Advice coming from my brother, talking loudly in his sleep.
He talks in his sleep all the time, and it’s very amusing to stand near his bedroom door and listen in when he starts talking. It’s like a phone conversation - he says something, waits patiently for someone in the dream to respond, then it’s his turn again. Sometimes it’s just random syllables and he sounds like the Sims, but now and then you get a gem like tonight’s.
My all time fav from him: "That’s not the right cheese. " He didn’t say anything else at all. Just that. Very loudly. And kept on sleeping.
Me: wake up to reposition, then “Yeah, they said they’re cool with it.” reposition
Her: “Huh?”
Me: “They said…fuck, sorry, nevermind. Go back to sleep, baby.”
Her: “OK, whatever.”
Then it happened two or three more times and then it started getting weirder and weirder.
Me: wake up to reposition “The portal is MADE OF CEREAL!” reposition
Her: “What!?”
Me: “The port…FUCK! Sorry. Nevermind.”
Her: “No, what? You keep trying to talk to me, tell me what’s up…”
Me: “Nothing. Nothing. Go to sleep. I’ll explain in the morning.”
Her: “…OK…”
and it got worse and worse and worse. I felt awful because I was not at all in a state to explain what was going on, and she felt awful cause she thought I was trying to say something important to her. Much hilarity ensued when I explained what had actually happened the next morning.
When I lived in Pennsylvania I was staying with a friend of mine who talked in her sleep. We shared a room and worked opposite hours, so she’d sleep while I was awake and vice versa.
One night she blurted out “But I don’t *WANT *girl chickens!” in her sleep. She just also blurted out “CANTELOUPE!” from a dead sleep.
According to my boyfriend (and now just confirmed by the above mentioned former roommate) I mumble in my sleep, unintelligibly.
Annnnd said roommate just told me she has a video I was filming with the computer of me and the cat, with her sleeping in the background - and she suddenly wakes up, asks what time it is. I tell her, she says “Kay.” And passes back out.
Once when I was about ten years old, I woke my parents up, frantic because they were “going to miss the bread!” I don’t know what that was about.
A few years ago, I was dozing on the couch. Mr. Rilch asked if I wanted to go upstairs, and I said, “I dunno…How much cheese is on it?” See, I don’t like pizza where the cheese is thicker than the crust. Not sure why I was concerned about pizza at that moment, though.
Mr. Rilch once took a tranquilizer before we got on a plane (he hates flying). Due to conditions, we were on the ground in Kansas City longer than scheduled. He seemed to be coming out of it, so I asked if he wanted me to get him something to eat, and he requested a KFC sandwich with relish. Lo and behold, the only place selling food was KFC, so I got his sandwich and a packet of relish. Brought it back, and he had no memory of asking, and no idea why he would have wanted relish.
When I was in my early teens, my mum woke me up on a schoolday and I asked her (in a very concerned tone) “Mum, you haven’t really been drinking that stuff, have you?”
Later, when I shared a house with my sister and BIL, I slept right through the alarm and my BIL came in to see if I was alright; he said “Hey, aren’t you going to work today?”. Apparently (I have no memory of it at all), I sat bolt upright, looked him accusingly in the eye and answered “I don’t know, AM I going to work today? You tell me; you obviously know better than I do; AM I going to work today? Well? Am I?”. He says he mumbled an apology and backed away. I went back to sleep and ended up being several hours late for work.
My husband sits up and talks about carbohydrates. The first time, he sat bolt upright, and in a panic, called out " HONEY! What about the other muffin!?", which woke me up in a panic, until my brain registered it as nonsense. Since then he has announced “these are the wrong waffles”, and one time it was a bunch of gibberish, a pause, and a clear request for beer.He wakes me up for this, and in the morning denies the whole thing. His subconscious digs its carbs.
My George parrot sometimes talked in its sleep, but only ever managed “squeakle, squeakle…hewwo”, but he said it with his head backwards and beak under a wing.
One time that I slept over at my friend’s house, her sister (who she shared a room with at the time) sat bolt upright, looked at my friend accusingly and said “Mom told you to stop playing with your tail!” She proceeded to flop back down on the bed and pass out. She doesn’t remember it.
Also, I use to sleep walk years ago. I heard interesting stories about my behavior about once a week. I can only remeber one at the moment. I had fallen asleep on the couch, so my Mom wakes* me up and tells me to go get ready for bed. I get up and walk to the sliding glass back door and stare blankely outside. Mom followed me to see what I was doing. When she inquired I said “Waiting for the monkeys.” I said it all exasperated, like she should have known that already.
