a parallel thread in another universe…
Hi, I have a dilemma. I live in this apartment building, (number 1602). I got this LONG, wordy but kinda cute letter from my neighbor about a noise he was hearing. I responded with as much of a OPEN INVITATION to call/visit me. He hasn’t. What’s up with that?? Do you think he is a nerd? What if he is maiking this noise thing up just to get in my pants? WHY WON’T HE CALL ME. I am not too ugly, and I don’t laugh like a hyena or a jackal. Why, I have even been told that I am pretty. What’s up with this guy??? Do I need to send him some lingerie of mine??? Sheesh. I am feeling quite rejected.
That might be a bit of a stretch. But a bottle of wine and one glass (“would you like some? let me get another glass…”) would be good. To top it off - Drumline should be queued up on the DVD player.
Yes, it would be a bold move. But then homely chicks from Iowa with braying laughs really dig bold men.
Word.
Technically, yes, he used it correctly, although I think it was a case of using a big word for a big word’s sake - there were much better ways to put it.
The window is closing fast Dude. If you don’t respond soon it’s going to be weird no matter what you do. You’ve pretty much got to call her tonight, so whatever the heck you think is so important that you have to do it until 9:00pm tonight, just tell it you’re sick and take a day off.
You need to stop on your way home and get some bread and cheese, or whatever you like for hors d’oeuvres and then call her when you get home and ask her to come see if she can hear the noise.
Don’t be silly, the only things in life we really regret are the things we should have done. And the odds of psychopathy are only 1 in 100 for females, so really, you’re way ahead of the game at the start. . .
I feel like this whole thread is a made-for-TV-movie based on a Tony Orlando song.
Candida? Because it sounds like the STD **weirdaaron **might get if he bumps uglies with 1602?
(yes, I know you meant Knock Three Times…)
**Aaron **- you’re getting a lot of good advice. A simple text back is at least better than nothing and you can offer to compare notes when you think you are hearing it again - which will give you a chance to mellow out but be ready to go up and knock on her door just to ask “are you hearing it now?”
Yes. You must meet this girl, if nothing else to simply find out. SpouseO says that life is a series of stories, and you’ve got the makings of a good one right here (even if you two don’t click). But if you don’t meet her, the story pretty much sucks. So, you must take the next step.
I think I’ll call her on the way home from work tonight and say that I’ve only been hearing the noise at 10 or later now (truth), and I didn’t want to call her that late.
The fact that the noise has (so far) been all weekend and only nights on weekdays makes me think it has to be of human origin, not utility/building noises. If it’s not something like 1602’s dishwasher, it must be another neighbor, like 1501 (miss reflectoporn).
So I’ll probably mention that.
It’s pretty inconvenient for our imaginary scenario where the girl is hot that the noise has mostly stopped.
ETA: Even if she is ugly or whatever, it’d still probably be good for me to know someone in the building. The boy/girl dynamic has just completely complicated what could be a pretty straightforward situation.
Will you share with her the info about Miss Reflectoporn? 1602 just has to find that hot, and want to come down and watch with you. Perhaps 1602 is an exhibitionist, too!
1602 should have her own reflectosituation with 1601. That unit never has the blinds closed, I can see up into that unit’s corner from my place. She might have a better show than I.
ETA: Ok, now here’s a plan… I become friends with 1601 so I can look through their window’s vantage point into 1602’s apartment and see if she’s worth the effort!
Never underestimate mad writing skillz.
After my divorce, I tried some internet dating. One woman had a description making her look like an absolute bitch…but it was obvious…OBVIOUS that she was really hamming it up and not serious. I loved it, responded and we actually dated a few times.
She was definitely not hot…but her mad writing skillz/humor so enamored me I had to see if I could be with her 
edit - she said she received a zillion replies…and I was the only one to see she was kidding. I wonder about people sometimes…
I know you’re mostly kidding, but this obsession with looks seems a bit shallow. What’s the downside of making a new friend? So what if there’s no sexual chemistry? Sooner or later that fades anyway.
Nah, it’s perfect!
Because if you do get together, and you never hear the noise again, she’ll be convinced it was all a crazy scheme of yours to arrange a pretext for talking to her, and she’ll tell all her friends about what a goofy romantic you are, and you’ll be really frustrated, because on the one hand, you want her to maintain this flattering opinion of you, but on the other, you want her to believe you that there really *was *a noise, goddamnit, and this will go on for years, with her fondly remembering how you went to all this trouble to arrange a meet-cute, and you never quite protesting, but never quite agreeing, until one day, you’re together in the apartment, and… you hear the noise again! And she hears it too! Now, you’re triumphant and finally vindicated, while *she’s *torn, because she’s happy you’re together, but her whole idea of how it happened and why, her very understanding of the foundation of the relationship has been altered.
It’s good stuff!
I know, huh? As if it would be better to conduct some other, more elaborate scheme, just to be able to look at her first, because if she’s not hot, she’s therefore worthless… or maybe the OP is very young, or very shy… I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here.
Exclamation point means joke.
Looks may fade, but logorrhea lasts a lifetime.
I did not know that.
But it will gnaw on her and gnaw on her until years later, in the OP’s middle age, she will dump him in a nasty divorce for some rock star drummer!
I change my mind…stay away! 