Just wanted to share a little story, I know there was another thread about piss stories but I could not find it. One day I had been drinking all day with my buddies. I mean I was piss drunk man. Well I passed out in my bed, which is also in the same room as my brother’s bed. I passed out and evidently I must have had a dream that I was pissing. I got up still asleep to my knowledge and proceded to piss on all my bro’s bed who was laying in it. My bro said I was laughing while I was pissing on his bed He jumped up real quick and boy was he pissed. After I pissed in his bed I proceded to lie down in the bed with the urine filled pool. I slept all night in my piss. In the morning I woke up and the bed was real wet I did not know what happened. I had to clean it all up this next day with a hangover. Does anyone else have any more stories?
Er… welcome to the er, boards. :dubious:
The last time I woke up in piss was when I was a little kid and had not yet grown out of wetting the bed.
I’ve woken up in my own sick, when I was a heavy drinker. The last time I did that was at least 4 years ago. It suuuure puts my current drinking into perspective!
Hey if you decide to join maybe you should make your name Mississipeeman.
Thank, you, thank you very much. Don’t forget to tip your moderator.
My boyfriend was at a party where one guy passed out on the couch. After an hour or two, with everyone still partying in the room, he got up, turned around, pissed on the couch, and then laid back down. In front of everyone there. HA.
I recently tested for a new rank in Kung Fu. This one was a significant test; very challenging physically, cardio-wise, strength-wise, flexibility-wise, etc. I went into serious “training” for this one - eight weeks of intensive physical practice, healthy foods only (I even bid my beloved beers goodbye for the duration).
The test was scheduled for a Friday night. Beginning the Sunday prior, I pounded water. All day, every day, I was hauling a big cup of water around with me.
The night of the test came; I tested; I passed. The test itself was about 2 hours, 40 minutes of near-constant physical activity. There were periodic breaks for water - about 5 minutes each, then back at it. During these breaks, I drank water to replenish the pools of sweat I was leaving on the mats.
Did I mention I passed? During the last twenty minutes, which consisted of sparring, every muscle in my legs - both legs - were cramping up something awful. I can only imagine what it would have been like if I hadn’t over-hydrated myself as I did.
I got home, still parched. Drank 12 oz. of Slimfast, 24 ounces of Orange Juice, a couple more glasses of water. Went to bed.
Woke up in the middle of the night in a puddle. I don’t mean the sheets were damp - I mean I was laying in a pool of sweat. The sheets were soaked, transparent with water. I had to shower, then wrap myself up in a blanket and sleep on a couch. It took us two days to air out the matress. My wife jokes that, had we been awake when my body divested itself of all its fluids, I would have looked like a sprinkler, thousands of tiny jets of water shooting up from my skin.
. . . and did I mention, I passed the test? Not bad, for a only geezer! 
This just reminded me of an experience I had in high school.
There was this big, loud, obnoxious guy named Keith who was the best friend of boyfriend of my best friend Jean. This guy was generally a mean, violent, beligerant, bigotted redneck.
So we’re having a party at my house (parents away of course) and he’s there with his friend and there are a few more of us and there are some stupid drinking bets made. Keith ends up drinking almost an entire fifth of Wild Turkey. It was probably 3/4 full when he started. Eventually he was sitting at the end of our dining room table just staring with a mean ass scowl on his face. That’s when we heard it, the sound of water hitting the vinyl flooring. Someone looks under the table and says:
“Keith, what the fuck are you doing? You’re pissing all over the floor man.”
To which Keith replys:
“I am not”
Now we’re all yelling at him
“Go to the bathroom man, you’re pissing on the floor” We can all see it, we can hear it, no question where it’s coming from (thank my sensible parents for vinyl dining room chairs, whew!) Eventually he got angry that we were telling him he was pissing on the floor when clearly to him he was not and he got up to leave. We all knew not to let him drive and one of the other guys (about a foot shorter and 50 lbs lighter than him) got his keys.
This did not please him one bit. Did I mention that he was big, mean, angry, violent and now so drunk he didn’t know what he was doing. He literally picked up the kid who took the keys and threw him about 3 feet into the side of his VW beetle. Bent the passenger side door in. Without too much effort wrestled the keys away from him. Keith’s friend (my best friends boyfriend) was the only guy there who was as big as Keith and he was trying in vain to reason with him. I think by this time Keith relized that he’d pissed his pants and was embarrassed which he expressed by being louder, meaner and more beligerant than ever. Eventually he left, driving.
We found out later that he ran his car into a ditch on the way home. He wasn’t hurt and thankfully no one else was either. Of course he doesn’t remember any of it.
