Rather than resurrect the old thread, I am starting one anew.
I returned from my vacation to find one white box sitting on my porch. The sealing tape glistened as I gently shook it. Sweat moistened my upper lip (anticipation, not effort) as I carried it into Chez Cranky to find a scissors. The tape yielded to the sharp blade and I opened the box to find… NEWSPAPER!
But wrapped within the newspaper were three very white elephant-worthy items. Also, a note from American War Machine, my oh-so-cool white elephant donor. The items:
(1) A detailed wooden carving/sculpture of Cuban origin. American War Machine said he hoped I found it as hideous as he did, but alas I must report that Mr. Cranky loved it–qt least its bottom half. He’s a woodworker and immediately identified it as mahogany.
(2) Salt-and-pepper shakers in the form of – get this – monkeys wearing fezzes. I am not making this up. Red fezzes with yellow tassels. It looks like someone might have painted them in a ceramics class. There is just one hole for the salt (or pepper). Not exactly shakers extraodinaire, but they’re for sure going on my stove to enhance the kitchen decor.
(3) The piece de resistance in terms of sheer uselessness: a personalized ear protector. That’s right, folks, it’s a piece of lavender putty/plastic formed in the exact shape of American War Machine’s ear. It comes in its own little box. From all appearances, it looks like American War Machine has a nicely-formed ear, but it’s hard to tell for sure.
Thank you, AMR, for the cool stuff! What a treat!!