I wonder how many potential viewers are deterred when they see my name with my topics?
Anyways, setting the scene for this hilarious anecdote.
My girlfriend and I are doing naughty things on her bed which, for reasons I never cared to ask, has balloons on it. She’s lying on my chest and we’re consuming each other with our mouths. I suddenly pull my hands from her face and trace them down her body, where I grab the elastic of her workout sweats. I pull it away from her backside and jam a purple balloon down there.
Shocked, she pulls away from me, propping herself on her arms and staring down at me with a total wtf? expression. I reply, “This is one of my greatest fantasies. Now make a noise like a clown.”
I know, I know, I didn’t think anything could get any funnier than my particular brand of wit, either… then I found out she was afraid of clowns.
That was two days ago and I’m still laughing hysterically when I think about it. Every time I chortle at the memory she just turns dour and warns, “Motherf****r, strangers offer to buy me jewelry every day. Why the hell am I with you?”
P.S. I posted the answer to my Hotmail password riddle, if anyone’s still fuming about that.