My Thread Was Too Arousing

[Sunny_Daze]

@Asimovian

I appreciate all of the comments in here thus far. Just as a heads-up, the thread has been re-closed.

I do think there’s a place for discussion of topics of a sexual nature on this board. In the past, I’ve tried to moderate such threads to keep them from devolving into joke threads because it makes it nearly impossible for people to have a serious discussion. While the nature of the board (for as long as I’ve been around it) has always included jokes and sarcasm at times, even in serious discussions, I think it’s important to recognize that there are some topics where such comments will more easily derail a thread than others.

This morning, when I reviewed the initial thread and this thread, I thought there was a reasonable chance that more serious responses to the OP would prevail. That’s why I re-opened it; it was not intended to be a slap in the face to anyone (DSeid, I am following the other ATMB thread and will try to respond later today). That said, I don’t feel my judgment was correct in hoping that this particular topic was going to work.

I do think that this could have been discussed had the OP wanted discussion. He did not want a serious discussion. He wanted stories, and that was the part that veered into Penthouse territory.

I thought CheshireKat’s response was hilarious. She wins the Internet.

[MrDibble]

@Asimovian

I appreciate all of the comments in here thus far. Just as a heads-up, the thread has been re-closed.

That was a good call.

I do think there’s a place for discussion of topics of a sexual nature on this board.

Fully agreed.

[cochrane]

Good job, Asimovian. Bravo!

[burpo_the_wonder_mutt]

Asimovian, the thread is not closed, as yet.

[DSeid]

@Asimovian

… I do think there’s a place for discussion of topics of a sexual nature on this board.

… it was not intended to be a slap in the face to anyone (DSeid, I am following the other ATMB thread and will try to respond later today). That said, I don’t feel my judgment was correct in hoping that this particular topic was going to work.

I look forward to reading your thoughts.

As with the comments being experienced as misogynistic … the intent is one thing and you are the expert as to that, but its impact is another and, given the discussions ongoing, it is not hard to figure out in advance what that would likely be. Glad you reversed your reversal.

I also think there is a place for discussion of topics of a sexual nature and even some humor about it. In another time I’d have shared that cosmetic labioplasty article in the thread as something of some related interest. Now? Uh uh.

But I do think having a broader application of the Penthouse and Jerk rules are a good idea moving forward.

[Asimovian]

@burpo_the_wonder_mutt

Asimovian, the thread is not closed, as yet.

Hmm. I just looked again it it’s showing closed for me.

Is anyone else seeing it as still open?

[burpo_the_wonder_mutt]

My bad; it’s closed. Brain dead mutt.

[John_Mace]

@Asimovian

This morning, when I reviewed the initial thread and this thread, I thought there was a reasonable chance that more serious responses to the OP would prevail. That’s why I re-opened it; it was not intended to be a slap in the face to anyone (DSeid, I am following the other ATMB thread and will try to respond later today). That said, I don’t feel my judgment was correct in hoping that this particular topic was going to work.

OK. You gave posters a chance, and they couldn’t contain themselves. For what it’s worth, I have no problem with this action even though I applauded your earlier one.

[Broomstick]

@DSeid

As to the first … as a male my humble opinion is that you are mistaken in your assumption about males, other that a small subpopulation. Most men do not focus on the size or whatever of their penises. That there is a person who finds such acceptable and enjoyable, sure. But sure in each gender there are those who are fixated on comparing themselves by size with others, men who are dissatisfied with the size of their penises and women with their breasts.

OK, point taken - not all men are like that.

As to the second part. Exactly. IF the OP was at all aware of the issues raised in the threads you linked to then posting that thread knowing that is being a jerk. If not then closing it and educating him as to why that Penthouse Rule does not just mean “arousing” and is hopefully to be enforced to a greater degree and with a wider interpretation of what counts under it would be appropriate.

As I am not a mod I have zero power to close a thread and explaining/interpreting the rules could be interpreted as junior modding, so the second part of your suggestion is not terribly helpful.

He may not mean any disrespect or to make the forum unwelcoming to some and may be ignorant of the fact that threads like that have such an impact (or he could) … but in either case they still do have that impact and that needs to be addressed, as this one was.

Even if disrespect or offense was unintended it can still occur. I did find his OP and even the title of this thread mildly offensive and stated my opinion which I do not think is an opinion held only by myself.

If I had had the ability I would have kept this thread closed.

[Fenris]

@Asimovian

This morning, when I reviewed the initial thread and this thread, I thought there was a reasonable chance that more serious responses to the OP would prevail. That’s why I re-opened it; it was not intended to be a slap in the face to anyone (DSeid, I am following the other ATMB thread and will try to respond later today). That said, I don’t feel my judgment was correct in hoping that this particular topic was going to work.

