my stepmother is a bitch

The BBQ Pit
21

I hope no one else has to deal with you in person.

Note: the fucking dishes were clean. He was a drunk and a pot head. He didn’t like having a stepson. That is insane and abusive to wake an eleven year old child at three am on a school night so they can rewash CLEAN dishes.

Hajerio: La-te-FUCKING-dah. I think you have misinterpreted the girl and are holding her to a standard she is already meeting. She said she vaccumed. She also said her stepmother woke her to redo it. Even if the carpet was poorly vaccumed, it could have waited until the next day. The world will NOT end if the carpets are not perfect.

I think you are being quite hard on her, needlessly nasty to me, and as far as I am concerned, you can felch the dessicated cum of Tom Arnold from Roseanne’s ass. And have a NICE day. :smiley:

22

GAH!!! The image is killing me. OK, OK, you win.

Haj

23

Hastur, I think that there are two possible senarios here:

  1. Girl gets home at 3, wants to take nap. Step-mom says “vacumn first”. Girl does quickest possible vacuming job, lays down at 4:00. Step mom walks past, sees that stairs have been vacumned only in the sense that a vacum cleaner has been turned on in their general area, and wakes up the napper to redo.

  2. Girl gets home at 3, wants to take nap. Step-mom says “vacumn first”. Girl does vacuming job, (quality of job is irrelevant here). Step-mom notices stairs look shitty at midnight, wakes up the sleeper to redo.

Now, I think we almost all agree that situation 2 would be excessive (whether or not it was abusive would involve other varibles). How do you feel about situation one?

To the OP:

I hate to tell you this, honey, but you can either 1) bitch about people or 2) let them do things for you (such as cook, do your landry, wake you up). You simply cannot have it both ways, and you are going to have to decide which is more important to you–there really is no right answer. This sucks, I know, but such is life.

24

I, too, am confused by the lack of an alarm clock here. I had my own alarm clock from about 2nd grade on, and was always responsible for getting myself up and ready for school (or whatever)… what is the deal? WHy don’t you have an alarm clock?

25

ok, if her stepmother agreed to wake her up for the psats, and then didn’t wake her in time, i’d see a reason to get upset. yes, she could have used an alarum clock, but why would she when her stepmother already promised to wake her?

i had a similar situation with my gas bill. yes, i could have paid my deposit, but my mother willingly agreed to cosign on it, thus saving me $50. when the gas company cut our account off for lack of deposit, i found out that she’d changed her mind but never bothered to tell me.

i wasn’t so much upset that she didn’t sign the papers as the fact that she promised to do it and then flaked out. i see a similarity with the op’s complaint.

as for the housework, i think we need more info before judging that. my stepfather was a complete jackass about chores. i, too, would be yanked out of bed in the middle of the night, on a school night, to redo chores that didn’t meet his satisfaction. this did not help my grades.

even if she wasn’t yanked out of bed in the middle of the night, her stepmother could have been understanding about her wanting a nap after a hard day. but that would require niceness coming from both sides, and it doesn’t sound like that’s happening here.

26

I think in the case of situation 1 that she should be woken up. Though, I have experienced a stepfather who would have me redo things that were done well, and have heard from other stepchildren variants of the same. Thus, it is open to conjecture and difficult to guage without more data.

27

I’m wondering about the waking-up issue, too.
Did you say specifically, “The PSAT’s are at 8:00” or did the step-mom interpret whatever you said as, “Wake me up at 8:00” ? Sounds like you and step-mom have some communication issues. Were you clear about when you needed to get up? Or did you just say the time you needed to be somewhere? Perhaps she took whatever you said as the time you wanted to be up.

Buy an alarm clock. You can get one for under $10.

Also, I’d like some clarification on the jeans/mustard point. Did you leave the mustard packets in your pockets? If not, how did they get in the wash? Was it step-mom’s fault? Did the mustard leak and get on your clothes? Another wash should have gotten it out.
I forget to check pockets sometimes.

28

Since you happened to use a really nasty epithet to describe your stepmother, you’re not going to get an ounce of sympathy from me.

She can’t wake you up on time? Buy an alarm clock.
Don’t like how she does laundry? Do your own.
Don’t like her cooking? Offer to cook dinner a few times a week.
Don’t like how she bitches at you to help around the house? Do it without being asked and do it right the first time.

I’m guessing that you’re around 16. I was doing these things by the time I was in high school because I understood I needed to put in my share around the house. Did I like it? No, I wanted to take a nap after school, too. (And, I did have an asshole stepfather who pulled quite a bit of shit with me, too, but I never stooped to your level of racial epithets.)

Unless you’re working and helping pay rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc., you’ve got to put in your share. Don’t like it? Move out, get a job, and pull your own. Then you can vaccuum (or not) whenever you feel like it.

29

I couldn’t agree more. Even if you didn’t have an alarm clock, you could have at least tried to go to bed early or something. Don’t blame other people. Plus, be greatful that at least she woke you up at all. Would you have preferred to sleep through the whole thing?

30

What Java just says goes double for me.

Since the age of about 11 I’ve been expected to do the things you bitch about. Grow up, and do these things for yourself, and then you’ll have to take accountability for your OWN actions, instead of blaming your Stepmom-who is your parent by marriage.

Sam

31

Purely out of curiosity, is Jewish-American Princess considered a slur? I’ve only ever heard it used by other Jews, usually self-referentially, (“I’m such a JAP!” sort of thing) so I’ve never been able to gauge reaction to a gentile using it.

