I was having a dream in which I was fighting off an attacker and woke up just as I landed a (very light) blow just between her shoulder-blades. I must have been between REM sleep and just starting to wake up.
For her part, she rolled over, tapped me on the nose and then told me to go let the cats out. She thought I was trying to initiate a morning ‘quickie’ before the kids woke up.
Very weird feeling, as far as I know thats the first time I’ve ever done anything like it (though I have a had a few odd hypnagogic experiences.
I remember a long time ago when my son was just a baby, my then wife was laying on the bed holding baby above her. Well, she slipped and baby’s head landed right on the bridge of her nose giving her two black eyes.
You would not believe the number of people who gave me the stink eye after the fact. And these were long time friends of mine suspiciously looking at me like I was some kind of wife beater.
They never actually said anything to me but still.
How long you been married? In our 34 years my wife and I have beat the shit out of each other in our sleep. She’s thumped me in the guts and face with an elbow, and kicked me in the shin with the Jimmy legs. I’ve rolled over and clunked our heads together or rolled my arm or shoulder over on her boob.
Doesn’t happen a lot, but as the years go by the instances add up.
Wife runs when she feels me starting to fight a bear.
I ofter kick bad guys off the scaffolding I am escaping up or they are chasing me up. Wife really hates this but it is second to a headlock… She is gonna shoot me some day.
My husband used to have very, er, dynamic dreams. He also likes to sleep on his side, facing me, with one hand on or just under my pillow. I’ve been bonked in the head more than once. It’s never been painful or left a mark, but the sudden jolt always wakes me.
When we were first married, there were more and slightly more vigorous episodes, and he thinks they were dreams about his tour at Gitmo (this was early 80s, back when the commies were still in Cuba.) He alluded to some stuff that had happened there, including the incident that landed him in the hospital and nearly killed him, so I’m guessing it was a bit of PTSD. Fortunately, that’s far enough in the past that I don’t think he even thinks about Gitmo any longer.
As for me, I don’t think I’ve ever flailed in my sleep, altho there have been times when I’ve awakened in a rasslin’ match with my blankets, so who knows?
A few years ago my wife had a very bad case of bronchitis and managed to cough so hard that she cracked a rib. I got a lot of dirty looks from friends who clearly didn’t believe her.
Several years back I was having a very vivid dream in which Oprah Winfrey and I were in a heated argument. I must have been making some kind of noise because when I wound up to deliver a haymaker to Oprah, my wife was awake enough to get an arm in front of her face and stop it from connecting.
It was a serious move too, she had a bruise on her forearm for a couple weeks. People would ask how she got it and she’d tell them that she jumped in front of me to stop me from punching Oprah in the face. Which technically WAS the truth.
Just last week, my girlfriend rolled over in her sleep and her uppermost arm slingshotted around to clout me - about half an inch from my testicles. I was reading and just saw her arm arc around in time to reflexively move out of the way, or else it could have been a painful moment, followed by her waking up because of my howl of agony. I’m quite glad I was awake and able to move; the other outcome is too terrible to contemplate.
Few years back, my boss started getting me into weight lifting in a big way. Our routine was to hit the gym three times a week in the mornings and I was starting to feel the progress.
So one evening I’m sitting on the sofa with my girlfriend and I doze off and start dreaming about doing the shoulder press. I had that first bit of resistance before I got the weights off the rack, and then when I extended my arms upwards, clocked my girlfriend in the chin. Didn’t leave a bruise or anything, but it did minorly piss her off.
She still brings it up from time to time when she wants to tease/guilt trip me. We’ve been married for close to 5 years now.
heh, I have my first shiner right now. My granddaughter accidentally hit me in the eye with her forehead just the other day. Everyone at work was sort of tiptoeing around it for a few minutes. It’s been amusing.
I have what I call “chase dreams,” in which I’m James Bond, for lack of a better name. Once I was trying to escape on a hot air balloon and was halfway up the rope ladder, with the bad guy just below me. I tried to kick him, but he didn’t drop off… I kicked him again, and my wife said “hey…” I kicked a third time and realized I was kicking her in the shin.
Middle son was sitting on my wife’s lap and suddenly whipped his head back and whacked her face, giving her quite a shiner.
We took him in for a well baby check about a week later. The doctor was much more interested in her. Turns out that he had actually fractured her cheek bone. It didn’t occur to me until just now that he might have been suspecting abuse.
I’ve had hypnic jerks all my life, although they are diminishing in frequency in my old age. My wife was startled the first time, because she had never had one, nor ever even heard of it. Then she started, sympathetically, having her own.
Actually, I enjoy them, I feel afterwards an almost orgasmic release. Sometimes I’ll have several in the space of a few minutes. Hypnic jerks.
She also has night-terrors, which are much worse, but I have not joined that parade. One night in Ecuador, she had one, and jumped out of bed and ran screaming out of the hotel room onto the mezzanine. Humility was had by all.
Years ago, my dog would sometimes jump on the bed after the wife (now ex) left for work. Our schedules were such that she was up and out, and I could still grab another hour or so of sleep. Anyway, Chelsea the Labrador Retriever would jump up for a little nap time with Dad.
One morning she was apparently chasing rabbits in her sleep, and at some point a foreleg shot out and popped me right in the eye. No one believed that my resulting shiner came from getting sucker punched by my dog.
My son has beaten me and my wife in his sleep, he has landed crotch hits hard enough to wake me out of a dead sleep and once somehow got my wife right in the tit hard enough she woke up screaming. He just starts moving in his sleep and it goes on for minutes.
Seriously I’m thinking of getting a cup, and I’ve never played team sports.
