we’ve been having some problems with stupid punk-ass kids stealing mail and dumpster diving for credit card statements and applications and other crap, so i figure it was finally time to bite the bullet and get a personal shredder…
okay, so we got one at work, and it’s fun to feed the shredder, that’s what really got me thinking, the dumpster-diving brats just gave me a little extra incentive…
i picked up a Fellowes P-55C confetii cut shredder, and it’s been a lot of fun, especially when i feed it credit card statements (after i pay them of course) and old credit cards, HAH!, take THAT Citibank and Bank America…
it’s oddly cathartic shredding these statements (especially when you make little "Help MEEEEE, HELLLPPP MEEEEEE! noises as the shredder gobbles up the bills, it also makes short work of the “you’re pre-approved for another stupid piece of plastic to ruin your life” forms, don’t even need to open them up, VRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!..goodbye pre-approved form
heck, i started looking for other pieces of paper to shred, just for the sake of shredding them…
then i started testing the shredder, hmmmm…empty cardboard box of snack crackers, tear it down to fit the opening, VRRRRMMMMMM!!!, it eats paperboard boxes too!
i was having so much fun with the shredder i had to go and get some shredder oilto keep it running in top shape, so i hit the local “Milton” office supply store (you know, the store named after what Milton is obsessed with, the red Swingline…), as i was figuring out the best deal for shredder maintenance crap (hmm, $12 for pre-oiled paper sheets, or $7 for a bottle of oil and i can oil my own paper…gotta go with the bottle…
then i saw it, a small "R2-D2-esque little desktop shredder, silver domed top, a “Media Destroyer”…hmm, shreds CD’s, DVD’s and floppy disks… heavy duty motor, confetii cut…only $40, ahh, why the heck not, i have a bunch of CD’s i don’t use anymore, and destroying stuff is fun…
got my new “CD-Muncher” home, gathered up a pile of CD-s i never use anymore, and started feeding the destroyer, COOL, it decimates the CD, tiny, tiny pieces of plastic, and it also delaminates CD-R’s as it gobbles them up, as the CD is chewed to bits, the foil top layer flakes off the plastic fragment, there’s NO way a CD run thru the Muncher can ever be reconstructed…
…total protonic reversal, that’s cool 
okay, i’ve rambled on enough about my new Destruct-O-Toys, what cool new techie toys have you got?..
<wanders off in search of more CD’s and papers to shred, with an evil smirk on his face…>