free to make his little lot of land look prettier and easier to sell, because he let’s the damned grass and thorns grow on the lower non gravel side of the property (which slopes down on a hill) and that makes it look more unsellable than anything.

Ok, so I knew this guy was ornery, but I never saw him face to face. I decided to be daring and temporarily park my car (1973 Roadrunner) in order to wax it, since the plug in waxer thingy was in the house.

So as I’m waxing the car in the early morning this angry guy with a big handlebar mustache shows up, and he’s just fucking FURIOUS.

“Get the FUCK off of here. This is PRIVATE PROPERTY. I’m getting this thing towed RIGHT NOW! Your old man owns that place right over there, doesn’t he? GET HIM OUT HERE!!”

He went on with his tirage of obscenities, threatening to tow my car, then he proceeded to take a trash can that was actually on our property line (it was right on the outside of the fence) and he THREW it into the yard.

It would have been a simple matter for me to drive my car to the side of the block and park it near the sidwalk, but the man had be boxed in with his big van parked by the exit.

So I rush inside the house to get my father who comes out and confronts him. Handlebar mustache guy is throwing a hissy fit about the car being parked there, threatening to tow it, blah blah.

Now here’s a really strange twist. During the confrontation, dad repeatedly asks for his name. He refuses to give it (“no I won’t give you my fucking name!”) and keeps on spouting off about us being “fucking freeloaders” and us being total worthless trash.

My dad helped me get the road runner out of there and parked to where it originally was only a few blocks away, as maneuvering out of the lot with the big van in the way was no easy task.
While he was doing that, I gave handlebar mustache guy a big shit eating grin and said “well, the car’s gone now, enjoy your empty lot” as he glared at me, as I walked back into the house with a look of satisfaction, his nefarious plot to get my car towed away thwarted.

Seriously, what the fuck is this guy’s problem? Sure, it’s his lot, but he needs to chill the fuck out and take some Anger Management classes or something.

2

Um, the fact that it’s his property and you shouldn’t be washing your car on it?

3

I seriously wonder whether that’s just some deranged homeless man who thinks he owns it, or some intimidating thug hired by the real owner to do the dirty work.

I’m going to get the City on his ass for letting those thorns grow out on to the sidewalk. And let’s see whether he’s actually paying property taxes. :smiley:

4

It’d be one thing if it were the guy’s front yard, but an empty lot gone to weeds? He could’ve at least been polite about it; the incident certainly didn’t warrant the type of vitriol he was spewing.

5

Sounds like more than that to me. Sounds like a serious rage issue. Or a really bad case of the Mondays.

6

See? It’s things like this that make me regret throwing away that fifty pounds of dog shit that I had accumulated into a plastic contractor’s bag. I could have FedExed said bag to good use. I think artisticly it would require a small flag on top of the mound that simply said “asshole”.

Well, my dog’s still poopin in my yard, and I’m still cleanin. I figure the bag I’m workin on now will be pretty ful by late August or early September. Drop me a line then if you’re interested.

7

Some people get pretty possesive of a sticker-infested lot I guess! Wonder what his yard looks like…

<hijack>
NurseCarmen The bottom had rotted out of the dumpster behind my dad’s house and the city sent the dumpster truck and a crew out to replace it. The guy across the alley had about 7 large dogs, and 7 large dogs worth of dog shit to get rid of. He had bagged it up into an empty 50lb dog food sack and put it in the rotted out dumpster.

When they moved the dumpster, there was this large, now wet and soggy, bag of dog shit on the ground. Dad said he could hear the guys tryuing to pick the sack (which had busted) up…“What is that?? DOG SHIT!!! DOG SHIT!!” He was going out into the alley to shoot the breeze, but thought better after hearing the dog shit exchange. Shitty job, I reckon…

</hijack>

8

I seriously want to know who IS this guy and why he bought this shabby lot. I also want to know what kind of a fucked up life somebody could have to have these kind of rage issues.

9

I don’t know about Oregon, but in Texas you can call the tax office and they will tell you who owns a piece of property.

10

Ummm, why in the wide, wide world of fuck are you saving dogshit? That is really terribly disgusting. And unsanitary. Really, man. Get a new hobby.

11

Whereabouts in Oregon are you? I work in title and escrow in Salem, and I’d be happy to find out the legal owner for you. Feel free to take it off-board if you prefer; my email address is in my profile.

–
Justin

12

I really need to do that.

This is going to bother me until I can figure out who this guy is and why on earth he bought the lot in question, and why he is trying (rather unsuccessfully) to charge so much for it.

I have serious doubts the lot is actually worth anywhere near 100 grand. It only holds maybe four cars, maybe six if you push things.

He’s going to REALLY be in a rage come next month. Our town has a little festivel that goes on in July and the parking situation is so bad that people go on to that particular lot for refuge. I’d really like to see the look on that fucks face when that happens.

13

NurseCarmen, are you my former neighbor? He used to save dog shit, too. At least he did until the property manager called the health department.

14

Thank you, I have taken you up on your offer.

15

Maybe the parking lot is now owned by the Mob, and they don’t really want it to be sold–and really don’t want people poking around where they reburied Jimmy Hoffa.

16

It’s his property, you were trespassing. Sure he was an asshole, but I don’t think that’s against the law. Especially when someone is using his property without his permission. He may not have been the owner, true, and I think you’re on the right course finding out who is the real owner, but I’m guessing it will be him. Some people are just unreasonable, or insane. Either way, I’d stay off the lot.

17

You live on the Left Coast. Get used to it.

Just wondering why you didn’t have the sac to stand up to him. Up here in North Dakota we settle stuff based on the code of MEN

18

Is there a “No Trespassing” sign on the property? Is there a fence around it? If not, who is to say it is not a public accomodation.

19

Right on. You think he has rage issues because he pissed off? He has rage issues because he keeps telling everyone to stay off the fucking lot and you go in there and start waxing your car. You even said you would try to be daring. That right there knows that you would be pushing his buttons. He may have rage issues, but you have respect issues. Stay off his fucking lot or pay the $800 a month rental.

20

He has rage issues because nobody wants to buy his land. At least not for the price he is asking for it. Mostly it’s on a slope, so it’s not much good for building anything on it, all it’s good for is parking a handfull of cars on the gravel portion.

I’m sure my snide comment “enjoy your vacant lot” only further fueled his anger.