Meanwhile the girls in the party went back into the house and began mopping up what seemed like gallons of piss from the dining room floor.
By the time the parents came home everything was spotless and no one suspected a thing.
Those two guys never came over again.
This story is secondhand, so take it as you will.
A buddy of mine was at a party taking advantage of the bathroom. Another guy came upstairs and demanded to use the toilet. When he was refused, he said that if he couldn’t piss in the toilet, he was going to piss in the bedroom next to it. His bluff was called.
The owner of the house came upstairs to see a drunk guy standing in the doorway to his bedroom, pissing on the carpet and laughing his ass off about it.
:eek:!!!
The thread title reminded me of another thread on Christmas carols, where someone said they loved Charo’s version of “Silent Night”, in which she sings the immortal lyrics, “Slip in heavenly piss”.
When I was about 3 I was at someone’s house and from what I am told I pissed in the person’s house plants in front of everybody.
My little brother and I were walking down a nice residential street a few months ago, and he whips* it* out and pisses while walking down the street, and nobody drove down the street until he was done. One guy saw him doing it and he just shook his head and went back in the house.
In Elementary school 2 of my friends were suspended for having a pee fight in the bathroom and in the same year someone got tricked or dared, I can’t exactly remember to drink a sip of piss.
In 8th grade I pissed in a super soaker and shot it at a mean dog that was chained up in the neighbor’s yard.
I have this on the swron statement of one of the participants: During like the first or second week of law school, when everyone is still in the ass-sniffing stage, my buddy (who is prone to get shite faced) got shite faced and went home with one of our female classmates . . . to her apartment. He woke up in the middle of the night to find himself alone in an unfamiliar, very wet bed. He worked up the courage to investigate his surroundings and found the female classmate asleep on the couch. It was clear that he had fouled her bed, so he did what any gentleman would do . . . woke her up and asked her if she had any extra shorts. She was not please but accomodating nonetheless, her only request that he strip the bed and wash the sheets; however, upon discovering that her shorts were too small for him (a surprise to no one with vision), she insisted he leave and offered to take him home, right then, at 5:00 in the morning. He agreed. As he got into her car, she handed him a beach towel she had brought with her and asked him to sit on it, and “make sure it covers everything.” Today, this man is a fairly high profile lawyer in a large city, and this woman is a law school professor at a very prominent institution. Good times.
for what it’s worth, I used to sleep-pee in closets all the time (drunk or sober) when in new surroundings. My first year of college, I probably pissed my bed a good 4 or 5 times. My sophmore year roommate in the fraternity house pissed our couch so many times the covers wouldn’t fit on the cushions from all the washing. All this before I discovered Nature’s Miracle (pet owners you know what I’m talking about).
According to my wife, while we were in the very early stages of dating, she was at my house. It was late an she was brushing her teeth. Only moments earlier I had been awake, so she wasn’t surprised when I came into the bathroom. She was surprised when I dropped trou and dropped a duece (whilst asleep). She never has told me whether I wiped or not. :eek:
Two stories, one secondhand, both involving refridgerators of some sort.
Secondhand story: A bunch of my friends were drinking at a friend’s house in high school, and slept in the basement with one of those freezers like you might see at a gas station with ice cream in it. Suddenly B comes down the stairs, stumbling, barely making it, asking where the bathroom is. They all tell him that it’s upstairs. “F#ck you,” he says, “I see one right here,” and opening up the lid to the freezer, pees all inside it.
In college the house a couple doors down from me had a huge part that I went to. Everybody got pretty sloshed; especially J. At around 3 AM, after most people had left, we were sitting around in the living room when J comes in, opens up the fridge door, pulls out the vegetable crisper and begins to unfasten his pants. “What the hell…?” we all look at each other. Then, zzzzzzzzzip, and splash… It was a little sea with vegetables and various other foodstuffs floating to and fro.
That was nasty. I’m not sure I would have continued to put my food in there, regardless of how well it got cleaned.
That rug really tied the room together.
I hate you. I wanted to use that line.
You’re out of your element Kyla!
Mods: this is a charming reference, not a flame!
<Cho>It’ll be warm for a minute…</Cho>
I had a roommate in college who occasionally got so drunk that he’d wake up, get out of bed, piss on the floor, and go back to bed, fully convinced that he was in the bathroom.
when i was in grade ten, a bunch of us were biking & skatebording down the street when one of my buddies just whips it out, and lets 'er rip. the funniest part was when he lost his balance and tumbled from his board while still going, and ended up getting a facefull of his own urine.