My Stalker is Back

So, I dated this girl in highschool for a few months. She turned out to be a bit odd, and we didn’t really “click”. We went our separate ways.

A few years after graduation, I see her unexpectedly. She’s married and has a kid. When we’re talking, she’s behaving as if we’re still going out though. It’s a bit creepy, but I don’t see any harm. Then she starts showing up at random places–and is always overly friendly. This goes on for a few years, then I get a better job and move away. She (thankfully) doesn’t follow.

Then, today, I got a (really) late Valentine’s Day card in the mail. Not a lovey-dovey one, just a friendly one, like one would send to a sibling. It’s really strange.

You really have not given any evidence of real stalker type behavior in your OP unless the chance meetings were really (you didn’t say) her lying in wait for you. On the stalker dial what you’ve described might be characterized as her still a bit in love with you, but I’d hesitate to characterize a woman’s “friend” type valentine as “stalking” unless she takes it to a more aggressive level.

Have you asked her to stop contacting you?

Describe this? Nothing else sounds like stalker-y behavior.

Is it the “overly-friendly” bit, or the “showing up in random places” bit that’s scary?

How does she know where you’re going to be, or is/was it a small town where you’re likely to run into people?

Random places like the mall, or random places like when you’re rock-climbing halfway up a cliff face?

I had a stalker in college. You know the difference, believe me, even if it’s on-the-surface innocent looking. It was college, right? You’re bound to run into the same people. Well no, ever semester he was outside of classes I was coming out of. Also there’s the part about him showing up at my parents’ door at 8 pm on Christmas eve, an hour away from school. For two or three years. He was harmless, I think. Mostly just lonely.

Yeah, mine gave me a box of candy that actually had a little dead bird in it.

But the OP’s person does sound like she’s acting unusually, and that is unsettling when you find someone inexplicable or unpredictable.

Was your stalker a house cat?

Ha! I just snorted really loudly and now people are staring at me. :smiley:

My stalker is a house cat, but she’s inside only, so she can only leave me dead toys or slippers.

That’s hardly a stalker – that’s your owner giving you your payment. (Just ask any cat.)

This is the part I’d like to see explained more. Was there touching, hand-holding, etc.? Or does this refer to things she said? If so, what did she say?

We need details! Inquiring minds and all that.

I’ve only had stalkers online, followed me on every single post, followed me to other boards. Really hateful guy, I’ve met him in person at a board event, he knows where I live… very creepy.

What does that mean, behaving as if you’re still going out?

My first girlfriend in HS stalked me after dumping me. Found this out 20 years after the fact. She told me that she would drive past my house even though it was out of the way. This continued even after I went away to college. It doesn’t bother me since she seems to be an innocent type of crazy. And lives many states away, now.

Well, like the tone of her voice, and saying things like, “We should do dinner some-time”* and yes, she kept rubbing my shoulder. Hard to describe, really–just a funny vibe.

*Went something along the lines of:

We should do dinner sometime.

Oh, OK. I guess. I’d like to meet your family.

No, just us…

I had a former girlfriend like that. When I broke up with her in high school, she ended up in a psychiatric hospital for a few weeks. 21 years later, she found me on-line, and we IM’d frequently for about two weeks. I backed off of that because she talked about things in the past as if they had happened just a few weeks ago and kept trying to get me to say I was still crazy for her. She never accepted that I had broken up with her long ago, and she carried a torch for me for all of those years. She got ugly with me when I told her that our respective marriages were more important than trying to recreate “us.” She has since had lunch with me once (not something I want to repeat) and sent me a friend request on Facebook. It hasn’t been stalking so much as a pitiful avoidance of reality and perpetuating a fantasy.

It’s not automatically a good thing when a girl is crazy for you.

It’s also weird to think that I was “The One That Got Away” to someone.