I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s hard to lose your mother, no matter when it happens, and she was taken from you way too soon. Be gentle with yourself. Let people help you if you can.
My condolences, Dio.
God, I’m so sorry.
If my experience is any indicator, this isn’t unusual at all. I lost my father in January and sometimes feel that mistakes were made and I’ll be talking to him soon. Because we didn’t live in the same town and I only saw him a couple times a year I know that when the holidays come around where I usually saw him I’ll be expecting him to show up. The funeral gives some closure, but losing one’s parent is so massive I don’t think it truly sinks in for a while (especially if you didn’t see them everyday). I know it will be a long time before I stop thinking: “Oh, I can’t wait to tell dad [insert interesting thing].”
I’m very sorry for your loss, and I empathize for the paperwork agony heading your way. It’s not fun getting on the phone over and over having to tell people and agencies that your parent is dead, and then having to fill out the correct form in the correct way so that things get wrapped up in the right way.
Just saw this terrible news. I’m sorry for your loss Diogenes. I send wishes of peace and strength to you and your family.
My deepest sympathies, Diogenes. That’s very sad news to hear.
So very sorry, Dio.
Dio, I know you value rationality and logic but for a brief time you won’t be as rational and logical as you normally are. And that’s perfectly normal and OK. Death is a shock. Grief is painful.
Try to eat something. I know it’s hard, grief makes me lose my appetite, too, but you do need to take care of yourself.
As for holding out irrational hope - again, it’s a common reaction. I was by my mother’s side, holding her hand when she died and I still had trouble believing it. I spent the time before the morticians showed up going in and out of her room, checking again and again to “make sure”.
I will say I was very grateful to the pickup crew - they carefully made sure her nightgown was in order before moving her, and handled her as gently as if she were still alive even though by then she was cold. It was, of course, for the benefit of those still living as she was beyond all care and suffering. Nonetheless, it was a small but very great kindness to us in our grief, when we weren’t quite rational.
I hope that those around you now, and around your brother and the rest of your family while you deal with this and make the necessary arrangements will be as kind, sensitive, and gentle with you.
This is hard, I know, but others have been through this sort of grief before. We are here for you. If you find any comfort here at all you are welcomed, nay, encouraged to speak. We are here for you.
It’s been about a month since my wife’s mother died and I still sometimes think I’ll run into her. So what you’re feeling is definitely normal.
With mother’s day coming up my wife has been feeling really depressed. But her sister visited today and really cheered her up. Actually, her sister has been a stabilizing force for her. Maybe your brother can be an emotional help for you.
We’re having a funeral service on monday. She was cremated several days ago, but we had to delay the service because we’re all coming from out of town. Her service will be the day after Mother’s Day. I’m going bring a guitar and play and sing a couple of her favorite songs. Playing is easier for me than speaking.
My thoughts are with you, Diogenes the Cynic. I wish you peace in this trying time.
I hope the service helps you find a greater level of comfort and closure.
tnetennba, I don’t know if you are reading along, but I am holding you in my thoughts as well.
Dio, please accept my most sincere condolences. I’ve been away from the Boards awhile and just saw this thread. I’m so sorry.
Been away for quite a while; just saw this. I am so sorry.
Please accept my condolences.
You will never stop missing her. You will start to miss her less often and more gently.
(And let the lawyer handle as much as possible.)
Just saw this- Dio, I’m so sorry. My deepest sympathy to you and all your family. Take care of yourself.
I can only repeat what has been said. I am very saddened by your loss and I hope you will soon be reconciled and at peace, just as you mother is.
I pray your good memories of and with your mother will help sustain you through the times ahead when you are most deeply in grief. Peace be yours with a thankful heart for having the blessing of a good Mom. Let your friends embrace you with their caring.
Thanks, all.