I think this is an embarassing and/or funny topic - depends on the person I guess…
What people say or do while they are asleep
When I was in summercamp some years ago, there was a girl in my room who always farted in her sleep.
From the moment she fell asleep it took exactly 5 minutes until she would start.
My rents snore a lot - everybody snores now and then, but they are really funny, because it sounds like they are talking:
Mom: short snore
Dad: answers with long snore
Mom: short snore
Dad: long snore
and so on…
Of course I dont know much of the stuff I do while i sleep but I often wake up with my head on the other end of the bed.
At parties there is always somebody who starts talking when asleep - they ll mumble and mumble and it sounds marvellously Chinese…
My boyfriend would always lie somewhat motionless after he fell asleep, but some minutes later he d suddenly move very quickly - (like when you dream you are falling down a stair)which always woke me up. It was kind of funny
About sleeping… I used to be on a too high dose of psycho-meds and was tired all day long. I even fell asleep in school.
Once I woke up to stare right into the teacher s eyes. He had put his head on my desk, right in front of my head and had stared at me until I woke up.
In religious education somebody from amnesty international came to speak to us, but I was too tired for it. It was damn interesting, but I couldnt keep my eyes open no matter how hard I tried. The poor woman was quite nervous (poor thing thought she was boring enough to make me fall asleep)
I’m one hundred percent normal and have never done anything odd when I sleep…ever.
I had a girlfirend who would pounce on me when we slept. She would be sleeping, and all of a sudden when jerk and grab me. Of course I would wake up. Usually happened twice a week or so.
She also slepwalked on occasion. Once, she even started pouring water into a pan in her sleep.
Spooje is a complete freak. I have sleep apnea, which means I snore loudly(loud enough to shake the windows) and periodically stop breathing. An ex-GF used to punch me in frustration as I slept. In my sleep study, where I was wired up with electrodes all over my body and told to relax and go to sleep, it was determined that I stop breathing 7 times per hour.
I now sleep with a CPAP machine(continuous positive air pressure) that keeps my airway from closing. The machine has a long air hose connected to a mask that fits, via straps, over my nose. It looks like the air masks the pilots wore in ‘Top Gun’.
Iampunha, on the other hand, doesn’t snore as far as people’ve told him, but his roommate tells him he looks like a fish (mouth slightly open).
i sleep with my eyes open, drink beer and smoke, preferably standing up.
a friends girlfriend reported that he turned to her in his sleep and said “i kill babies”. obviously she spent the rest of the night huddled in a corner, armed…
another friend laughs constantly in his sleep, but can never remember his dreams in the morning.
the strangest thing that i’ve said is ‘no, i don’t like weetabix’… i’m sure i’ve said and done a lot more, but i sleep alone these days
If I get into bed when my gf is already asleep, I can always hold a fairly coherent (if a touch surreal) conversation with her. The only way I know if she’s really asleep (rather than just dozing) is if I ask her flat out “Are you asleep?” If awake, she’ll respond to this with a no. If asleep however the answer is always wonderfully non-committal. Existential, even. It’s like she’s forced to face the fact that she might be asleep but (obviously) isn’t awake enough to cope with the conundrum.
“Mmm. Wha’s 'sleep. Mmm. How can you know? Mmmmm.”
Always gives me a good laugh. Of course she can’t remember a thing about the conversation the next morning.
She’s so cute.
My daughter chatters several times a night. You can understand very little of what she says, but catch a few words here or there. It doesn’t go on for very long. The Mrs and I just listen and sometimes get a good laugh out of it.
IAPL (in a prior life) I once fell asleep waiting for my girlfriend to call. The next morning I called her up; and bitched her out for not calling. She proceeded to tell me that she did call me; and relayed all the things I had wanted to talk to her about. I guess I answered the phone had a conversation with her in my sleep. I really felt like an ass.
I disbelieve you. You’re going to have to prove it.
I don’t do anything strange, that I know of, but I have very vivid dreams, and often wake up and think they’re real. Especially the bad ones. So I’ve been known to call friends at 4 am to have them convince me they’re ok.
I’m usually asking for beer or another cigarette, as i sleep with my eyes open i have been know to ask for sunglasses.
My wife sometimes mumbles in her sleep, but that’s not the funny part.
