Not once in my life has anyone ever told me I smelled. People seem to line up to point out every other perceived flaw however so that leads me to believe that I do not smell in that way. My armpits do smell faintly of vagina however. You are correct that I haven’t done enough cross-checking. I lack a good verification mechanism at the moment. I just started with my current company a few months ago. I don’t think it would be appropriate to ask there. Family is also out because it might raise other questions. It is just my dirty little secret. Speaking of which, I bet Secret would be the best cure there is if I wanted one.
Crook #1: OK, we’ve blown the safe. Let’s grab the stuff and go!
Crook #2: What! What’s that smell?
Crook #1: Hey! You know what that smells like? (turns) Hey, babe…
Crook #2: Oh, no! It’s V-Man!!
Take off and nuke the armpits from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure.
: snif :
Hmm. Smells like a goddamned whorehouse in here. Oh! Hi, Shag!
In my experience there are stages of smell that we can associate with said regions before a shower is a necessity. At what stage would you say your armpits currently are? And if you refrain from stinking them up with something else, I wonder if the smell will in fact deteriorate similarly.
People rarely say to other people “my god! you stink!”, it’s really hard to say such a thing without giving offense so your average person will just wrinkle up their nose and try to get away from you as soon as possible. Watch for tell tale signs, do you notice people’s eyes watering or noses wrinkling when they are near you? Do they seem to cover their noses and mouths for some reason, like yawning or coughing then leaving their hand over their mouth and nose, while they talk to you? Do they look around frantically for an excuse to get away from you? Do they start gasping and then run to an open window or the bathroom to retch in the toilet? Do they turn blue?
All of these could be signs that you do indeed stink.
I’m with Renee on this one.
Do you have a lump at the top of each armpit that feels good when you rub it?
The little man in the pit? 
People!
That smell is a GOOD smell!
Well, I and about 3 billion other men think so.
If you need some extra money, you could always be a good man, take one for the team and make the rounds at your local penitentary and let the inmates bang your armpits.
Yes, you’re welcome for that image.
…
And 10 years later we find out that Shagnasty has been in a polyamorous relationship with both of his pits.
^ this
Could the OP be attempting to trick people into licking his armpits I wonder?
Yes, Shag, after 10 years we need an update.
And great screen name / thread combo.
There once was a man from Nantucket.
Whose armpit smelled so nice he 'd fuck it.
He said with a grin.
As he straightened his back again.
If I could twist just right I take the other one and suck it.
Skip the mouthwash for awhile and keep us updated.
Sad Update:
Cherry (left) and Savannah (right) were doing quite well for a few months when I first wrote the OP. It was a beautiful relationship that required nothing but a sniff and an acknowledgement every now and again. Then I had to take a business trip and they lost my baggage and toiletries for a night and had to switch over to hotel soap. I didn’t realize the implications at the time but I now refer to it as the Irish Spring much like the recent Middle Eastern uprisings. Savannah fell immediately but Cherry held on for a few days before she also succumbed. I miss them deeply and think of them often.
Please bow your head in a moment of remembrance.
The truth of the matter is that Shagnasty was dumped by the guy who was spooging in his pits when finishing their threesomes.