my sex fantasy -- is this weird?

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

I wonder how many potential viewers are deterred when they see my name with my topics?

Anyways, setting the scene for this hilarious anecdote.

My girlfriend and I are doing naughty things on her bed which, for reasons I never cared to ask, has balloons on it. She’s lying on my chest and we’re consuming each other with our mouths. I suddenly pull my hands from her face and trace them down her body, where I grab the elastic of her workout sweats. I pull it away from her backside and jam a purple balloon down there.

Shocked, she pulls away from me, propping herself on her arms and staring down at me with a total wtf? expression. I reply, “This is one of my greatest fantasies. Now make a noise like a clown.”

I know, I know, I didn’t think anything could get any funnier than my particular brand of wit, either… then I found out she was afraid of clowns.

That was two days ago and I’m still laughing hysterically when I think about it. Every time I chortle at the memory she just turns dour and warns, “Motherf****r, strangers offer to buy me jewelry every day. Why the hell am I with you?”

P.S. I posted the answer to my Hotmail password riddle, if anyone’s still fuming about that.

#2

Um…
Okay.

I know that there are people in the world with balloon fetishes…but clowns? That’s a new one on me…

I’d call it weird. But not weird/bad, just weird/weird.

#3

Anal you are just too much.

#4

Yeah, why? :confused:

#5

Anal, well, I saw the subject for the OP and then noted that you had posted it. At that point my first thought was, yes, Anal you are a freak. Then I read the OP and got sorta turned on…then decided we are both freaks. On second thought, I didn’t get turned on, you are just a freak. :slight_smile:

Slee

#6

Stop clown porn now: http://www.StopClownPornNow.org/clownporn/index.html

#7

Some kind of zen thing: What is the sound of a clown with a balloon down the back of her pants?

Zzzzzzzrrrrrrrbbbbbb-bp-bp-bpt.

#8

Is there any post of Anal Scurvy’s where his name just makes you think twice about the post? (i.e Sex Fantasy + Anal Scurvy)

#9

Ummm…yeah.

Not sexy, but funny…sortof…in a very peculiar way. I still haven’t figured out if you were serious about the “make noises like a clown thing” or not.

#10

Read this book, Deviant Desires and all will be answered. :smiley:

#11

When I saw the thread title and then saw the name of the poster I was a little worried.

But I have a question.

How does one make a noise like a clown? Unless you have a bike horn.

#12

Rysdad and Zebra, it appears that the noise a clown makes is “Motherf****r, strangers offer to buy me jewelry every day. Why the hell am I with you?”

#13

FWIW, I think it’s kinda strange, but it cracks me up every time I read this thread.

#14

The answer to why she is still with you is that she is still consumed with guilt over the bloodbath following the botched attempted at shearing you.

#15

Regarding the OP – “Of course it’s weird. So what?”
1.) You’re not unique. There are a lot of sites devoted to balloon fetishes and even clown fetishes.

2.) But there are a lot of sites devoted to even stranger fetishes. See the book Freyr recommends above. One ineresting thing about the Internet is that it has allowed people with weird interests to find each other and contribte to such sites. Before this they had to do it through the mail (see the book High Weirdness by Mail. I think most of the folks lsted in that book, if they’re still around, now have Internet sites.)

#16

Anal Scurvy… Butt Sex with Balloons in the panties… clown noises? What type of noises to clowns make??

“HEY HEY! KIDS! Who wants to rub my ass till it pops against my prostate?!?!”

#17

Clowns??? I suppose you also like to make love to selections from “Pierrot Lunaire”, don’t you?

#18

An awful lot of perversions turn me on, and I can at least see the point of many others. This one leaves me with a big “Huh?”

So I’d personally consider it weird. Why that should matter to you, I don’t know. But now that you know what clowns say, ya might want to listen. :wink:

#19

I did not read the OP. Nor did I read any of the responses. It’s your fantasy. Keep it to yourself.

#20

wow.

It gives new meaning to going to Clown College.