It’s not just us females that do this. My husband has expressed a little irritation with me after he had a dream that I cheated on him. But it didn’t last long and we laughed about it later too.
I’ll admit - and acknoledge to her all the time - that she does way more housework than I do. But she’s the one who chose to be a stay-at-home mom. Neither of us would want to switch :).
My ex-wife once had the shits with me for days because she dreamed that I had fucked her best friend. It was hard to deal with because I really wanted to laugh in her face but at the same time had to pretend that it was a real problem.
True Dat.
I also enjoy telling the Mrs. her beef isn’t with Me, it’s with “Dream Me”. Dream Me has a tendency to be a real jerk, cheating, walking out on her, moving across the country for no reason, cancelling our wedding (he also apparently has a time machine). If anybody shouldn’t get sex tonight, it’s HIM.
Of course he’s probably going to wind up in a threesome with Mila Kunis and a fictional, but extremely hot, neighbor…
I don’t like him either.
This is exactly why I tell my husband that I’m mad at the dream version of him. Or rather, warn him. I do need some time to let those anger chemicals work their way out of my system.
If I’m going to be pissy to my husband, I figure that it’s only fair that it’s for something he’s actually done. Not something that I imagined that he did. Yeah, sometimes stuff from real life leaks into my dreams, but I’ve dreamed about all kinds of stuff that never happened. I’ve dreamed that I was a Martian, and other sorts of extraterrestrials. I’ve dreamed that I was male. I’ve dreamed that I was neither male nor female, but some other sex entirely. For the most part, my dreams are just figments of my fevered imagination.
Many eons ago, my boyfriend was quitting smoking and was having bad dreams. He dreamed that I had gotten mad at him and shot him (even though I had never held a gun at that point in my life). He went to his mother and complained that I shot him. His mother then poked him in the bullet hole and bitched him out for pissing me off.
He was mad at BOTH of us for the rest of the day. Of course, I suspect it’s because we both laughed at him and his mother told him it served him right for pissing dream-me off! 
I never understood that reaction. It should be the person who was dreamed about who’s angry, if anyone. The person doing the dreaming is the one coming up with the scenario.
Of course, no one should be mad. It’s hard to believe anyone could actually get angry because they had a dream. Are the people who legitimately get mad at people just not that bright or what?
My partner and I often try to remember our dreams - to share them with one another first thing after waking up, and it is kind of a ritual. But the other morning I woke up dreaming about an old boyfriend, and being on some kind of adventure with him, instead of my significant other. So when I was asked if I remembered my dream, I just said “no” so as not to stir up any weird feelings between us.
Your wife is mad at you for something else, that’s why she had the dream. In three days in the middle of making dinner together, she will snap at you to not throw knives into the sink and the issue will be resolved.
I never dream about my husband pissing me off. I’m a bitch.
Tell her that in your dream, you wife said it was ok for you to have sex with that woman from work.
I’ve woke up with murder in my eyes and vengence in my heart.
The only morning words I can manage to my husband are You have no idea what kind of an asshole you can be.
Sure, dreams swirl in your coffee like cream and disapate, but still…
the day goes on. I stuff dirty clothes in the washer, do paperwork, enjoy myself (read, write, whatever…)
Later that evening after pouring a vodka I finally concede Okay. I know you didn’t really do it.
But I wouldn’t put it past you.
That’s the closest I can get to a truce.
Reason #343 not to get married, ever.
Seriously? But you’re the one who HAD the dream. The dream represents hostility/anger on YOUR part.
I just don’t understand how someone could stay married to a person who actually gets angry over a dream…it just sounds too much like being married to a five year old.
Calling all people with a sense of humor…
At least I haven’t left a bruise.
I’ve done this once or twice with my boyfriend, though never for an extended period of time. I’ll wake up mad at him, and when the not-crazy side of me reminds me that he didn’t really do anything, I still can’t quite shake the anger…which only makes me angrier, because I’m mad at myself for not being able to let it go!
After I’m fully awake this typically dissipates, though. And I’ve yet to actually yell at my boyfriend for the things he did in my dreams.
I’ve found this issue fascinating, and just had a Great Thought which explains a lot of it, although on rereading the thread I see it’s something of a variation on what Little Nemo has already posted. But perhaps different enough to post it anyway (more below).
As I see it, any two people living together are going to have low grade irritations simmering in the background at all times. But they can also have a lot of positives going on at the same time, and the relationship can be a good one nonetheless. But the important point is that a person’s interpretation of their spouse/partner’s actions can be dependent on their view of the overall relationship, and in turn, the view of the overall relationship can be dependent on mood, which can be set off by one incident.
So imagine for example a guy who forgets his wife’s birthday. Besides for being disappointed that he forgot her birthday, she’s worked up about the broader issue of what this says about how important she and their relationship is to him, and so on. And once thinking along these lines, she can then summon up 20 other incidents which similarly call his commitment and focus into question, and she then proceeds to brood about the entire issue. Thing is that those incidents are in the past, and she knew about them prior to the latest birthday-forgetting, but she was not focused on them and was perhaps interpreting them more charitably as well. The incident with the birthday causes her to focus on these matters and look at them with a less forgiving eye.
And the point is that all this still holds true even if the birthday forgetting would happen in a dream. Even if she knows that this incident never happened, the other 20 incidents did happen, and if her mood is now such that she’s prone to interpreting them in a bad light and to brooding about them, then that could still happen just as much as if the birthday incident actually happened. So she can still be irritated at her husband even knowing that he didn’t forget her birthday because she’s still feeling insecure WRT his love based on the other incidents and overall relationship which are real. And so on.
[As noted, this is similar to what Little Nemo posted earlier. But ISTM that his point was more about the notion that the fact that she had this dream is itself evidence that the guy must have some failing. What I’m saying is that the dream itself is evidence of nothing but that it can trigger feelings which have actual basis and depend on subjective interpretation.]
This is why it’s a Very Good Idea©™ to not “keep score” in relationship. If both people keep score of the irritations, after a few months the score will stand at 34,387 to 5. The only point of contention will be who owns the 5.
The mature thing to do is refuse to keep score. Either decide the behavior doesn’t bother you, and force yourself to make that stick in your own head, or discuss the issue calmly and have them stop the behavior because they accept that it’s a bigger deal to you than to them and you’re both trying to live an irritation-free life.
And don’t get in a relationship with somebody unable or unwilling to be mature like this.
zombie or no
imagine the dreams you don’t remember.
This has happened to me a few times. My human brain knows my husband didn’t do whatever awful thing I dreamed, but my lizard brain is still pissed. I just tell him I had a dream where he was a dick and then actively try to avoid him until the feelings pass. He understands.
Of course, when the dream goes the other way and I wake up all hot and bothered, he doesn’t mind that at all either.
Just celebrated 35 years with the missus.
There have been a couple of times she has been pissed at me because of something I did in one of her dreams.
One time it was really bad. She was mumbling & stomping around the house all day even after I comforted her and assured her I wouldn’t do what I did in her skull in real life.
After a couple of hours of this I got irritated and yelled “you’re mad at me because of something you’re own brain thought up? Are you nuts?”
THAT…DID…NOT…HELP!:smack: