My Wallyesque morning so far...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

While walking down the outside set of stairs that leads from her second story apartment to the ground this morning, a groggy Swiddles was momentarily caught off guard by a spiderweb and its inhabitant. Raised in the country, it takes a lot to gross out ole’ Swiddles, but a spider on her face at 7:30 in the morning, before any caffeine has entered her body, apparently was quite enough. Flailing wildly, Swiddles managed to knock the spider in the approximate distance of Canada, and destroy the invisible sticky web that had afixed to her face. She grumpily continued down the set of stairs and turned the corner to her car to realise that her neighbor, who runs a day care, and one of the parents of one of her charges, were both standing wide mouthed staring at her.

At least Wally only managed to embarrass himself in front of strangers.

THEN I get into work this morning, and the computer tech is testing out a new server printer. As I am the only pseudo-geek in the office, we get along well. So he asked me to send something to the printer. I switch to my Notes, and send off something, and he comes around to look at my monitor to make sure that there are no error messages. Meanwhile, I have a note entitled “Letter of Resignation” sitting in my in-box from my boss, commending me on a nicely written – guess what? Letter of resignation. Now, I would have just seen it, and kept it to myself, later discussing it with my coworkers, spreading rumor like wildfire. However, Chris is an upstanding fellow who said, quite without malice “Letter of Resignation?” I paused, considered making something up, and told him the truth, that I was going back to school in the fall and it hadn’t been announced yet. I have never seen anyone so horrifically embarrased in my life. He just kept apologizing. Oy. So now I get to tell everyone I work with sooner than I had anticipated, because I wasn’t smart enough to hit the freakin’ delete button. (it was marked for deletion and everything…)

It’s 8:40 AM. How is everyone else’s day going?

2

Oh, I hear ya, Friggin’Spittle. The times I have pressed “F9” just a second too late are countless. That reminds me: I’ve GOT to tell my friends to stop sending me email messages with subject headers like “Free Blowjobs!”. Of course, they’re only doing this to get me into trouble. Usually the message itself reads something like “Dude! Fired yet? How’s about a beer at 6 o’clock??”.

Don’t even get me started on the subject headers on some of these mails I receive from Evil Canuck SDMB Wimmin.

3

“Evil Canuck SDMB Wimmin”?

a bit redundant eh…?

<ducking and running from Sue>

4

Swiddles, just think of me this morning, and perhaps you’ll be glad it was just a spider web and small bit of embarrasment. and Lily Taylor’s not good enough. That should put a smile on your face. :wink:
I’m off to be the consoling big brother and only son of the family this afternoon, waking up this morning hurt horribly. i’ve really got to find a way of getting on with my days without having to do that waking up thing every morning. The going to sleep thing is fun, but waking up is such a drag. That and there are nights i could really use some sunlight. Hope the rest of the day goes swell.

5

Swiddles, well its past midnight and my day has just begun. I sometimes feel like one of the “mole people”. I have been working 3rd shift for 3 years now. For the longest time it did not bother me, I was young and did not require much sleep. In the past 4 months or so its all started to unravel. Insomnia has become a bulldog on my butt - it won’t let me go. In one month I turn 28 and this lifestyle is certainly catching up with me. I have started to feel as if I have a perpetual “buzz”. Who needs drugs when you have sleep deprivation ? Tried melatonin, tried alcohol, tried exercise . . . I just toss and turn. I wonder what Wally would do.

What was that spider thinking anyway ? He’s gonna need a much stronger web to catch you !

Back to work . . .

6

Good job, Swiddles! Killed any rodents yet?

You should have told the guy “Yeah, I was writing it for you, 'cause they didn’t have the heart to tell you that you are being forced to resign…just sign at the bottom and clean out your desk.”
But you’re not that evil (are you?)

7

Swiddles, you might get a kick out of what happened to me a while ago.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28348

8

It wasn’t a spider this morning. This morning, my darling Siamese cat, the creature who greets me when I return home with a heartfelt “Meeeerrrrowwww!” Decided at 3:30 in the morning that she was lonely. So she jumped on me, and proceeded to rub herself all over my face. I woke up with a hairy face at 3:30 A.M., and proceeded to remove, none-to-gently, my cat from my face. Apparently, this annoyed her, because an hour and a half later (how is it that a cat knows how long it takes me to fall into REM?) she’s headbutting my face to express how much she adores me. While I am fond of her also, I am even more fond of that last half hour of sleep. So I once again remove her from my face.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. The little furry snot was hungry or thirsty. I, in my role as cat-mother, had failed. Wrong. I checked the food and water bowls, and they were both full. The cat just wanted to snuggle. When I got up at 6:30, puffy eyes and scratchy voice and all (from screaming at the cat to shut the hell up, I imagine,) she happily hopped down from the windowsill and did the “I’ll weave in and out of your legs until you fall like a tree in the forest trick.” THEN she successfully escapes through my feet out the door, and books it down the stairs into the yard. All of this before I had eaten breakfast (and I missed dinner last night because I locked my keys in my car…again. AAA and a cell-phone sure come in handy…), before I had splashed cold water into my red and puffy eyes, before I had woken up fully.

I am not talking to my cat at the moment.

Hey, NothingMan, have you seen Fight Club? If you meet a guy named Tyler Durden, be VERY wary… (I can sympathise, I get insomnia a lot, too.)

And Monster, give me a high-five, my neck-spasm brotha! Mine went out about a month ago, I couldn’t look left. Made checking my blind spot in traffic an adventure…

And these are the days of MY life…