Not too long ago I woke up naked in my girlfriend’s guest bedroom. I had no clue why I was in there, but promptly snuck back into her bedroom and went back to sleep. I woke in the morning (around 8), said hello to her parents, and left for work.
Around ten or so my GF calls, and says “guess what you did last night”. I didn’t really want to know, but I was somewhat curious, so I had to coax her into telling me the story.
Apparently in the middle of the night, I got out of bed (already naked), walked down the hall, pissed down the stairs, and went to the guest bedroom to go back to sleep, where I lay on top of the covers (with the door open) until her mother discovered me in the morning. She said she was trying to be really loud to wake me up, and I guess I’m glad she didn’t…I’m not really easily embarrased, but when my GF was telling me this story, she had to add that her mothers only comment was “he has really nice skin”. Not sure exactly how much skin she saw, but damn am I glad they like me.
Just a stupid little story I thought I’d share. Anyone else have any interesting sleepwalking stories? Apparently I do it all the time, and have plenty of stories to tell, but none quite as interesting as this one.
Well, if her mom starts winking at you on the sly, you’ll know why.
I have a sleepwalking story - or, rather, sleep standing. My mom, a few years back, was on a combination of muscle relaxants and a very, very strong sleeping pill. Have you ever seen the movie “Awakening”, where the encephalitis patients just “froze” in place? She would doze off looking like that - one hand up in the air, holding the book she was reading, still half sitting up. She didn’t slump over or relax or anything.
One night I came into her room and she had, while asleep, gotten up - probably to use the restroom. She had fallen back asleep WHILE WALKING, and she was frozen standing up, midstep, with her forehead just barely touching the wall in front of her, helping her keep her balance. Creeped. Me. Out. I guided her back to bed and, the next day, told her she needed to look at some milder sleeping pill options.
I had heard a similar tale, actually, as far as downstair-pissing.
I’ve sleep-walked before, but those were particularly uneventful situations as compared to a related phenomenon: Sleep-pissing in the manner I thought you meant when I saw the title.
I will freely admit—well, not so much freely, but, ah—anyway, I used to wet the bed when I was younger in a peculiar manner; I would actually dream that I had gotten out of bed, walked to the toilet, whip–er, commence with my business, only to wake up to see that I had not in fact walked to the bathroom. Curtain, Begin Act II in which I hunt for the talcum powder.
I actually had the same dream the other night, and woke up. Thankfully, this dream was not accompanied by interpretation as before.
I think the reason I did it was because of the way the rooms are arranged in her house. If I were to take the same steps using the floorplan of my house, I would have wound up in the bathroom.
How sweet would it have been if I had fallen down the stairs though? To wake up naked, covered in urine, with a broken leg and my girlfriends family rushing to find me at the bottom of the stairs…heh.
oh, and Joe K, I remember having dreams like I was in the shower, or a pool, or in the bathroom and waking up just in time to catch myself too when I was younger. And I mean MUCH younger, it wasn’t last week or anything. I swear.
Well, when I was younger, I used to (stupidly) keep large amounts of cash in my wallet. Like I would get birthday money and keep it in my wallet instead of doing the smart thing and depositing it in my savings account. One night my mom found me asleep but sitting in my desk chair. My wallet was opened and laying on the desk. When she turned the chair around to see what I was doing, she was surprised to find me ‘counting’ money in my sleep. Apparently late at night I had gotten up, opened my wallet, and carefully folded each bill over as if counting it all to make sure it was all there, ALL WHILE ASLSEEP an even more annoying habit I discovered was that I would hide money in my sleep. I was convinced my brother was stealing money from me, until my mom, awakened by some noise, went into my room and found me stuffing a wad of dollar bills underneath my television set even today I’ll find the occasional ‘cache’ of money nocturnally ferreted away all those years ago.
You pissed down the stairs? Like, in an arc with most of it landing downstairs, or on the staircase itself?
In any case, I find it remarkable that your girlfriend’s parents didn’t even mention it in the morning. Not even a “would you kindly clean up that puddle you left on the stairs last night?” Who did clean it up? This is all just so wrong on so many levels.
I must say, the girlfriend is a keeper since neither her nor her parents ejected you from the house following the incident. Especially since you mentioned you “do it all the time”. Good luck!
I pissed ALL OVER the stairs. I think most of it was on the carpet. Her mom initially thought that her older brother had taken a shower and walked to his room without drying off completely. Apparently it was all over the stairs. I can only imagine what would have happened if I arced it down onto the tiles in the foyer.
And my loving girlfriend, Og bless her, cleaned it up
(I’m sure it was all water, I had been drinking a bit [surprise!])
I was going to ask if you had been drinking. I had an ex that pissed around the house when he had been drinking. Turns out he had a brother that did the same thing (when he had been drinking). Finally, my best friend had a boyfriend who did it, too (of course, when drunk). I think I’m seeing a trend here.
Well, see, I drink all the time, and I sleepwalk alot, but very rarely is it bathroom related. The other night I woke up and realized that I was not in my bedroom, and turned around and went back to bed. I don’t think it was alcohol related, as I had not been drinking too much. But I guess it could depend on how much water I drank throughout the day, as even sober I have sleep-pissed after drinking lots of water…hmmmm
Any women the victims of sleep pissing? Please don’t tell me this is primarily a guy thing; us guys seem to get stuck with all the embarassing disorders of this nature, it seems :mad:
Please tell me women do something embarassing in their sleep!
Thanks for the details, TheOtherOne. Now I guess I have to tell my story.
I was a frequent sleepwalker as a kid. I remember that apparently, one night, I had somnambulized my way into the bathroom and pissed. Unfortunately, I missed the toilet.
I was also a bed wetter up until about, oh, seventh grade or so. But now my bladder muscles are made of STEEL!
Several years ago, my boyfriend at the time, and I were spending the night at another couple’s house. I awoke to the sound of rain hitting the window. But when I opened my eyes, the rain was hitting the inside of the window, and it wasn’t rain. I was on the side of the bed closest to the wall, lying on my back. He was lying there sound asleep, and pissing over me, and onto the window. :eek:
My roommate sleep-pissed on my cassettes in college while he was asleep. I still don’t know if it was sleep pissing or just a sophomoric attempt at music criticsm.
Someone could really parlay this sleep-pissing thing into some serious anti-social behavior without worry of the consequences.
About five years ago, I was on a mass camping trip with about 20 friends that included a great deal of drinking. On our final night, around 4 in the morning, I was still awake, sitting around the campfire with a couple other people, when we hear this sound … like rain against nylon …
And then two of my friends came barreling out of their tent because a third guy had gotten up, calmly walked to the corner of the tent, and started pissing in his sleep. Apparently, it happens to a lot of people.
I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life. He denies it to this day, despite the fact that the two guys in the tent saw him do it, and the rest of us outside heard it.
My own sleepwalking stories are relatively tame, in comparison, I guess. Although I did once wake up in a tree in the middle of the Back Bay Fens at five in the morning.
an even more annoying habit I discovered was that I would hide money in my sleep. I was convinced my brother was stealing money from me, until my mom, awakened by some noise, went into my room and found me stuffing a wad of dollar bills underneath my television set 
even today I’ll find the occasional ‘cache’ of money nocturnally ferreted away all those years ago.