Did everybody miss this? Or why don’t you think this is likely?
Er, it can be not easy to see them, particularly during lunch hours.
Dutchman’s description declares dad “muttered ‘Why don’t you watch where your going ?’” which doesn’t sound like he was talking to the kid.
I can imagine the dad’s point of view:
So I’m taking my son to MacDonalds for lunch, and when I get there I open the door for him, since he’s five years old. As soon as I open the door, this big galoot decides to take advantage of the moment: he looks me in the eye, totally shamelessly, as he starts to walk through the door I opened for my son. My son, being five and not as observant as I expect adults to be, starts to go through the door I opened for him, bumping into the guy and almost getting knocked over. He doesn’t fall, though, and continues to go through the door. No big deal. I figured the guy would apologize, and I waited for it. Not only didn’t he apologize, he didn’t even thank me for holding the door open for him! When it was clear he was going to walk away without a word of thanks, much less apology, I muttered “Why don’t you watch where your going ?”
From the dad’s point of view, Dutchman, you were taking advantage of something he’d done for his son, and should have said, “Excuse me!” Yes, we are supposed to teach kids to watch out for where they’re going and to apologize when they bump into people: we teach them that so that when they grow up, they watch where they go and apologize for bumping into people. Did your dad not teach you that?
Daniel
Hm. I think that’s exactly what I’d say to my kid if he bumped into somebody in McDonald’s. Or at least a “watch where you’re going, please”. Maybe I’m missing something.
I suppose it’s because I’m a teacher in a country town, but I am always alert for (in ascending order of height):
puddles
dog poo
children
shopping trolleys
cars backing out
adults
This method dramatically reduces my risk of collision.
I also offer to let people through if I can conveniently hold the door open, and thank those who perform this service for me.
On trains and subways, I let people off first. Not only does this clear space in the carriage, but some express trains go a long way before stopping (so it’s ride to trap people trying to get off).
On the London Underground, especially in rush hour, not being allowed off is a real pain, since at the next station you will have to join the back of the crowd to return (whereas you are at the front of the queue for the next train if you politely wait before boarding.)
Kalypso and LHoD nailed this one. Micky D’s to a 5-year old is, well, like Mickey D’s to a 5-year old. That, combined with the fact that you may not be meet individuals of the highest SES at American fast food establishments, you should expect anything but proper social graces…
As a father of a 5-year-old, I would also be “my child-centric” and be wondering why an adult walked through the door I was holding, right into my kid…
sounds like a Larry David scenario
Thankyou and thanks to all the others who have supported me in this thread.
As I said, I was at the threshhold when he opened the door. He was three feet away from the threshold. The quickest way to relieve this traffic jam was for me to get out of the way forward and away sideways from the door.
I see. If they have the right of way, why would you expect they want you to pass through first. Could it be that they don’t want to have to squeeze by you?
Now thats common sense !
The kid was nowhere in sight through the glass door. The kid was behind the wall adjacent to the door latch in order to make the quickest possible entrance as the door swings open.
Well then you go on and live by your own rules.
There is no rule that says you must say please and thankyou in general either. It is just common sense and polite, efficient and less bother all around to let exiting traffic to get out of your way rather than force you to squeeze by them.
You were suggesting the dad was admonishing his son. His son by that time was long gone inside the store and dad was just getting through the door while I was 10 feet away.
Whether it is my fault or not, I generally automatically say sorry to the bumpee/bumper when I make bodily contact. In this case, before I could say anything the kid was long gone.
Fuck you
If you were child-centric, you would teach your kid some manners.
As there is some controversy as to who has the “right of way” let me suggest a scenario that should blow the concept that the door holder should have the “right of way”
A kindergarten teacher takes her charges on a bus trip to MacDonalds and opens the door. In the foyer is a busload of highschool kids about to get back to their bus. Its a no brainer.
Actually, in that case, presuming the restaraunt is large enough, I’d like to see the small children in first to reduce the risk of any of them wandering off or jumping into traffic.
Kinda figured as much.
Unlike stationary objects such as steps, holes, puddles, crap, etc., children can suddenly change direction and at times seem to appear out of nowhere.
Wow, you validated my theory with only two words!
Wow. You seem to havc great difficulty in understanding the social conventions of this forum. Doesn’t surprise me.
The way I see it is this – he opened the door, whether for you (a total stranger) or his own child, the world may never know. Courtesy is a two-way street – you are angry because his child – who should (IMO) rightly assume the door is being held open (by his father) for him – ran into you without apology. A 5 year old kid. Think about it for a minute. You decided that because (you have great boobs? you’re more important than the man’s own child? you’re just that awesome?) you had 1) the right to pass through the door first, 2) no need to watch where you were going (you did mention that you were looking at the man, not where you were going), and 3) the right to an apology for his kid running into you (because he somehow mistook his father holding the door open as an invitation to enter the building)? And you’re mad? Sorry, this just does not compute.
Let me explain how the whole door-opening thing works…no, that will take too long, let me sum up: doors are held open for children, the elderly and ladies. In that order. Men who hold doors open for men are being uncommonly courteous. Women who hold doors open for other women or for men are also being uncommonly courteous. To expect a door to be held for you and to be angry that the door was, in fact, being held open for someone else, well…uhm, yeh.
Look, I understand that you seemed confused, but anger is a bit uncalled for based on your own account of the situation. While I do not open doors for my son (I wait for him to get the door as a proper gentleman should), when he was 5 (an age at which little boys tend to be unpredictable) – you can bet your entitled ass I did. Even though I tend to try to be civil at the least in public, you can rest assured that had I opened the door and waited for my small child to go through it only to have (one is assuming you are) an adult run into said child, I would have had a few choice words for you regarding the art of looking where you walk.
I am hoping that your name is not indicative of your gender, because if you’re a guy who expected preferential treatment (regarding door-holding) from another man, words simply fail me.
Over a 5 year old child.
And for this:
If there is enough room for each group to fit in the restaurant, the almost adult aged children should yield to the little kids. If I ever am entering or exiting a place and there is someone with a child behind me, I hold the door open for their family while I wait to the side. The same goes for old ladies, anyone with their hands full, etc., and so forth. Children in particular though, get a go ahead. After all, they don’t have the ability to judge whether or not the grown ass man pushing them out of the way had the rightaway or not.
Please, explain the social conventions of the Pit to me… it would be an honor, as you seem to have your finger on the moral pulse of our society.
Fuck are you dense. Did you ever consider that he’s opening the door for himself?
Fuck are you dense. Read my fucking OP and subsequent post again. I never said I was upset with the kid. I was upset with the old man.
I’m not going to deal with the rest of your post because you clearly don’t have the mental capacity or the knowledge of proper conduct to make it worthwhile for you.
If I have to explain it to you you wouldn’t understand.
This makes no sense at all.
I have no real place in this fight, but Litoris wasn’t saying you were upset with the kid but that you were upset because of something that the kid did. Now you’ll probably say that you were actually upset at what the dad didn’t do, but without the kid there you never would have been upset so it is a valid reading.