As to the first … as a male my humble opinion is that you are mistaken in your assumption about males, other that a small subpopulation. Most men do not focus on the size or whatever of their penises. That there is a person who finds such acceptable and enjoyable, sure. But sure in each gender there are those who are fixated on comparing themselves by size with others, men who are dissatisfied with the size of their penises and women with their breasts. Spoiling the rest so it can be avoided by those who wish to, as I am still learning. That some women have become concerned about the appearance of their vulvae, enough that get cosmetic plastic surgery on the labia minora, was a shock to me when I first heard of it, but it is being done more frequently.
As to the second part. Exactly. IF the OP was at all aware of the issues raised in the threads you linked to then posting that thread knowing that is being a jerk. If not then closing it and educating him as to why that Penthouse Rule does not just mean “arousing” and is hopefully to be enforced to a greater degree and with a wider interpretation of what counts under it would be appropriate. He may not mean any disrespect or to make the forum unwelcoming to some and may be ignorant of the fact that threads like that have such an impact (or he could) … but in either case they still do have that impact and that needs to be addressed, as this one was.
Your OP asked not just whether women do or don’t brag about their genitals, but for anecdotes about it. That read to me like a request for stories of a nature we are trying to avoid with the guidelines on sex threads. That is why I closed it. Dr. Crap, based on the discussion here, I have decided to re-open the thread with the admonition that we avoid the story-telling aspect.
The thread was a could-not-make-this-up example of exactly why all the recent threads by women about how male-centric and male-insensitive this board is.
Imagine this. You, a man, are sitting in a room filled with women staring at you. You say, “hey, do women brag about their genitals?”
One says, “No, we do not. It is not something women ever do.” That is the end of the discussion. Period. A very, very short conversation.
Now, imagine you are sitting in a room surrounded by men, men of the same junior-high-school mentality as yourself. You say, “do you guys think women ever brag about their genitals?”
Ha ha ha! What a great discussion that was! Arousing, heck yeah! Funny! Informative? Nosiree, and do we care, heck no!
Now imagine a mixed group of men and women, and asking that question. The women sit there like stumps, feeling totally objectified (because guess what? They are!) and the men have a field day imagining women’s vaginas without any women attached. The fact that no women have spoken means nothing! We’re all having fun! Except for the women, who first singly and then en masse, get up and leave.
ATMB is the forum to discuss the rules and moderation here. It is not the forum to discuss the actual content of threads. Please do not discuss the thread topic itself here unless absolutely necessary to further the discussion about rules and moderation.
If and when it does, the thread can be closed. I would hope the mods don’t act because “they know men”. What is that word that describes when you pre-judge people?
This was a bad call. There was a call to make the board more welcoming to women–threads are still ongoing about the issue and we kept being told that the Mods would listen and try to be more aware. And then we get a thread that would have been laughed out of my junior high locker-room for being too stupid of a discussion.
Yes Asimovian. Two clues that this won’t fit are “women” and “genitals” in the title of the thread. The burden to justify the thread shifts to the OP in this case, not the mod staff. If it is more offensive than probative, then off with it’s head. (the thread, not the OP)
I’m of the belief that most any topic can be discussed on the board (save for things that are prohibited like illegal activity, etc.). That thread is not my cup of tea, but when thinking about whether a topic is allowable, I first think to the abstract, then to the specific. Something like this:
[ol]
[li]Are topics about genitalia allowable? (I’d say yes)[/li][li]Is the answer to the first different if it’s about men vs. women? (I’d say no)[/li][/ol]
If a topic was, do men brag about the size of their penises? I’d say the answer is not all men, but a sizable enough portion that I’d say yes. For those that oppose the thread, is that topic also not okay?
What I’m trying to say, is that when we entertain all manner of discussion, it’s expected that some topics will veer towards sexuality and related topics. It’s a fine line between discussing sexuality and Penthouse writing, but it’s not like the topic was unclear from the title.
It is fine for someone to post a thread about women bragging about their genitalia (something none of the women I socialize with have ever done) but it is verboten to discuss smoking marijuana (something most of the people I socialize with do).
I appreciate all of the comments in here thus far. Just as a heads-up, the thread has been re-closed.
I do think there’s a place for discussion of topics of a sexual nature on this board. In the past, I’ve tried to moderate such threads to keep them from devolving into joke threads because it makes it nearly impossible for people to have a serious discussion. While the nature of the board (for as long as I’ve been around it) has always included jokes and sarcasm at times, even in serious discussions, I think it’s important to recognize that there are some topics where such comments will more easily derail a thread than others.
This morning, when I reviewed the initial thread and this thread, I thought there was a reasonable chance that more serious responses to the OP would prevail. That’s why I re-opened it; it was not intended to be a slap in the face to anyone (DSeid, I am following the other ATMB thread and will try to respond later today). That said, I don’t feel my judgment was correct in hoping that this particular topic was going to work.
When Trump was elected despite the awful things he said and did, I was disappointed in my country because it turns out we are not the people I thought we were. Threads like the one under dispute depress me again, because we are not the community I thought we were. Being white male, I guess so much of it flies under my radar until finally the problem becomes so blatant or the protest is so loud I can’t ignore it. That’s my weakness. I should have seen the extent of the problem way earlier.
The offensive thread will die soon enough I am sure. Sadly I am just as sure a new one will crop up to replace it.
Thanks to all those who have helped open my eyes to the seriousness of the problem.
