My son's left his wife

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

After 20 years of marriage the apple of my eye has tootled off with another lady.

First a little background info. and apologies for rambling on

Last September, 2008, my son was given the opportunity to buy his own business, the owner was willing to advance him a loan to enable the purchase.

However, my sons credit rating was piss poor so in order for the business to be transferred he asked me to stand as Managing Director, which I did and the transfer went ahead.

I take no interest in the business and receive no payment whatsoever, it’s just my name being used in order that the business can continue.

Since the takeover my son has worked like a Trojan, he’s turned a profit of £32k in year ending Sept. 2007 (the previous owner) into £51k for year ending Sept. 2009.

He’s travelled the length and breadth of the UK securing orders from:

Airlines
Hotel chains
Supermarkets
The NHS

These are just a few BTW. Admittedly he was less than ethical in getting these orders as some of them were in actual fact customers of the firm he worked for before he became his own boss.

Now we get to the nitty-gritty.

He’s upped sticks and leased an apartment in an up-market area of the UK and his lady love has left her husband and moved in with him.
He’s told his wife he will continue to pay the lease on their last home but only for 3 months, he’ll also contribute towards other costs but again for 3 months maximum, then she, his wife, has to sort herself out.

His wife phoned me asking me to tell him to move back. I told her I can’t tell him to do anything, he’s an adult, he pleases himself.

Now it gets sticky, his wife tells me she’ll sue him for 50% of everything and I believe she’s entitled to this after 20 years married.

My main concern is not for my son it’s for me, where do I stand if my sons wife is successful?

Will I be lumbered with any costs as the MD of his comapny should it go tits up?

Or should I resign as MD as soon as things appear to be looking dodgy?.

2

I am not a UK lawyer. I suggest you get one immediately.

From my perspective, since you received no income from the business I don’t see how you’re liable. I’m probably wrong.

Again, I am not a UK lawyer. I suggest you get one immediately.

Have you talked to your son about his upending his family after 20 years?

3

You need legal guidance, not opinions from a US-based message board. Get yourself a lawyer.

4

You may have enabled your son to dick over his wife. But it is a long time since I worked in such things, and I have NO IDEA how things work in England.

When I worked in collections it was quite common for extremely wealthy businesspeople to own precious little property in their name. Was often quite difficult - if not impossible - to establish (for example) that the husband actually “owned” the business instead of his wife whose name everything was in.

You probably want to get some legal advice right away as to what personal liability you might have. In the US it is conceivable that the wife would be SOL WRT the business - tho I’m not sure how well your son’s - ahem - settlement proposal would stand up.

Thanks for presenting yet another reason to keep family and business separate!

5

Yes I have. I asked him why and the only thing he came up with was “Well dad, I just don’t love her anymore, I love someone else”

Dinsdale How did I enable my son to dick over his wife?

To the rest: A lawyer is on the cards, first thing Monday

6

I generally feel a good starting point for property settlements in cases of marriage dissolution is an even distribution of income/assets acquired during the marriage. In your case, your legal fiction may allow your son to avoid giving his wife a share of the business. But if it is as blatant of a fiction as you describe, in the US I would hope a lawyer would help her get to the assets. I’m not sure what liability you personally would bear, as you say you take no interest in the value of the company. But again - in the US that would largely depend on how ownsership was styled.

I know nothing about your son’s and his wife’s situations, but unless she is independently wealthy and/or quite well employed, your son’s proposed settlement impresses me as quite dickish.

7

I would not be the MD of a firm where such things happened.
I would be very nervous about letting my name be used to supply a credit rating.
I would now speak to a lawyer.

8

Dickish it may well be but there is nothing at all I can do about that.

FWIW his wife is employed as an NHS nurse which is hardly the best paid job in the world and wealthy she is not

9

Are there children involved?

And in the US, I can see a judge laughing himself silly if the husband came to him with this proposal. I hope the UK judges are equally as fair-minded.

She needs an attorney, you need an attorney, and your son needs a slap upside the head.

10

[quote=“ivylass, post:9, topic:514032”]

Are there children involved?

QUOTE]

There is one child, my grandaughter, who is married and lives in Australia.

She’s had no contact with either her parents or myself for something approaching 5 years.

11

I am not a lawyer. I am not your lawyer. I am not a barrister or solicitor. And I’m certainly not qualified to give legal advice. But I have read all the Rumpole of the Bailey books!
That said, the word seems to be that the courts in England are fairly pro-wife. In a case of adultery like this, resulting in a case where the wife is unable to support herself, considering that the company was created while they were married…

Your son is screwed, the paper ‘MD’ you have will probably not protect him. You’re probably safe, but I’d check with a solicitor, myself. I would not resign now, it wouldn’t help, as your status as MD during the marriage would be the point.

