Leave out the chili. Just cheese and (Pace Medium) salsa. And it needs to be kept hot in a crock pot.
But forget it for this party. Friend doesn’t want you. Lose the ‘friend’.
yeah it’s not so easy to meet new friends as everyone says. I am scared to try new things
So am I though, but it’s never as bad as you think it is. When I first moved to NYC for school I was TERRIFIED that I would be a friendless loser. But, I was friendly to everyone, I accepted invitations from the girls on my floor and I found friends within a week! Some of those girls I drifted apart from, but others I’m still friends with. I was also lucky enough to be invited to join my college’s honor society which had forced social events and a mandatory class we had to take- so I made a lot of my friends there. Then I started working and made friends outside of the college social circle. I also met a friend of mine when I moved out of the dorms into a house with a group of students, some from other schools.
It sounds hard and difficult when you’re just thinking about it, but when you get out and actually do it, it’s no so bad. And I agree, it is so much easier said than done! But it is not impossible to do.
Best of luck. How old are you now, 19 or so? When you’re older you’ll look back and think you were oh so silly about all this. I’m 21 and I think that about my past self, and I’m sure when I’m 25 I’ll think the same about how I am now.
I’m 20 and in college and I think I am silly but I worry too much about things and overthing things
Talking to people is generally what one does at parties. Why do you want to go if you don’t want to talk to anyone? So you can mooch off someone else’s food and watch someone else’s television?
Stop thinking and do! Right now I’m having financial difficulties and it drove me to post a stupid thread about reincarnation (I know those two subject sound like complete non-sequiturs). But instead of brooding I am sending out cover letters and resumes. I want to drink turpentine when all I think about is, “OMG HOW AM I GOING TO PAY MY RENT??” but if I think about it step by step, “My parents are helping me this month. I am getting a large amount back from taxes so I am ok for next month. I am doing some freelance work. I can try to negotiate a raise at work,” it’s so much more manageable and I no longer have the urge to make stupid posts on message boards.
The same theory can be applied for your making friends issue.
Then don’t ask him. If he wanted you there, he would have asked you in the first place.
Besides, you have how many TVs? Turn them all on, and watch the Super Bowl that way!
I can talk to people at a party I guess. There is football and something we can use to start a conversation. But I meant my bigger problem is talking to people on the phone or talking to someone about something important. I have the hardest time calling people or anything so it would be rate harder to talk to my friend about this certain thing.
I only have 1 TV in the dorms
I say you just show up with a bucket of stolen popcorn in one hand and a laser disc player in the other, and go up to the biggest guy in the room and go “Hands off my mental girlfriend.”
Let me know if that works for you. My friend wants to know.
Our campus church is having a party, and you don’t need to be Catholic to go. Snacks are provided. I imagine that there are campus groups by you also hosting such parties. Have you looked around?
Maybe these people think YOU don’t want to be friends with them since it’s so difficult to talk to them about normal friend stuff. Everyone is shy to an extent- I’m terribly shy around my boss and he probably thinks I’m an idiot. But if you really can’t even approach people you’re friends with and have a normal conversation with them, then that may be an indicator of some other anxiety problem.
yes I know there is a campus party but I don’t know anyone there and I don’t like meeting new people. I want to see my friend. Otherwise I’ll just watch it alone.
So go to both parties. If one isn’t panning out, go to the other. And nobody likes meeting new people. It’s just one of those things you have to do if you want to have friends, so you grit your teeth and do it. It gets easier with practice.
If you go to your friend’s party uninvited, they will know you are a huge loser who they can feel superior to. To overcome your social deficit, you need to gain some major points fast. To this end, I recommend finding a Super Bowl party hosted by someone in your area who is a local legend, like a newscaster or amateur porn star. Show up at that party uninvited. Tell them you’re that boner guy from those Enzyte commercials (take a bunch of Viagra before you go in case they don’t believe you).
Once you’re in, set up a webcam in the corner and Skype your friends from the cool party so they know that you’re hanging with people who are better than them. Note: this plan won’t work if your friends don’t have Skype set up at their house, so you may have to break in the day before and set it up for them.
Report back.
Because I’ve seen you take Giraffe seriously before, I will point out that he is not actually serious. It’s his way of trying to be friends.
But, yeah. Don’t just show up. It might have been okay if you hadn’t asked, as you could claim ignorance, and they would learn they need to be more direct with you if they want you not to come. But you’ve asked, so they already know this. If they don’t respond, just assume your friend is either a chicken or a poor communicator, and is trying to say you aren’t invited without hurting your feelings.
But, unlike everyone else, I don’t think it was gauche to ask. It’s one of those “what does it hurt” moments. If someone doesn’t like you, why does it matter if you come off as a bit desperate? What are they going to do, not be your friend more?
Why dont you watch Superbowl reruns from the eighties on that TV/VCR thing you got?
What is it that you currently do that makes your friends reluctant to have you around? Or to put it differently, what could you do to make your friends want to have you around more?
I’m wondering if, in the past, you’ve gone to a party like this and expected your friend to spend most of his time with you, when in fact the way parties work is that you try and spend a small amount of time with everybody.
This is when eccentricitism has its benefits.
Go to the TV room in the dorm.
Set up a couple of bowls of chips, dip, and a small cooler of soda (all of which should cost under $10).
Put up a couple of signs saying “I’m watching the Super Bowl in Room X. Everyone welcome to join me (and I’ve got food!)”
Sit back and watch the game.
Maybe no one will come. Oh well, time to learn how to be more dependent and self-accepting for awhile. But chances are at least a couple of people will drop in, at least for a spell. They could become nascent friends, or at least good acquaintances. Either way, you’ll be sending the message to yourself that your happiness doesn’t hinge on what other people do. You create your own world.
If your friend didn’t want you at the party, don’t hate him. Don’t dump him. Just don’t let it bring you down. Maybe you have personality quirks that he can tolerate, but that others find annoying. Examine yourself (or you too clingy? too quiet? too loud and judgemental? do you often seem one step behind everyone?). If any of these things seem like a possibility, see if you can work on them. If not, then just move on. Instead of spinning around the margins of a social hub that may not be meant for you, you could become one yourself–one designed for people who are more like you.
Facebook is seductive for people for people with poor social skills. That’s both a good thing and a bad thing.
So you weren’t intived to a party and then when you asked if you could attend, the host didn’t respond?
Yeah, I say show up anyway. Make sure you complain that the guacamole is sub par and the domestic beer they’re providing is normally not the brand you drink, but it’ll do in a pinch. And then find a cute girl and tell her that you’re really hoping Fergie has a wardrobe malfunction during the half time show.
You’ll be a shoo-in for their Cinco de Mayo party.
Why the hell do you keep asking questions and then roundly ignoring the very sensible answers?
Really. Clues have been given. Pick them up. Answers have been given. Pay attention to them. Consider the answers and advice you’ve been given instead of just mulishly responding.
Your response to this thread, and others, tells me why you were not invited.