My condolences, Foggy.
Very sorry to hear that. My grandfather went through a similar thing a bit over a year ago. Started at 83, healthy and alert. He fell ill, was diagnosed with dementia, and while in the hospital only got worse. The hospital told us that the drugs were partly responsible for his mental state. Within two months he had died.
That was bad, but it would have been worse to carry on for years in that state. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Ahhh, so sorry for your loss Foggy. You take good care of yourself during these difficult times, and come here to vent anytime you like.
kam
So sorry about this, Foggy. I hope you’re looking after yourself.
Thank you all.
My brother isn’t the best communicator and I didn’t realize just how much my mothers health had deteriorated. She died in her sleep, her body just giving out I guess. It just seems to have unraveled so fast.
For the last 5 years or so I talked with my mother every 4 days or so. I miss talking with her and that is something I would never have thought I would say.
There is just my brother & me, but we have never been close. Our father is in AZ and still alive as far as I know, but Jeff hasn’t talked to him in decades and I send him an email at the holidays.
I keep thinking I’m free of her. No longer responsible to her or for her. It always seemed that anything I wanted to do, I had to consider what she wanted or her feelings first.
Family, what are you going to do?
I’m not sure what’s next. There are some loose ends that my brother is taking care of.
There is nothing for me to do from here.
Thanks for listening.
Take care.
I’m so sorry, Foggy.
Sorry for your loss Foggy .
What are some of the things that you had wanted to do that you felt you couldn’t do because of her?
I know you have mentioned on this site that you have had chronic suicidal thoughts and that one reason you didn’t act on them was because of your mom. Is there anything that you haven’t done because of family obligations that might possibly make life easier to tolerate?
Reading between the lines on what you’re saying in this post, it sounds like your family hasn’t exactly been a source of happiness for you. I can understand how that can bring up some mixed feelings in a time of grief. It’s never easy losing a mother, but sometimes family relationships can be painful too.
When my mother died, it was definitely sad in a lot of ways, but I have to admit it did give me a chance to do things with my life that I wouldn’t have done if I had still felt obligated to her - the silver lining basically. I hope that you too have an opportunity to do some positive things for yourself and see if maybe that can help with some of the sadness and loneliness it sounds like you’ve been carrying around for a long time.