I mean seriously screwed. There is no such thing as no-fault divorce in England. The option he gave her is laughable, and he may not have a valid cause for divorce at all. She does, mind you, but he may not.

12

Well, on the one hand, there will be no child support to haggle over.

On the other, I’m sorry you haven’t talked to your granddaughter in five years.

13

But there might be something you could do about it. You’re nominally the director of the company, and from a legal standpoint have quite a bit of control. You might be able to use your influence over the business to force your son to treat the wife equitably. As in, threaten to leave or whatever (obviously I have no idea precisely how things are set up).

I am assuming, of course, that you believe she should have a reasonable recompense for the years spent married to your son. If you don’t… well, I can’t respect that attitude.

14

Go!, go, go, Chowder Son! Run swift, run far.

Your Dad and your wife are conspiring against you, and believe that you cannot determine your own destiny. Your wife calls your dad to tell him to ‘make’ you see the light.

Run hard, run fast. Never look back. Live in a tent and eat roots before you agree to accept the life you are being forced into.

I’m sure you mean well, Dad, but damn it Chowder, you are wrong.

Chowder quote: “My main concern is not for my son it’s for me, where do I stand if my sons wife is successful?”

Your main concern is for yourself. Be honest. You do no not like the loss of control and are at sea because your son has chosen a path that you don’t agree with. Freedom to fail is a good thing.

Do you care at all about what might make your son happy? Or are you more upset that he is not following the life plan that you have set? I see no comment in your posts about your son’s feelings.

15

Hang on a second here.

  1. Neither his wife or myself are conspiring in any way, I’ve had one phone call from her, just one.

  2. Of course my main concern is me, I’m 67 years old, I don’t want or need any hassle at that age.

  3. Loss of control of what?. As for my son not following a life plan that I set, I never set out any plan.

  4. Naturally I’m concerned about my sons feelings but as I said upthread, he’s an adult, nothing I can say will influence him in any big way, he’ll do his own thing regardless.

16

Maybe you can explain this “Managing Director” concept a bit more. From the OP, it sounds more like you co-signed a loan so your son could get the business. But you didn’t? Are you saying the bank is relying on your business acumen to assure the the success of the company, rather than insisting on some silly thing like collateral for the loan?

Are you asking this question – if your son’s business fails, can the bank come after you? I don’t suppose it really matters a bunch why it fails – dismantled as part of a divorce settlement, or because of an downturn in the economy, or bad decision making.

I’d have to say, if you didn’t understand what your personal risks were in standing up and swearing and avowing --whatever-- to the bank so your son could get a loan, then the bank showed very poor judgement on relying upon your business acumen. Because you don’t seem to have any.

Does being a Managing Director give you any legal authority within the company? Or is it just a meaningless title. IOW, do you really have no control, or do you have control that you don’t really have any interest in exercising?

17

I did not co-sign for any bank loan, the loan to enable my son to purchase the business was advanced to him by the previous owner, I signed nothing. From what I understand, because my sons credit rating was bad an MD was required, because my credit rating is good I was asked to stand.

My business acumen, or lack of, was not in question at any time by anyone

As I said in my OP, I take no interest in the business at all and receive no payment. As for legal authority, yes I do have some and I suppose if push came to shove I have the authority to fire everybody there, at least I think I do but I could be wrong.

18

If the situation is exactly as you are saying, your personal assets don’t seem to be at risk but I would bet dollars to donuts that the situation is not exactly as you are saying because what you describe makes no sense and I don’t think you understand the situation. Which means who the hell knows if your personal assets are at risk?

19

Believe me the situation is exactly as I describe it whether it makes sense or not, those are the facts.

What I was really trying to find out in my OP was: As MD of my sons company would I be liable for anything should the business go tits up as a result of my sons wife being awarding 50% of his assets, which include the company

20

If the company is properly incorporated, then it sounds to me like the greatest risk is that she becomes a co-owner of the company, maybe majority. If you don’t have any investment in the company or you didn’t co-sign any company loans, then there’s no reason they would go after your personal assets.

I guess the reason people are questioning your version of the story is that usually banks don’t say “Oh, your marketing director has good credit? Alright then, here’s a bag of money”. Usually the marketing director would first need to sign a piece of paper putting their personal assets at risk for the loan. Given your son’s “shady ethics” as you described them, it sounds like you may have been deceived into doing such a thing. IMO that’s the situation what you really need to sort out. If that’s not the case, then I think you’re in good shape.