My parents want to be eaten by zombies

They’re currently looking at real estate.

Both of the homes they’re seriously considering are within walking/shuffling distance from cemeteries.

Hey, dead people make the best neighbors. They’re very quiet, and they don’t ask to borrow stuff.

Maybe they like the idea of that Last Commute being a short trip.

Plus, what Alice The Goon said. I’d take a cemetery over noisy neighbors any day.

Well, good. Someone has to slow down the zombies so the rest of us can get away.

Yeah, and flowers are readily available and easy to acquire. Saves a trip to the florist.

Perhaps your parents are vampires or ghouls.

Yeah, my sister lived next to a cemetery. She claimed the residents thereof were the best neighbors she ever had. She didn’t bother them, and they didn’t bother her.

Friend of mine lives next to one, says it is very quiet on Halloween…

I live by two cemeteries and a popular bar. You can probably guess which neighbors I like best.

And two years from now, when someone resurrects this thread, we can call them over to protect us.


…except the occasional brain.

Just introduce them to the SDMB. They’ll be overwhelmed by the zombies pretty quickly.

Hey, cemeteries are great places to be. People are just dying to get in.

Heh, I used to live right next to a large cemetery and a couple college bars. I much preferred the dead folks to the half-dead ones. I lived next to that cemetery for two years and didn’t witness a single creepy or unexplained occurrence. I was kind of disappointed.

I also had the idea to set up a cemetery live-cam website but the trees obscured the view outside my window.

They had better have a zombie plan that involes a helicopter on top of their roof. Quickest way to avoid the initial infection.

I once lived above a funeral home. :smiley:

I live right next to Rock Creek Church Cemetery ( which has all these great old crypts and has some famous for DC types buried there. I even walk in it at night. I love the idea of Zombie Alice Roosevelt, Zombie Upton Sinclair, and Zombie Tim Russert.

Wouldn’t Zombie Upton Sinclair organize the zombie workers into some sort of union collective?

What do we want?
When do we want them?

My favorite fact about Upton Sinclair’s modest grave is that it is directly across from the family crypt of the guy who invented Wonder Bread, not sure old Upton wanted to spend eternity looking at the grand tomb of a food industrialist.

I grew up next to a cemetery, never thought anything of it. All my friends though knew lots and lots of ghost stories about that particular cemetery, but I never was able to experience any of it.