The way I read the OP, the sister jumped to the conclusion that Peter was going to bring Renee as his guest when he asked about the registry…because to the sister’s way of thinking, no one would ever send a wedding gift if they weren’t invited to the wedding. So in her panic, she started trying to dissuade Renee from coming…never thinking that maybe Renee didn’t want to be there anyhow!
And now I see you want to close the thread…without giving us the closure of the details! I’m going to pout, now…
I find it hilarious and sad that a woman working on her third marriage is worried about another woman not looking right at the mockery of a wedding. Then again, people are free to associate (or not). My response to a non-existent, passive-aggressive “invitation” of that sort would likely be to sit it out.
There is a certain amount of reciprocal respect at play here - you show respect for the upcoming marriage (and the pending spouses) and the hosts show respect for the guests. You aren’t being shown due respect as an invited guest - wait, you weren’t invited! The invited guests on the bride’s side aren’t being respected either. Depending on the circumstances of the first two failed marriages, the idea of marriage isn’t being respected.
Okay, kittenblue, here’s the rest of the story, and I swear I am not making this up:
My sister called off the wedding today. It turns out that she had been having Severe Doubts over the last few months about her bridegroom. They were confirmed late last night we she found undeniable proof that he was two-timing her. I understand now why she’d been so spacey about the invitation: she’d been worried sick about other things.
She had not expressed any of her worries about the wedding to me. Guess whohad been her confidante during this time?
Renee.
Renee kept Sis’s confidence, but also expressed to her that she was uncomfortable being in public right now and hoped Sis would understand if she gave the wedding a miss. When Sis told me that she “didn’t want Renee to feel uncomfortable,” she was trying to smooth the path for a graceful exit for Renee. This was unnecessary, because I already knew Renee wasn’t going and was cool with it, but Sis didn’t know that.
Like I said, it was a horrible miscommunication, and I was presuming awful things about my sister. Now someone please close this thread!
Humbly,
PP
Locked at the request of the OP.