My little Squirrel Girl has passed away.
The good girl in my avatar photo went to sleep in my arms an hour ago, never to awaken.
She was roughing it for the last few days, becoming non-responsive, getting confused in familiar surroundings, not recognizing me or any of her friends. I took her in to the vet on Friday, and after $3000 in tests, they said she had cancer growing behind her bladder. We talked about options to combat the cancer, and had a consultation with an oncologist for Monday.
The let her come home with me on Saturday, and she was completely out of it. I even cooked up some ground beef for her and put it on a place, and she barely even cared. She did eventually eat most of it, but left a significant amount.
Last night was one of the hardest nights of my life. She would just stand and stare, then start walking into walls. I would take her outside and she would relieve herself, but just keep walking in circles. Eventually, I would bring her back in, get her to lay down with me, and she would fall asleep for an hour or so, only to repeat the process when she woke back up.
I took her to her favorite park this morning, and she almost seemed to be there for moments, but then would slip back into a fugue state. I didn’t keep her there all that long.
I took her back to the vet, a 24 hour emergency vet, and told them that I thought that she was gone. After evaluating her, they agreed with me, and we chose to euthanize her. They were able to allow me to come in and be with her while the put her under, and I just held her and whispered sweet nothings into her ear, told her that she had been such a good girl and that she deserved to rest. I told her that I would be there for her, always, that I would be there when she woke up.
As I starting singing to her, our little private song, “My little Squirrel girl, you make me happy, when skies are grey.” she went limp in my arms, peed on me a little, and then went completely slack.
The vet confirmed that she had passed, and I took a few minutes with her before they came to take her away. She will be cremated and I will get the ashes back in a few days. Nice wooden box and everything.
She had a good friend who moved away a few years ago, and then he passed on last year. I plan on sending some of her ashes to my friend, so that he can put them with his, and they can be together again.
Not sure what I should do with my avatar. I’ll leave it for now in remembrance of her, but I’m not sure if I want to see it while discussing politics or gun rights.
Anyway, this has been a mundane pointless thing that I really had to get off my chest. I hope everyone else is well.
Thank you for listening.