32

Perhaps in some circles it may not be considered a slur, but in mine, it certainly is, mostly because it helps cement a particular stereotype.

33

I’m a nice Jewish girl from Long Island. It is most definitely a slur.

34

Hastur,

You didn’t quite make clear the situation in your first responce, my apologies.

35

Hey, shimmery, here is a solution to all your problems.

Think of a place where you would be better off. Write down the address on a large box. Don’t forget the postal code.

Stick a whole bunch of stamps beside the address, take the box outside and place it beside a postbox.

Then climb in and wait to be delivered from your problems.

Just remember not to whine the way you did in your OP, for if you do, you might be returned to sender.

36

Did you ask your stepmom to wake you up when she was busy doing something? Did you say “the PSATs are at 7, wake me up before then” or did you give her a specific time to be woken up? Did you leave her a note just so she would remember? If your stepmother is so incompetent, why didn’t you ask your dad or a sibling?

Did you explain to your stepmom that you needed a quick nap before you did housework? Did you do a sufficient job of vacuuming? Were you deathly tired, or just bored enough to want to sleep?

More importantly, why haven’t you been back here to clarify the situations? It seems that some people are willing to side with you, but no one knows exactly what happened. Are you so afraid of us that you won’t come back?

37

What exactly does Jewish-American princess refer to? I’m in Australia, so I’ve never really heard the term used before - is it a slur against wealthy (maybe spoiled?) Jewish girls? :confused:

Additionally, it might be helpful if the OP came back and clarified her position regarding the alarm clock and the mustard, etc. And how exactly do you wash pants with mustard??

38

First of all, this is Mrs Drillrod. I am a stepdaughter, and I am also a step-mother. Maybe you need to take a step back for a reality check.

Would you be acting this way if it was your biological mother? I think not. You need to pull your head out of your ass, and apologize. Because obviously you are holding some kind of resentment towards your stepmother.
My stepson and I have our moments also but when all is said and done we respect and love each other. I would protect him with all that I am. Take this into consideration. Being a stepparent, as well as being a stepchild, is not the easiest thing to do. Since I have been on both sides, I can tell you, you have alot to learn. As far as being the stepparent, I love my son, At first it was because I loved his father oh so much, but then we both opened up shared our feeling and our thoughts and now I feel about him, the same way I do towards my biological child.

Try to look at it from her side. Maybe you weren’t real clear about what time you needed to get up. Buy an alarm clock. Of course, if your alarm clock fails to wake you, it’ll probably be her fault.
Frankly, as a parent, I normally blow it off as whining and evasion, when a child tells me they’re too tired to do a chore.
As for your laundry, mistakes happen. I recommend washing your own laundry because you never make mistakes.

Lastly, a closing wish: “May you fall for, and marry a man with a daughter who’s just like you, because you know exactly what bad stepparenting is like. Therefore you’ll do everything correctly, and she’ll never, eeeeever call you a bitch.”

39

shimmery, there’s a couple comments I could make.

First, become as independant as you can. It does work. Get your own alarm clock and wake up to it. Hold yourself responsible for your life. Do your own laundry. Cook your own food. Any of the above. This does a few things, first it makes it so that other people can’t control your own stuff. If you clean your own clothes, your step mom can’t stain them. They can still get stained, but you will have to take that responsibility. You can still be late for school. but its on your shoulders. Its a sense of power and fulfillment once you get it right. Independance feels good.

Secondly, Get an agreement in the house as to what your chores are and when you need to have them done. I was BUSY in high school. I took 16 credits at the University as well as high school classes, plus theatre, choir, yearbook, Model UN, newspaper, and swim team. I worked weekends. I partied Friday and Saturday nights. I could usually total my sleep for three days on my fingers. Naps were my lifesblood, ten minutes on the bus to the magnet school got me through to third hour. Wild days. My mom understood this and gave me assignments on a weekly basis. We’d talk them over.

“Do you think you can cook dinner on Tuesday night and clean the bacement by Sunday morning this week?”
“Yea, I can manage that.”

We got along fine. On my busier weeks, my mom adjusted what I neede to get done at home. When I had time, I did more. My father did not have this understanding. My relationship with my father suffered horribly. (I ejected him from my life thorughout high school. “You may be my father, but I’ll be damned if I let you be my parent.” As adults we’ve ironed things out, but I still don’t see him as a parental figure.)

For your own happiness, iron this stuff out with your stepmom. Get a chore list and deadlines. If its more than you can do (and be reasonable here, put those time management skills to use.) then negotiate it down. be calm, be responsible, be together. Then do what you said you would do. No excuses. If you said that the stairs would be vacuumed before you go out Friday night, make sure it happens, even if you are dragging the vacuum out in yoru party clothes.

Beyond that, don’t let anyone else’s deficiencies bring you down. So she’s a witch, so what? You have places to go, people to see, things to do, and happiness to feel. Do what you have to do, do it well, and get on with your life.

40

And I have a comment to add. I am assuming you are about 15 or 16, since you’re taking PSATs.
As for dealing with someone whom you perceive to be a bitch, well, sorry, but Get Used To It. Deal with it. Learn to cope. That’s life.
You will ALWAYS have to deal with someone who is a bitch or a moron or a bigot or a chauvanist or a lazy slackass. Wait till you get to college. Wait till you get a job. Wait till you get a “real” job after college. Wait till you live on your own and have neighbors. That’s life, baby.