My Step-father died last month.

I’d known him virtually my whole life. My biological dad and my mother seperated when I was 4 and my step-dad has been there for as long as I can remember.

He was my dad in all but name and biology. He brought me and my two brothers up from childhood and I lived with him and mum right until he died.

Me and mum found him. He had gone to the bathroom to be sick and had died there. He had a brain heamorage.

Me and mum are doing ok. My biggest source of strength is knowing I have to be strong for my mother. Sure I’m greiving, and I was devestated (and fairly useless) for the first two weeks, but I’m functioning now, and getting through everyday-life knowing that my step-father did more in his fifty three years than most people manage to do in eighty or ninety. He was more liked and respected than anyone else I know or know of. He worked tirelessly for minorities in his mid-career (race-relations) and the elderly/disabled in has latter career (head of the IOM red-cross)

I will miss him, but I am greatful for having known him and for being lucky enough to have been brought up and influenced by him.

My sympathies, Lobsang. It sounds like your step-father was a very good man. Also, good job being there for your mother.

Eek! I’m really sorry to hear that, Lobsang. Wishing strength for you and your mother.

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Sending supporting thoughts your way.

I’m sorry for your troubles, Lobsang. :frowning:

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, Lobsang. Good thoughts headed your way.


Deepest sympathy, Lobsang.

It might help to write him a letter. I had the opportinity to write my dad a letter, before he died, but I suspect that writing everything out might help, if only in a cathartic sort of way.

I’m sorry for your loss, Lobsang.

My mother married my step-father when I was three years old. I was raised by him. I will be more sad when he passes away than when my father does.


You have my deepest sympathies. I hope you can find some source of peace and strength in this horrible time.

I’m very sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss, bud :frowning:

Hang in there - sounds like you are doing as good as possible so far.

Speaking as someone who, for valid reasons, has virtually no relationship with his daddy, and having no step-father to speak of, I’m always touched when I hear of people who love, respect, and cherish their fathers and/or father figures.

Sounds like you, your brothers, and your mother were very lucky.

My condolences, Lobsang, and I hope that you’ll all be comforted by sweet memories of your step-father.

The loss of a good, decent man is everyone’s loss.
My condolences.

My condolences to you and your mother, Lobsang.

It’s good of you to be strong for your mother. But don’t neglect your own grief. I did that when my mom died, because I too involved in being strong for my Dad and sister. It ended up prolonging the process.

I didn’t want to leave the replies hanging…

I honestly appreciate all the kind words. Thankyou to everyone who expressed their sympathy for mine and my mother’s loss.

My step-father (I knew him as “Fred”) is never far from my thoughts. It still seems unfair and unreal that he has gone.

In a few days myself and my mother are facing our first christmas without him. It has been difficult to function for both of us. I have my increased responsibilites at work and mum has her own job (in which she is irreplaceable) to cope with.

We are doing well. I have never been superstitious (I am confidently atheist) but I have found myslef joining my mother in believing that Fred, in his afterlife, is helping us get through things.