Weird things you say in your sleep

I don’t usually talk in my sleep, but every once in a while I’ll have a really vivid dream and it will carry over into a kind of semi-conscious state, and I’ll say something out loud, thinking it’s a really valid thought, when actually it makes no sense at all.

Recently I fell asleep watching Top Gear, and for some reason it occurred to me that Jeremy could win whatever hilarious competition he was currently engaged in if he’d just “change to a tee shirt with no logos on it and put on some kind of beanie”.

Seriously. I said beanie.

The prior time this happened, maybe a year ago, I woke up my husband in the dead of night and said “Can I ask you a question about Batman?”

I had this nagging thought that if Commissioner Gordon kept tossing out the bat signal for every little thought and question, wouldn’t Batman eventually just blow him off - or at least get very irritated and be less inclined to care about Gotham as a whole?

It seemed a very concerning and urgent question at that moment. My husband took it in in stride and gave me a reasonable answer, and I went back to sleep. I remembered asking the question the next day, but not the response or the dream that spawned it.

The only other one was back in college - and certainly controlled substances could have had an impact on this. I had what I thought was a brilliant statement pop into my head, and I was alone. With no one to share this flash of genius with, I got up and wrote it on a scrap of paper and stuck it to my fridge.

That morning, I got up, remembering I had written something but not what it was. I went to the fridge and saw, “Salmon is like potato famine, except you don’t have any.”


I’m an active sleeper. I’ve talked, yelled, sang, cried, and cursed :eek: in my sleep. I don’t remember doing most of these. However, there was a night when I was around 9 where I dreamt that my family was going on a boating trip. I was really agitated with my younger brother who wouldn’t stop messing around with the pile of lifejackets.
“How about this one?” He asked as he held up a beige lifejacket.
**“NO, YOU ALREADY GOT THE TANGERINE ONE!!!” **I yelled at him.
Apparently, I said that sentence aloud in real life, waking up my best friend in the same room and her stepdad in the room over.

I have been known to talk about my work stuff when I am asleep. I guess sleeping brings back memories of the boring meetings that I nap through, and my mouth kicks in with conditioned responses. Some things like - “Well, we have to ask the China team to test these changes tonight or they wont be ready until Wednesday” and such.

On other occasions I seem to replay arguments with my old ex’s. This is usually not a problem, but leads to merciless ribbing if I sleep within earshot of any of my friends. Sample, “You were arguing with someone about how much tabasco sauce to use!”

I rarely talk in my sleep, but in college, I sang to myself and moaned in my sleep for a few nights in a row. The first night, I woke up to my roommate asking if I was all right, which seemed odd to me until she explained that I’d been moaning.

Least Original User Name Ever sometimes wakes up laughing. Too bad he can never remember the joke from his dreams. A few months ago, I got into bed, and he said, “We don’t need any more graphics.” I had to make him repeat it multiple times. He started to explain, but by that time, he was fully awake and couldn’t remember what he meant.

I woke myself up from a sleep shouting, but “one more time, one more time spin it again”

I was convinced I had mastered the plan to winning in roulette. I was going to play 20 chips at $100 each scattered across the board. I figured that at 36 to 1 I would definitely clean up. I was convinced of this, and was getting argumentative with my boyfriend when he wouldn’t “let” me go borrow money from a payday loan place to “prove” this. (Somehow this would only work with hundred dollar chips, I couldn’t go spend 20 dollars to test this theory with single chips.)

I was convinced that the payoff was so huge and I had a 2/3 chance of winning (except I WAS GOING TO WIN, I * could not possibly lose.* I figured that 2 spins would net me my orignial investment plus $3200, the secret was to stop after 2 times, then come back later, do the same thing twice more, etc.

Later when I was awake, the boyfriend pointed out that with the double zeros and so forth my chance of getting a straight up if I just played the centres was only 20/38 which is better than even but sucky odds. When we drive by the casino he still bugs me sometimes about my “grand gambling theory”

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and I never know if it will be in English or in French. One of the more memorable times he was umpiring a baseball game, in French and told the catcher, I think, that he was a "blockhead like all the other English. I wasn’t exactly… pleased…after that one but I long ago learned not to worry about anything he says unless he is sitting up and has his glasses on.

I rarely talk in my sleep. But a couple of months ago, my wife told me I’d been rattling something off in German for a minute or two. I do listen to one or more German radio stations nearly every day, I read stuff online, and I post to German message boards occasionally. But I don’t know anyone IRL to speak it with, so I never use it conversationally.