When she groggily wakes up from slumber, she carries on complete conversations about her work with me as if I am either her boss or someone who works for her, all without her remembering a thing.
Typical morning at Battyland:
Me: Honey, time to get up.
Her: Ok, did you get the presentation I emailed to you?
Me: Yes I did, it’s very good. But it’s 7:00, we need to get out of bed.
Her: Good, make sure you get the signage delivered today.
Me: I certainly will, sweetheart. Let’s get you in the shower, ok?
Her: Ok. Right after this meeting.
The first time she did that I was completely flummoxed, now I roll with it.
The oddest thing I’ve done while asleep is coach someone through physics homework over the phone. I have no memory of doing so (other than some very surreal dream memories from that night). She told me the next day that she knew I was asleep, couldn’t get me to wake up, and just followed my instructions for lack of any better options.
She got a good grade on it somehow…
Which means you were awake when you performed analingus on that dog . . .
Dude, maybe you should sleep more . . .
I don’t do anything overly strange when asleep. I just snore occasionally. My friends however are another matter.
One time at a party everyone was asleep except myself and one other guy. All of a sudden one of the (4) guys oin the bed sits straight up and says, “If I ever catch you uising C-4 on a weekday I’ll…” He had no memory of it the next day.
Another time one of the guys in the room got up and walked over to the window and opened it, came back hit me in the arm really hard and said, “Goddamn it leave the window closed.” About half an hour later he got up closed the window and said, “Goddamn it I said leave the window open.” Once again he had no memory of it.
Well, you see, he’s got this really demanding chick on the East Coast…
I talk in my sleep sometimes, usually incoherently, but I have said some bizarre things too. Once when my friend was sleeping over, I sat straight up in bed and turned to her and said “I’m holding the eagle and it’s flying high in the sky.” Sometimes it’s about work. Once while working at a burger place I mumbled “You want what on your burger?” then laughed. Lastly there was the fever induced, “I’ve got to kill those little people.”
When I was around 14, I fell out of bed, and the crash was loud enough to wake my parents in their room. My father came in to my room to find me on the floor crying. “I can’t get into bed,” I said. He helped me, I thanked him, and he went back to bed a bit confused.
The next morning MommaRiddles asked me how I felt. “Tired, but fine, why?” She proceeded to tell me the story, of which I had no memory at all. As I am a very light sleeper, this is especially strange. Maybe my parents were in cahoots and were just making it up. Yea, that’s it.
For most of my childhood, I would somehow flip my blankets upside down. Quite precisely, too. I would wake up in the middle of the night with the top blanket against my skin and the sheet as the top layer. I think I was sliding over to one end of my bed, flipping over all the blankets, and then sliding back under them. I have no idea why. It stopped when I went to college, for some reason.
I’ve been known to talk in my sleep, usually so fast that no one can understand what I’m saying, or even be sure that I’m speaking English.
My girlfriend and I have woken up, um, well into each other… Very nice – I wish it happened more often.
I probably snore when I sleep, but have not been told I do so.
My dog is a riot when he sleeps. He lays on his side and half-howls/half-woofs and moves his feet like he is running. I imagine he is dreaming about chasing rabbits, but I’ll never know.
I talk in my sleep. My friends who have spent the night at my house or vice versa get a big kick out of this. I sound like I’m awake, perfectly lucid and can usually answer questions if you ask me, but I’m asleep. Examples:
At a friend’s house with two other girls, who decided they loved the song “Callin’ Baton Rouge” from Garth Brooks’ Double Live album and so played it on repeat all night. They switched CDs, I fell asleep. They put Garth back on after I was asleep. Reportedly, I sat up and told them “No, not that song again” and flopped back over.
Same night as before. Woke one of the others up by talking. She asked me what was wrong. I said “There’s something wrong with the rock.” I then fell back over.
Different night, different place, same girls. Woke up the same girl again and said “I don’t usually do that…” She said “Jenn? What are you talking about?” I said “You know, that. I don’t usually do it that way.” I did not remember the dream in the morning, unfortuneately (?).
Different night, different place, different girl. Was sleeping on the top bunk, my friend was on the bottom bunk, I said while sleeping “I can’t, I’m married. But do you have any butter?”