My MIL's boyfriend is nice with a large dash of nutso

My mother-in-law is visiting, and she is a lovely person. Her boyfriend of a few months, who we just met, is also very nice and helpful. Except he randomly comes out with some wacky statements.

  • I never get the flu because I had a flu shot in 1962.
  • All flu these days is manufactured in labs and released to the public to make profits for the health care companies and doctors.
  • If you don’t eat apples with pork, the pork’s toxins will make you sick. (Wonder why we didn’t get sick after eating ham at Christmas?)
  • Those little Ethiopians are good workers.
  • Most cancers can be cured with a citrus diet; you just have to know which kind.

These are separate, of course, from the misstatements. Like his story about the woman whose boyfriend just returned from Iraq after his tank was hit by an IUD.

Whew. Glad to get that out. Now I can go back to being polite.

Does the MIL seem embarrassed about it? I sure would be.

Those crazy Iraqi women…

Crazy like a fox. Who knew that a tank’s Achilles’ heel would be a small missile shot from enemy lady parts?

I know I’m terrible but I keep picturing that IUD . . .

MIL seems slightly amused and tolerant. I guess there are a lot of worse things he could be than nutty.

If he hasn’t always been like this, I would wonder if he might be developing dementia and that might have impaired his “filter”. However, it could be just be harmless eccentricity.

Well…they ARE.

Is his name Larry by any chance? Does he sell LifeVantage?

And even more effective against seamen.

Dammit, I’m visualizing an IED with a payload made entirely of IUDs.

I need some work done. Where can I find some of those little Ethiopians?

Those things can be dangerous. Fortunately there’s a defense – the Dalkon Shield Shield.

Duh! Pork toxins make you sick. PORK, not ham. Where do you come up with these things?

Seattle.

My sister-in-law’s husband is kind of the same, except his thing is wild and crazy conspiracy theories. She seems to know all his theories and I think she just rolls her eyes at them. I assume that he isn’t nuts in any significant way; he seems to be a good husband and father in all the ways that count.

One of my favorite recent things that my son has said:
Mom, I just found out…PIGS are made of HAM!!

Hey, I have often said that the best way to make enemy infantry disperse and run for the hills would be to drop a large payload of tampons on them. They don’t even have to be used ones; men just have a superstitous fear of these things.