My little boy who loves girls

I have a 6 year old son. He’s a great guy. He is a wonderful big brother to his 2 younger siblings. He does chores regularly. He loves to play with trucks, dinosaurs, and paper airplanes.

Here is my concern. He has always preferred to play with girls. His best friends are always girls. When he lists who he wants to invite to his birthday parties, it’s 90% girls. He only wants to sit next to girls to eat lunch at school.

At this age, almost all kids I see have sexually segregated, boys mostly play with boys, and girls with girls. He is having a harder and harder time finding girls who want to play with him.

So my questions are:

Should I be concerned?

Does anyone know any boys who were like that? What happened when they got older?

Were are men on this board like this as children?

What does it mean?

He’s gay.

Or at least that how I was a kid and I turned out gay.


You may be right, and you certainly have more experience than I.

But in some ways it seems the opposite. He seems very attracted to girls. He often says how much he loves a girl’s long hair, and the way she pushes it behind her ear. Or he loves to choose girly dresses for his baby sister to wear.

Why would a gay boy not want to be around other boys, if they are who he is attracted to?

Homebrew’s funny :slight_smile:

My kid played with girls a lot (almost exclusively) and he’s het. I wouldn’t be concerned, unless he’s plotting with the girls on how to beat the crap out of the boys.

It may be that the boys play too rough for him. Is he a more reserved kind of kid?

Or…he’s gay!

He’s dressing and playing with the girls since he can’t have dolls, autz. They are who he identifies with. He’s not hanging out with the boys because at 6 he’s not developed sexual interests yet and they’re just so different and bothersome.

Or maybe I’m guilty of transference.

In any case, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. He just hangs out with other kids he likes. So what if he turns out to not be hypermasculine?

I preferred playing with girls when I was a kid (although not exclusively). I’m hetero and don’t remember ever having a period where I didn’t like girls. My extreme love of women got me into some trouble in later years…

A pal of mine agonized over coming out of the closet to his parents. His parent’s response when he finally did? “Honey, we’ve probably known that longer than you.” They are great people. Just remember autz, if you love them and support them no matter what the outcome, you’ve won. What do you win? A well adjusted adult who loves you very much. You have nothing to be concerned about.

I remember playing a lot with girls when I was a lad. I seemed to make friends with them a bit faster. I can’t say that it was to the extent you’re describing though.

And for what it’s worth, I turned out hetero. Even at the tender age of four, I found it facinating that the opening credits of Sesame Street showed a little girl running around without her shirt on. Those were always the best two seconds of my day.

Actually, now that I think about it, the girls I hung out with were mostly tomboys. Hmmmm. Makes a lot of sense.

<Girl here>

When I was little I had a few friends who were girls, but I loved playing with the boys. I was a tomboy when I was little, I still am not a “grily girl”.
I don’t think it matters who your son plays with, as long as he is having fun, let it go.

My boyfriend’s been absolutely fascinated with girls since he was very young. For him, it didn’t mean he was gay or wanted to be a girl. It just meant he really, REALLY liked girls. He can’t stand most men and I can’t stand most women. We make a great couple. Kind of reclusive, but great.

Female here. I never played with girls when I was younger. I always sat with boys at lunch. I always played with boys on the playground. I always sat by boys in class.

I’m 28 now. The majority of my close friends are male. I have a very hard time maintaining friendships with females.

If I am at any function and there is one female and one male present, odds are by the end of the day I will have struck up a conversation with the male.

I was not a tomboy at all and I’m not now.

I would let him hang with kids he’s comfortable with. If he’s fine with it, then what is the problem?

*Thank heaven for little girls
Thank heaven for them all,
No matter where no matter who
For without them, what would little boys do? *

No need to be concerned - because it would not change things anyway…

Having said that, I have to say that I always enjoyed playing with girls as a child too and I am heterosexual. I also enjoyed a lot of activities that my dad thought was girlie.

Don’t give it any more thought, what will be will be.

I’m not worried about him. He’s one of the Best kids you can imagine. Very sweet and loving. Very smart and personable. Very active and outgoing.

But I’m curious.

Despite his love for girls, he doesn’t get into doing typically girly things. He doesn’t like dolls (he’s always been allowed and offered to play with them). He doesn’t play house or dress-up.

He likes trucks and airplanes. He loves to dig in the dirt and play chase. He can’t decide whether he should be a crane operator or a boat captain when he grows up.

But he is very clear that he wants to be a daddy and have baby girls when he grows up.

I guess he’s just a funny kid.

Time will tell.

I literally resemble those remarks. Since I was always one of the smallest boys in my grade, I had no desire to risk injury “on the football field” or “in the boxing ring”. I hung around with females when (according to my male classmates) the girls all had “cooties”. However, once my relative peers became driven by their hormones, my shyness drove me to limit my socializing to a small group composed almost exclusively of like-minded males. However, I regularly got crushes on both actresses and female students, and looked at Playboy pictorials whenever possible, so I knew I was (and still am!) straight. As a matter of fact, I’m involved in a relationship with a woman who apppreciates the fact I’m “definitely a guy” even though I’m not macho by any stretch of the imagination.

Oh, and that reminds me, he not at all reserved, and he’s the tallest boy in the class.

My oldest always had girls for his best buds until this past year or so. He is 11 now. He used to play GI Joe and Barbie with the girl next door. He and his best friend (a girl) from 4th & 5th grade slowing went there seperate ways… she hangs with the girls & he hangs with the guys. It’s Ok, they still talk & play if they are the only two around. My youngest (5 1/2) is the exact opposite, he has a girl that he really likes but he doesn’t want to play with her. He is inviting her to his B-day party but he is also inviting one other girl so she has somebody to play with.

Maybe he’s precocious, autz. :wink: He’s past that whole “ew, girls” thing and is fascinated by the opposite sex?

As a little girl, I tended to gravitate towards boy friends, and I don’t think I ever went through an “ew, boys, yucky!” phase. I was semi-tomboyish - not very good at sports but more into digging in dirt, playing with blocks and cars, not really into the latest clothes, that sort of thing. That’s lasted to the present day - my husband happily described me (a year or so into our dating) as “womanly but not feminine” and meant it as a supreme compliment.

My wife is the same way, I do most of the barbequing in the family as a result.


I vote for mature/precocious heterosexual, if only because my own experience as a wee homo was wanting to hang out with all the boys, because they were all so cute!

Sounds like he’s not afraid of being different, at any rate. Sounds like a great kid!