I just had to share this disturbing beginning to my day…
First, the background: the primary accountant for the company I work for decided not long ago to retire. She has various health problems, and she thought it best to cut back on her work in exchange for some much-needed relaxation. She offered to train her replacement (she’s been doing the general ledger work for something like 12 or 13 years). A really nice lady was hired to take over. The problem is, she has no real accounting background on her resume, so training her to do the various tasks has been an arduous journey for her and our accountant: the new lady wants to know why she is doing each of the various tasks, and our accountant just wants to be able to give her a goof-proof list of steps to complete each phase of the process. In addition to all the training she has had to undergo (mostly over the phone because the accountant has moved out of state), she is also keeping track of rental houses/rent payments for the man who leases office space in our building and acting as Secretary/Treasurer for a land-owners’ association. She has admitted that she has spread herself a little too thinly by trying to keep that many balls in the air, but she keeps trudging through.
Now, the man who leases office space from us happens to be my father-in-law. The company is a private, family-owned corporation of which he is CEO. Except for the accountant who is retiring, all the employees (including me) are and always have been part of the family in one way or another. Through no fault of her own, the lady being trained has stumbled upon a job working for people who, because they are family (and possibly because they are accustomed to taking each other for granted) relate to each other in the work environment in ways that normal people wouldn’t dare.
It’s not unusual for my father-in-law to behave very much like an obstinate child when he doesn’t get exactly what he wants exactly when he wants it. I’ve witnessed a fair amount of playground bullying tactics from him to “get his point across” to people. Back in the day, when he was establishing himself in the local business community, his approach probably worked. However, now that he is in his mid-70s, times and people have changed. He no longer has that much weight to throw around to get the job done. He doesn’t have the same connections he used to have. The problem is, he still acts like he is the toughest, most well-connected and influential person in our region of the country. No exaggeration.
So, this morning he was reading over some minutes of the latest meeting of the Board of Directors of the land-owners’ association (he’s on that Board, too) when he came across an item mentioning something he didn’t agree with. Instead of calling up the President of that Board and discussing the point directly with the person who approved those minutes, he proceeded to attack this poor lady whose only job was to record what went on at the meeting. He told her that the one part of the minutes he disagreed with was inaccurate.
She nodded and maintained eye-contact with my father-in-law. Apparently, he saw this as a cordial invitation to pounce on her. In front of me, my husband, my mother-in-law, and my brother-in-law, he proceeded to repeat ad nauseum (and with increasing volume) the point he was trying to make, insinuating that she is an airheaded, incompetent idiot. By the time he was able to stop and take a breath, I could see from behind his back that her eyes were swollen and tears were streaming down her cheeks.
I stood up and said, “I’m sure she understands! She gets it, okay?”
His cell phone rang, and after he concluded the conversation with whoever had called, he walked back to her desk and started up on her again. He summed up his lecture by repeating the same thing using the same words, muttered one of those pseudo-apologies that contains the phrase “…if I did anything to upset you…”, then turned and left the office.
Not long after that, my husband gathered his things and prepared to leave the office for a meeting. I told him that he should’ve stood up for this woman. He, more than any other member of the family (besides my mother-in-law), knows how to handle his dad. He knows what an ass he can be. I couldn’t believe that he and my brother-in-law could just sit and leave this poor woman under the bus. As a result of what happened this morning, she is submitting her resignation from the company, my father-in-law’s personal business, and the landowners’ association Board.
My father-in-law has tried to pull that stuff on me before, and I told him straight-out that I didn’t take that kind of crap from my own dad, and I certainly wasn’t going to take it from him. And you know what? He hasn’t tried since. You know why? Because, like any classic bully, he feeds on the weak and the silent. He isn’t equipped to handle it once the weak and silent become strong and vocal. Now, instead of telling me to do something, he asks.
I wish I had been able to make more of a difference this morning when I put in my two cents. I wish my officemate had been able to stand up for herself. I will miss her.
