I’m tempted to suggest “painting” the crib rails with hot sauce, and letting that work as a bit of aversion therapy.
the problem is that toddlers GRAB, too, so that he’ll get the stuff on his hands, then transfer it to his mouth, or eyes. Rather reducing the aversion factor. sigh
NO! NO!
Hot Sauce can burn your mouth, & the poor little thing won’t have access to milk or water!! :eek:
Use half of a freshly-cut onion. It has a very strong flavor, but won’t burn.
I have an analphyitic reaction to peppers, so I’m not about to try this.
Hot sauce is also very, uh, EXTREME, especially for a young toddler. This is why I was thinking bitter apple spray. It’s yucky, but doesn’t burn.
Between that and the diaper pail, our nursery will smell very, uh, unique.
Just reading the title, I was going to say “Give him a mirror and a picture of a hamster, and have him sort it out for himself.”
</Douglas Adams>
I’ll admit I was thinking mild hot sauce, not Tobasco, nor yet Dave’s Insanity. And, I was thinking of it from my days of treating a dog with a ‘hotspot’ at the base of his tail. At the age of a toddler, they think much the same way that a pet may. And so such methods seem best for reaching them.
If you’re willing to try other concoctions, I’d suggest peppermint, or spearmint oils. (The good stuff, not the cheap stuff - it will still sting, I’m afraid.)
And anything short of what I called “field expedient fingerpaints” is acceptable when dealing with the smells about toddlers, I’m afraid. So, the onion idea has merit, I think.
Bitter apple spray is still something you don’t want to get in his eyes.
Time to chuck the crib. Start scanning the classifieds and grocery-boards for a used toddler bed, plastic. If keeping him in his room during sleepytime is paramount, get a plastic gate for the door as well.
We moved Wolfie out of the crib and onto a mattress on the floor at this age (he’d been in a hammock until 8 months, then a crib for five months) and are working on moving to a full sized twin bed by the time he hits 30 months or so.
And if a toddler bed is out of the question (there is some expensive $250 one with all kinds of “roll off resistance” rails on amazon) consider moving him to a pack and play with a mattress? All padded rails and he can’t really strip those.
Tell him he can have “teeth time” (I am sure he could understand that at 14 months, correct?) and let him go to town on some hard foods before placing him in his crib.
Discuss the repercussions of what could happen to his teeth in a fantastical way that a child could understand. Bibliotherapy, etc. Make up your own story.
Finally, encourage him to be a “big boy” and participate actively in step 1, like other “big boys” do that “you know.”
This has worked with other families I have worked with, good luck.
Sefronia
mama’s worry was a burden
they had seen her everywhere
and since her little one was now a dead man
they patted his back
and she thought
why did she let them?
Sefronia777.com
Let’s evolve together
Oh, he sounds adorable, but just *very *high-maintenance. Your kid’s stories are the only ones I read on the boards. I don’t have any kids of my own, and am not particularly interested in the little rugrats, but your kid is very entertaining. 
I think this may be the only real solution that doesn’t involve rubbing bitter, hot, or oniony stuff all over your furniture. Chances are Inkletoddler would probably develop a taste for the onion or the bitter apple taste!*
Also, is he gnawing the tops of the rails and headboards while standing up? If so, this is even further reason, imo, to start looking at other sleeping arrangements. Once any of my boys started to gnaw while standing, trying to climb or leap out wasn’t far behind.
*Kids like weird flavors. My middle child loved anything sour or bitter. He would drink vinegar. My youngest loved hot salsa by one year old. He hated the chips, though, so he would get his own little bowl to dip his fingers.
Around here, being a mom = :dubious: :rolleyes: :eek: :o :mad: 
in rapid succession, daily.
His name is Tinkleberry.
I would think that was anywhere. See, and who says smileys aren’t useful?
Once you reach the age where you start processing wood to pulp, it’s time for a new, big-boy nickname. 
I was a bed chewer and as I recall, it tasted bad already. Sort of like acetone. I chewed for the sensation. That, coupled with my sister’s thumbsucking despite icky things being put on it lead me to believe that this is not the answer. Metal might be the answer. Or reinforce the the padding with toddlerproof zip ties. Provided he doesn’t have a pocket knife in his diaper, he can’t get them off.
I did recently get my cat to stop destroying carpet by using a spray with rosemary extract bitter spray, though, so there may be hope.
Is he related to Sunny Baudelaire by chance?
It does sound like it’s getting dangerous–I second either the plastic toddler bed or movin’ on up (with metal siderails) to Big Boy stuff.
Of course, he may just give up naps entirely with the new bed… :eek:
If he’s just chewing the tops of stuff then cap them with aluminum. If he chews through that then get him an agent.
You nailed it- it’s the top of the headboard. The rails could just have rail guards glued on, but we went in after his nap today and found him nibbling yet again at the very top of the headboard, which can’t be covered. We’ve found he gnaws post nap and when he first wakes up in the AM.
He is currently, as of two minutes ago, 33" tall. Which means he has only 2" left to grow before it’s dangerous, anyway.
You also nailed the weird taste thing. At 4 mos. he crawled over and swiped a bit of horseradish mustard from my plate before I could stop him. Now at 13 mos. he eats it straight if we let him. I have only myself to blame- I ate a LOT of horseradish during pregnancy.
Given his height, we are strongly considering a twin bed straightaway, but even with rails I worry about him tumbling out or escaping when he does not desire sleep. But I guess a head knot once or twice is better than throat splinter removal or stomach pumping or developing a beozar or something horrible.
Yeah, that’s what it seems we’re gonna do. Some of the damage can be seen here. Oscar is a stand in for the kid. He’s a couple inches shorter, but one gets the idea.
It’s from:
Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. The youngest baby, Sunny Baudeleire, is a “biter” and bites everything. Really adorably cute kids, all three of them. I highly recommend the movie, as the eldest girl is utterly charming.
So, lets just suppose that a kid, not me mind you, but a hypothetical kid, who is like, ohhh eight years old, and he, not me, chews on the headboard of his bed, gnawing off hunks in the night.
Is that weird?