As I type this, I am sitting atop the cushiest pillow I own, with that deep, painful ache throughout the lower half of my body. The tight clenching in my stomach and abdomen is finally starting to relax, and the burning sensation in my pelvis is slowly dissipating. The unbelievably excruciating, sharp, world-encompassing pain that comes only from being hit in the testicles has past, and I am sitting, ignoring the weakness in my legs, and attempting to will the soreness away. All men know this pain, and many mothers have borne it’s type for longer periods of time during childbirth. It is a pain that screams for vengeance.
But, it is a pain I will humbly accept. It is a pain I know will come often in the future, and a pain I will live with.
Because of her.
She’s nearly two years old and the light of my life. The darkest hell becomes Eden when she smiles. The most frustrating day at work, becomes one of the most wonderful nights of my life when she comes up to me, her little lips pursed tight, saying “Kiss, Daddy” and “I luv you.” A little bit of my life seeps away when she goes to sleep, but bursts anew when I hear her cry “MommyDaddy” the next morning, and I get her out of her crib to her delighted cries of “‘mornin’ Daddy.” I can live with this pain.
The incidents started from the very beginning, and has continued without letting up. An ill-placed baby-leg-stretch while I held her in my lap when she was 2 months old. A unwitting, overenthusiastic punch to my crotch while she was learning to crawl. Painful, yes. But usually glancing blows, causing discomfort not crippling pain.
But now she runs. Fast. Recklessly. Straight at me. As I said, she’s now almost two years old. She’s tall for her age, which brings her head, exactly to the height of my . . . . sensitive area where my two little friends reside.
Most of the time, I crouch down as she runs into my arms. However, this time she comes barreling to see me, when I become distracted by a question from my dear wife. The irresistible force of my daughters beautiful head smashed with perfect aim into my immovable objects, and something definitely gave. I immediately crumple to the floor in overwhelming pain. My angelic daughter stares confused as I writhe on the ground, tears flowing, my hands wrapped around my crotchal area. She looks over to Mommy who is also on the ground, but Mommy is laughing hysterically. I can almost read her mind as she decides this is a great new game, so she drops herself to the floor and rolls around with Daddy and Mommy, giggling with pure, unadulterated joy.
I’m in pain.
It is a pain I gladly accept.
It is a small price to pay.
