And Zsofia is lying about her symptoms anyway. Everybody lies. 
Oh, god, I hope nobody breaks into my house. It’s a disgusting mess. They’ll probably conclude I have the-cat-peed-on-something-and-we-can’t-find-it-itis.
I think the diagnostic criteria here is that coughing fit = lung cancer but bloody cough is consumption.
Don’t forget:
Nose bleed= brain tumor
Sneeze= flu
I hate idiosyncratic nausea. My low level anxiety disorder liked to manifest via nausea and stomach pain for years and it’s so irritating. I keep a steady supply of Bonine in the house.
Good catches.
And, of course, the ever popular
sneeze = apocalyptic virus
On House, there’s also “I think I just crapped my pants” = gallons of rectal bleeding, but I guess that’s kind of specific.
The doctor’s running liver and H. pylori tests, but she thinks it’s my gallbladder and wants me to have an ultrasound ASAP. I’m just glad that she’s concerned and that it isn’t dumb for me to call the doctor for a stummyache.
It’s never dumb to go to the doctor for a pain like that. Hope it’s fixed soon!
Peptic ulcer, my friend. Peptic ulcer. You’ll probably be on acid reducers soon.
ETA: Always Brings Pie, the acid reducers have fixed my chronic nausea problem, too.
Inflating tummy sounds like extra gas, which would definitely point to the gallbladder possibility. One of my friends just had her gallbladder out and is hoping for reduced gas in the very near future…
More good thoughts headed your way.
GT
Glad you’re seeing the doc. In the interim - I don’t think Tums has gas relief built in; you could either switch to an antacid that has simethicone as an additional ingredient, or just plain simethicone (Gas-X is one brand). I too have intermittent tummy pains, from all evidence just gas, and that often gives relief (and yes, I too discussed this with the doctor).
I’ll try the Gas-X - nothing else has worked at ALL. No Tums, no nothin’ - it doesn’t even touch it. I’d think an ulcer would at least be a little bit put off by some Tums action.
I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow, and I had to call and do all this preregistration stuff - I did it at my desk instead of asking to use somebody’s office because I thought it would just be name rank and serial number, you know? Hell, no! Twenty minutes of personal-ass questions like what religious denomination I am. Why, are they going to baptize the gallstones if I don’t make it? Make sure they’re circumsized? Do I have a medical power of attorney for my ultrasound? Jesus Christ, what kind of ultrasound is this?!
Maybe they want to see if your gallbladder is holy. 
Honey, they want to know if they should call a priest of you’re dying on the table.
Cheerful news, I know.
Feel better soon.
What kind of ultrasound business are they running in that hospital? Perhaps I could get strangled by the cord of the wandy thing?
I dunno, I think it could still be an ulcer. Mine has been acting up lately, and I can chug down half a bottle of Pepto Bismol and it still hurts. In some ways you’d be better off if it is gallstones - have those puppies out and be done with it.
Dang…I understand them asking about religious denomination in case something goes terribly wrong during a surgery, but an ultrasound? I am baffled.
Anyway, please do check in with us here when you find something out.
I just remembered a nasty bout of abdominal pain years ago that turned out to be a case of mucopurulent cervicitis. And I had done nothing to bring it on.
Just mentioning a mostly unknown and remote possibility.
I know what all the parts of “mucupurulent” mean, but frankly I just don’t quite feel like putting them together with regards to my own cervix. 
There’s a blood test for it. Positive identification requires a biopsy. Can cause all sorts of unpleasant GI symptoms/problems.
I would SO much rather have surgery than live without gluten.
The religion question is because certain ethnic groups, most of whom belong to specific religions, have higher incidence of some ailments than the remainder of the population.