My, uh, post, is my cite.
(do you see what I did there?)
However insufferable and far gone as they seem, do try to have a little sympathy for the kids. They didn’t ask to inherit her genes or attitude.
Well, either way, the kid needs help – not his uncle treating him like a freak.
Ugh. I think everybody knows someone like this. The unemployed know-it-all master bullshitter.
Of course the reason they are unemployed despite knowing everything about everything is because they are just too smart for everyone else and people resent them for it.
I had the pleasure of meeting my cousin’s fiance this way. The 22 year-old douche couldn’t hold a job for more than a month (this was before the recession) yet he got into a conversation with my father and two uncles (all making good money for many years in their respective careers) about how he knew the “real” way to make money and how everyone else was more or less fools.
Cousin Rochelle really knew how to pick em.
Do you by any chance remember what she had to say about Arabic?
Her name isn’t Ronette or Ronda by any chance, is it?
Well, at least she didn’t hit you, like my brother’s cunt whore of a gf. They were visiting here this weekend. She kept snidely commenting on my relationship (which is great, thankyouverymuch), telling me to shut up, making comments like I was an idiot, re: Obama “What’s he know about being an American?”, making racist jokes, and generally being a bitch. At one point, she says “Can I smack him?” and my brother goes “That’s between you two.” So she smacks me in the head. I warned her that I hit back, so I buried my elbow into her sternum and knocked her back a few feet. Satisfying as hell.
My advice Dudley, is to make it clear that you don’t have to like them. Next time the 7 yr old says something like that, make it clear that it’s your wife he’s talking to, and you won’t have that in your house. Feel free to do it 2 inches from his face. When the SIL opens her mouth again, tell her she’s wrong and why she’s wrong and that you don’t appreciate her lying to you. Show the older kid how your washer works and/or where the garbage can is. Time to take charge, my friend!
((FTR: I’ve got nothing against mildly hitting a woman that hits you first. I don’t, however, advice hitting anyone - especially the kids))
Uh, this answer suggests you don’t understand what “transgender” means. It doesn’t mean “hemaphrodite” or anything like that where the kid has physical characteristics of both genders. It means the kid is identifying as a specific gender (female) while having been physically born as the other (male). So yeah, if the kid prefers to be a girl and insist on a girl’s name and that everyone treats him like a girl, then he may be transgendered.
And that would really suck if your mom is a Rhonda!
Dudley, please share more stories. Whenever I get down on myself it’s nice to know that somewhere out there people like this are setting the bar reeeeeeally low.
Yeah. Overqualified and disdainful of working menial jobs, and too unstable or underqualified to do anything else.
Put it on YouTube so that we can all point and laugh at her.
I’d love to hear what she has to say about Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
I enjoyed the use of “crotchfruit” and “nugget of evil” in the rant, by the way.
It is now Tuesday night - late Tuesday night - on the west coast. Either SIL is dead and Dudley is in jail, or he and the wife are, er, celebrating. Nosy minds wish to know!
I dunno, I’d probably check into a motel/hotel if I were in this situation. Life is too short to put up with shit like this.
You know, you’re probably right, but there’s something about being forced out of my own home that would probably keep me there just out of principle.
To back up to the OP, you might point out that she could attain a terminal velocity of 400mph if she were denser than lead. <Evil grin smiley>
Ask her to figure out what weighs more: a pound of feathers, or a pound of lead. See if she gets it. 
I vote for videotaping any future performances. This sounds like true Borat type material. You could split the profits with her and the fruits.
I have a family member who loudly proclaims to know it all, as well. One day, I said to him, “Did you know that between you and me, we know everything there is to know in the world? Because you seem to know everything except for the fact that you are an insufferable jerk*, and I know that.”
- Feel free to insert epithet of your choice here.
Worked wonders!
Ahhh…but I would make the escape fun. Get a room/suite with a hot tub, etc. Buy a case of beer. Invite friends, get pizzas delivered.