First, the backstory:
My roommate and I moved to NYC a few months ago. It is awesome, but one of the downsides is the lack of central air. We bought a window unit and a couple of fans, and that helped considerably. However, my roommate’s room is on the other side of the apartment from the window unit, so her room is forever sweltering, even with a fan. For a few days she slept in there and woke covered in sweat and nauseous from the heat. Then for a few days she slept on the couch, which is much closer to the AC but not comfy for long term sleeping arrangements. We finally figured that while it is so incredibly hot she can sleep in my bed with me, since I have a queen sized bed and it is cool and comfy in my room. Better temperature, better back support, and it is only for a little while so no big deal. I don’t mind sharing my bed at all. Sharing isn’t a problem and seems to be working out well, except for one small thing…
About 2 weeks ago we woke up and started getting ready to go our jobs and she kind of looked at me and said, “Do you remember what you did last night?” I looked at her blankly and said, “Sleep?” She then proceeds to tell me as tactfully as possible that I was masturbating in my sleep. She says she asked me what I was doing and tried to talk to me for a minute but I wouldn’t respond and occasionally snored so she knew I was asleep. I kind of laughed and explained that people don’t generally do that kind of thing in their sleep, and that I was probably itchy or adjusting my jammies. She says that it’s doubtful because she is sure of what she saw, but either way it doesn’t bother her because it’s not like she wasn’t aware that I occasionally do that kind of thing, she just was suprised that I could do that and be completely unaware of it.
We let the subject drop and continued with the sleeping arrangements. No harm, no foul after all. I still thought she was making it up, but whatever. Then last night at about 4 in the morning I wake up to the bed shaking like we are having an earthquake or something. I sit up and look around for a second, trying to figure out what is going on. I roll over and put my hand on her side, thinking she must be violently ill or having a charlie horse or something before it dawns on me that she is masturbating. Like, hardcore masturbating. I quickly pull my hand away and say, “Dude, I am so sorry. I wasn’t aware you did that kind of thing after I went to sleep!” She didn’t respond at all though. In fact, I could tell she was still asleep, but just happened to be taking care of business, so to speak. While I was debating between waking her up and getting out of bed so she could finish she stopped, so I just shrugged it off and went back to sleep myself.
This morning I asked her about it and she had no recollection of the event at all. I apologized for previously assuming that I wouldn’t have possibly been able to get off without being aware of it and we talked about it for a few minutes, determining that at this point it is not problematic enough to start figuring out how to rearrange the furniture so that her bed fits in the living room or anything, so we will keep up the sleeping arrangement until the weather finally cools down. If it happens again though we will see about trying to find a less embarrassing solution to the sleep problem. This all leads me to the $1,000,000 question.
Has anyone else ever seen a spouse/friend/significant other do this kind of thing in their sleep? Have you ever been told it is something that you have done? How the hell do you stop yourself from doing something in your sleep? Is this something that only effects us girls or are guys just as likely to whack off in their sleep?
- and “Now that you mention it, my clitoris is kind of raw.”