I appreciate you closing the thread again, but in my opinion, the fact that the OP thought the thread was “arousing”? Right there, it disqualified the thread from reasonable discourse.

[DSeid]

@Broomstick

… As I am not a mod I have zero power to close a thread and explaining/interpreting the rules could be interpreted as junior modding, so the second part of your suggestion is not terribly helpful. … Even if disrespect or offense was unintended it can still occur. …

It was an expressed hope of how mods will enforce going forward, not a wish for you to do it. This is ATMB and mod actions on this thread can be a learning opportunity for going forward.

Completely agree that disrespect and offense can occur even when not intended.

So for example, I take offense at your statement about “the tendency of men” … to “focus on their own genitals”, even with a “not all” qualification. You may not have intended to cause offense but it is an offensive thing to say. Substitute say “Black” said by a white male and see how it sounds. It’s playing to a similar offensive stereotype in both cases.

I get that females experience that taking of offense here much more than I do, likely by orders of magnitude. Most pertinent to the broader subject though what is different about me taking offense as a male is however the simple reality that my offense taken is not resulting in harm to this board’s long term health. So really, for many reasons, my taking offense should be something I should be able to and of course can handle.

But you too can think before you post. We all can and should.

[Measure_for_Measure]

@Fenris

I appreciate you closing the thread again, but in my opinion, the fact that the OP thought the thread was “arousing”? Right there, it disqualified the thread from reasonable discourse.

With respect, I think O Poster said the opposite:

@Dr.Crap

Learning and laughter, this time about sexuality. I’ve been on the dope for over a decade and not once have I thought to use it as an aphrodesiac. It seems antithetical.

I want(ed) to know because I’m a man who doesn’t know how women brag amongst themselves. I know what men say about women, and what they think will really make an impact on their chances for success with them. I don’t know about the other side, and I would like to rid myself of that doubt and ignorance.

The confusion seems to have stemmed from not realizing that a thread can trend Penthouse without being especially arousing. Because locker-room.

[BigT]

I also want to applaud Asimovian for their moderating, in all three instances: the initial lock to discuss, the unlock to see if it would go okay, and then relock when it didn’t. I had considered writing a PM, but then I remembered this thread.

[Helena330]

I don’t applaud Asimovian. I’m pissed off. I can’t believe that with the discussions we’ve had recently that unlocking such an objectifying thread was even under consideration.

This shit wins. I’m flouncing. It will be temporary, probably only a few days, but I can’t take this anymore.

[Siam_Sam]

So in general, you can prick your finger but not finger your prick.

[engineer_comp_geek]

Moderator Note

@Siam_Sam

So in general, you can prick your finger but not finger your prick.

I assume that you were trying to be amusing, but let’s not have comments like this in ATMB, especially given the current topics of discussion.

[I_can_t_think_of_a_name]

@Beckdawrek

Because I know men. You’re not gonna be satisfied with “No we don’t brag about body parts” It will move into off color jokes and snarky responses. Bragging about body parts is a guy thing. No, we don’t brag or compare. I don’t think I have ever met a woman who did. YMMV.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a man who bragged about the size of his penis. Not seriously, not an actual brag. Joking with ridiculous exaggeration, yes. Covering fear of inadequacy, yes. But not actually bragging.

You don’t know men. Nobody knows several billion people. You know a collection of simplistic stereotypes that you have labelled “men”. Which is very fashionable nowadays.

I don’t doubt that many men search online for information about penis size. The most common motivations would be insecurity, fear and seeking reassurance. Privately, of course, hence the use of the net. It’s not wise for a man to admit any weakness. He risks being ridiculed and/or accused of misogyny for challenging the dominant belief that problems only matter if a woman is affected.

I’ll admit it now, because I’m older, less normal and more anonymous. I spent years worrying my penis was too small. Hardly surprising, given social conditioning on the subject, but back then I didn’t have the wisdom or knowledge to counter it. I wish I had had the internet to search more anonymously, but in those days the web didn’t exist and neither did personal access to the net - it was a thing for universities, research facilities and suchlike. I would have looked for information on the net if I could have done.

Is that bragging? Does it mean that I’m not a man or not a real man or a failure as a man?

[Beckdawrek]

You are correct, I don’t know all men. I know a few. I have brothers, a son and a husband. Have you ever been to a deer camp? Mostly the comments are joking. But it’s worse than harsh, it’s downright demeaning to men as well as women. It just a bad idea. If course this is just my opinionYMMV.