Man, and I thought my in-laws were the only ones who did that. I mean, to the point that if his cousin’s husband spends a holiday with his own family, she’ll usually come up without him. Or if she stays with him, her parents will bring some or all of their kids. Even when his sister and cousins were in high school, their boyfriends would pile in the car and ride the 2 hours to spend all of a holiday with our family. It really freaked the lot of them right the fuck out when we started dating and I, ya know, spent Mother’s Day with my own mom.
Listen, after living in the South for 51 years, NOTHING that people do/say about their relatives seems strange to me anymore. Nothing.
So, no, their behavior doesn’t seem especially strange. No more strange than all the other folks here.
You’re joking, I trust. But even if you weren’t, I have specifically told my father I don’t want to inherit anything, as the way he’s set things up is bound to cause drama I am opting out of.
Me? Well-adjusted? No, that’s mirror-Skald.
Heh. If me and my siblings had tried to act like the OP’s family, our dad would have *ordered *us to show more respect for our spouses and our in-laws; he would have said that ignoring them would have made *him *look bad - after all, he raised us.
Of course, despite the fact that both my parents are in their 60’s, I have never once felt the need to take care of them. They’re like a pair of rocks. I know that’ll change some day, and I’m dreading it.
Depending on where they are in their sixties, there’s a big difference between that and the late 70s.
True, although my parents, being Boomers, have decided not to grow old. Theirs is a very tiresome generation.
That aside - what does your father have to say about all this? Is he just happy to see his kids, or has he ever asked why they’re always visiting him?
My parents would be horrified if I did this. I’ve noticed over the years that Skald’s family don’t have a lot of respect for others, but that may be a bit of unreliable narrator. I also notice that Natalie Portman should have a restraining order against him.
You mostly have heard about two sisters. I have five. And you only hear about them when I’m annoyed, anyway. My younger sisters and the oldest one are perfectly wonderful, so there’s never anything interesting to say about them. The closest my younger sister has come to pissing me off is coming into my house with her (given by me) key, seeing a cake of her favorite flavor on sitting on the counter, and assuming (correctly) that it was for her and thus eating of it without asking.
As for the other – nah, I can’t be bothered.
Dad & I don’t communicate very well, which is as much my fault as his. I honestly couldn’t say what he thinks about their spending all holidays with him, except that he’s never commented on it in my presence.
:eek: And your Dad let them do that? Having trouble getting my head around that… I’m imagining what would have happened if me or my brother had tried something like that back when my Dad was a widower. I’m not sure what his reaction would have been exactly but “never darken my door” springs to mind. 
Yeah, that really bugged me, and I don’t get along with Dad in any deep way. I can’t imagine that my mother expected or even wanted him to be “faithful” to her after her death. She had a fondness for black humor, and she used to make jokes about how many girlfriends he’d have if she died first.
Yes, their attitudes are strange in the context of being married. Normally married people come to some sort of compromise on seeing family on holidays, much like it appears you and your wife have as to swapping every year between her family and your family. Your sisters inflexibility with regard to seeing their spouses families speaks volumes about their relationships with their spouses.
My first thought was “Yes, it’s weird,” but my second thought was, “They’re Southern ladies, maybe that’s how it’s done in the South?” And I still wouldn’t be surprised if you told me that had something to do with it. Isn’t it in the South they say “Your son’s your son until he takes a wife, but your daughter’s your daughter all your life.” (In my culture/upbringing it is totally the opposite, btw). But it does feel odd to me, and I wonder what the other family thinks - probably never really thinks of your sisters as “true family”.
Yeah, we have something like this. I don’t get along with mine and most of them live hundreds of miles away anyway, so it’s easy to decide whose family to visit.
Maybe pre-1900, but not a consistent cultural point of view in the South in the last century.
Ah well. It’s something that’s still been told to me, if not with the nice little proverb, just in general. Daughters stay yours, essentially.