I talk in my sleep, but as an only child for the vast majority of my life I’ve had nobody to experience my Orpheus rantings. My current GF sleeps like a log so even if I said anything, I doubt she’d hear it.

Good timing for this thread; I vaguely remember waking up last night muttering something about Kevin Nealon. I think I was having a dream about stand up comics, and I woke up saying something like, “No, it’s Kevin Nealon who does that bit!”.
I think it’s because I was talking to one of my friends about Weeds yesterday.

My brother is a sleep-talker - his two classics are:

  1. “That’s crazy, they’ve all got needles sticking in their head”

  2. “The brake Catherine, THE BRAKE!!!” (My sister was learning to drive at the time…)

My sweet baboo is a very active sleeper. He once hit me with his fist while fighting with someone :eek:

I do wake up during wetdreams …what are they called for females? I think that I’m not weird, I think that women don’t talk about them. If I’m weird, pls don’t tell me. :smiley:

I apparently rolled over and punched out an ex-boyfriend when I was sleeping with him. I woke up and there was blood on the pillow:eek: But he was nice about it, and never held it against me.

I have been told I babble in my sleep in french more than english. Not sure what that could mean about my unconscious state :confused:

Are you my roommate? Because if so, you also snore.

Sleep talkin man. Warning: It gets a bit ripe sometimes, and your work may or may not appreciate your visiting during work hours.

My roommate talks in his sleep, loudly, almost every single night. It always wakes me up. Some of the hilarious ones-

(sounding totally anguished) “Where does she live?” (two second pause, now furious), “TELL ME, GODDAMNIT!!!”

“Go ahead, then, go ahead and just play with your Angry Birds.”

“Don’t you want your burrito back? Fine, keep it, keep that burrito!”

He also screams in his sleep. I’m used to it, but it freaked my boyfriend out something terrible the first time he heard it.

One time my SO said in a cheery voice, “Cannibalism, mm hmm.”

When I was in college, I once rolled over in bed and announced to my SO (currently my spouse): “Put it on a banner with Garfield and hang it over the freeway.” I remember saying it, but I have absolutely no idea what it meant.

That’s still one of our catchphrases for something in explicable 20+ years later.

DH says I mostly mumble nonsense these days, but when I was a kid, I said and did all kinds of weirdness.

My mom’s “favorite” story is when I was about 7.

I walked into their room and just hovered over her til she woke up. Then I very calmly said, “By the time this election is over, I’ll be long gone,” turned around, and went back to bed.

Freaked her right the hell out!

My husband did that to me once! Punched me right in the eye! Fortunately, I didn’t get a black eye from it; no one would have believed how accidental it was. . .

As for me, I occasionally mutter in my sleep, but I don’t really say anything intelligible (for anyone out there who thinks I don’t say anything intelligible while awake, either, hush! :stuck_out_tongue: ); hubby occasionally has entire conversations, though. He once woke me up (we were both sound asleep) to have this conversation with me:
Him: (waking me up) I hate when you do that!
Me: (not realizing he was asleep) When I do what?
Him: My sandwiches!
Me: :confused: What?
Him: You make my sandwiches backwards!
Me: Huh??
Him: You know. You put the mayo on first, then the lettuce and tomato, and then you put on the hamburger; that’s backwards and I hate it!
Me: Oh! You’re asleep! Yeah, hush. We’ll discuss it in the morning.

I used to talk in my sleep a lot when I was a kid and a teenager. I also did a lot of sleepwalking back then too, and if it’d been invented then people would have thought I was on Ambien. I had entire conversations with people and not even remember it. Nowadays, because I sleep during the day, I’ve had times where people would call, I’d answer, talk to them, and have no recollection of the conversation at all. Sometimes there’d be cryptic messages on the computer where the only thing that made sense would be “Write this down or you’ll forget it” and then just random words all strung together.

I used to work at a call center doing helpdesk support. I had a coworker who’d been up all night, and was having trouble staying awake. I noticed he kept nodding off throughout the day, especially while waiting for a customer’s PC to reboot. On one call he got real quiet, then all of a sudden he startles himself awake and blurts out PANCAKES!! To this day I will do that sometimes to be funny.

Mindlessly violent, too:

Rather Tarantino-esque, I’d say.