*Meaning I open my eyes and get up but not necessarily stop sleeping.
I was on a trip to Italy a few weeks ago, and I was sharing a room with my cousins. The second morning there, one of them turns to me and says, “Do you know you swear in your sleep?”. Turns out, she was awake for some reason, and she heard me mumble something, and then, as she put it, “drop the f-bomb”.
Hubby once woke up from a sound sleep looked at me, looked at the floor in despair, looked at me and asked plaintively ‘Why snakes?’.
I said ‘huh?’
He looked at me with a mixture of love and exasperation and said ‘honey… *why *did you buy snakes?’ and then peered over the edge of the bed with concern.
Being a sleepwalker myself, and having a brother who talked in his sleep a lot, I’m familiar with the drill.
Me: ‘Sorry hon, I thought you’d like them. I’ll take them right back to the shop, okay?’.
Hubby: (very relieved) ‘Oh, thank you.’ And he gave me a big, sunny smile and went straight back to sleep.
When I was younger, I used to sleep over at my best friend’s house several times a week. (She only lived 6 houses down.) She talked ALL the time, but most of the time it was very normal conversation. One time I happened to be awake while she was asleep, and she sat bolt upright, fist in the air, and shouted “Heroes of the Night!”. Then she dropped back and went to sleep. She has no memory of ever doing this, of course.
A friend’s dad told us about the time when he was a kid, sharing a room with his younger brother, and in the middle of the night his brother sat bolt upright, sang two complete verses of the Star Spangled Banner, and lay down and resumed sleeping, with no memory of having done it.
And not a sleep talking episode, but I once managed to catch my sleepwalking son, about age 4 at the time, just in time to prevent him peeing on his sister as she lay sound asleep in her bed. I’ve never let him forget it.
Are you sure he was really sleepwalking? Or just a little pissed off at sis?
Anyhow, when I was about that age, my mom would wake me up just before she went to bed so that I could pee. The normal routine was to put me in front of the toilet and turn on the sink to give me the urge. Only one time I wasn’t quite awake and she had forgotten to turn me towards the toilet. So when she turned on the water I just started peeing on her leg.
I crawled into bed with mischief-lover, who was already asleep:
Him: You’ll never believe what I found!
Me: Really, what?
Him: <snore>
So I shake him awake.
Me: What did you find?
Him: Huh? Wha?
Me: You just said I’d never believe what you found! What was it?
Him: Oh! Yeah! It was awesome…
Me: So what was it?
Him: <snore>
I shake him awake again.
Me: What did you find that was awesome?
Him: Huh? Wha?
Me: You said you found something awesome and I’d never believe it. What was it?
Him: Oh, yeah! It was a miniature <mumble, mumble>…
Him: <snore>
I’m dying of curiousity. I shake him awake again.
Me: Sweetie, are you awake?
Him: Yeah, sure.
Me: Really?
Him: Yes. I am definitely awake.
Me: You said you found something awesome that I’d never believe, and it was a miniature, but you failed to identify the object. What the HELL was it?
Him: <thinks for a couple of seconds>Oh, yeah! The battery-powered one!..
Him: <snore>
I shake him awake again. By this point I figure it’s probably a dream, but I’m really, really curious what he thinks he found. And, I’m laughing my ass off.
Me: WHAT DID YOU FIND???
Him: Huh? Wha?
Me: You found. A. Miniature. Battery-powered. Awesome. Thing. Which I would never believe. WHAT. WAS. IT.
Him: Do you mean the flamethrower?
Me: The FLAMETHROWER???
Him: <snore>
Afterwards, I couldn’t decide which would be funnier, if he had actually found a miniature battery-powered flamethrower, or if he had dreamed the whole thing up.
I’m supposed to have woken up a friend sleeping next to me while we were camping and announced to her in a very loud voice “The weatherman goes around on a donkey”. Naturally, I have no memory of this, but I talk a lot in my sleep. I’m always worried I’m going to blabber some deep dark secret, but since it hasn’t happened yet, maybe my subconscious has a firewall up.
My husband talks in his sleep a lot. (I should also add, he’s a vivid dreamer, and often dreams that he is a super hero or The Man In Charge and saving the world.)
Once he said to me, “What’s the password?”
I knew he was asleep, so I responded with something silly, like “The swallow flies at midnight.”
He opened his eyes, looked straight at me and said, “No, that’s wrong. Now I have to kill you.”
I started screaming and shaking him till he woke up, you betcha!
