Oh, my wife’s not really psycho and she realizes she’s being irrational. We laugh about it later in the day.
Funny! 
I keep picturing Laura Petrie sitting up in her single bed first thing in the morning and exclaiming “Oh Rob!”
I’ve woken up mad at my husband because of some dream. Usually I just tell him to leave me alone for a while, I’m still FEELING mad because of the dream, even though intellectually I know he hasn’t done anything wrong in waking life. This time, anyway. 
Sometimes it does take a little while to shake off the residual feelings of things that happened in dreams, but I don’t think I take it out on my husband when “he’s” done things in dreams of mine. Usually I wake up and realize it was all just dream stupidness and breathe a sigh of relief.
Do you think that real-you should be held accountable for what real-you does?
I don’t know the OP and have no idea what he’s like. So this is just hypothetical. But a lot of men give themselves too much credit for housework. They’re constantly congratulating themselves on how much they’re doing while their wives are still quietly doing the majority. (cite - PDF warning)
Perhaps this situation might be going on here. Husband’s thinking “I’m a great guy. I always help get the kids ready for school.” Meanwhile wife is thinking, “We both get the kids ready for school. But I’m the one who washes the dishes, does the laundry, mops the floor, takes care of the shopping, and cleans out the litter box. And he expects a medal because he does half the work of getting the kids ready.”
It may all be subconscious. She might just be aware that she’s a lot busier around the house than her husband is and that feeling provokes a dream about him not doing a household chore. When she wakes up, she realizes rationally that he does get the kids ready and she shouldn’t be irritated over that. But she’s also going to subconsciously still know that she’s doing the majority of housework and she’ll feel irritation over that, even if she can’t pin down why she’s irritated.
Same here. I don’t blame him, and I certainly don’t expect him to apologize, but I do let my husband know that I had a dream about X, am still pissed about it, and that it’ll take a while to go away. That adrenaline and mental state don’t just disappear because they’re based on something that isn’t real.
I always figure it balances out against the times we’re making out in her dreams and she wants to pick up where we left off.
Except that you are unfairly punishing another person for something that happened only in your mind. Instead of nursing your anger, you need to be working on understanding why you dreamt what you did and what it says about what is going on in your own head.
Nah. I don’t punish him for it; I just go off by myself for a bit. It’s not like he’s entitled to have me pretend to be cheerful every moment of every day, no matter how I feel.
OR she’s dreaming about something that she secretly WANTS him to do. That’s just as valid an explanation. The point is that the only person in the dream is the dreamer. The dreamer uses all other personas present as sock puppets. For most people, apparently, the dream is only under subconscious control. For some, it’s under conscious control, too.
Can’t recall a specific example, but this has happened before with us as well.
I do remember her telling me “But you were such an asshole! Why?”
Uh… I’m sorry?
To be fair, it has gone the other way though I seem to recall getting over it a bit more quickly. But then again, I would recall that.
Not always, but almost always they are just parts of ourself represented by what we think of that person.
A guy I used to think of as being very irresponsible often appeared in my dreams and I came to understand that he represented the irresponsible aspects of me. My older sister is a serious control freak. When she appears, I know the dream is about my desire to control the situation. Just two examples, but there you go.
I know my ex-wife appearing in a dream, as extremely frightening after the fact that it is, clearly represents my desire for a relationship. I would suspect that, barring some other strong emotional association with a spouse, that they would tend to represent that for other people. So if you’re dreaming of your spouse doing something dickish, it probably means either that you’re unhappy with some aspect of that relationship (which may have it’s clues what exactly happened in the dream) or that you’re afraid of what happened in the dream happening in real life and you’re test driving the situation in your dreams.
I made it clear the first time this came up: I’m not responsible for anything I do in her dreams. And she’s not responsible for anything she does in mine.
Do I take the prize? I once dreamed I was arguing with my father and when I woke up I continued the argument by yelling at my (ex) husband.
I had never heard of this happening until I’d read it on the Dope many, many years ago. So obviously, I’ve never held my husband responsible (or been mad at him) for anything he’s done in my dreams. I’m sorry, but that just seems crazy to me. And trust me, I know from crazy. If I did do that, I just don’t know how I could ever justify it to myself. It just wouldn’t make any sense. How any of you guys put up with it, I’ll never know.
Constantly. And she didn’t have to be asleep to imagine it.
She was smoking hot, but divorcing her was the smartest thing I ever did.
Found the thread; it even has a link to an even older thread on the syndrome. And I think I’ve seen another thread on it somewhere fairly recently…
What’s freaky is that that episode is playing right now. The one where Phoebe thinks Ross told her he thought she was boring.
The Illuminati are real, and they control the matrix! :eek:
Yep, but the dream has triggered whatever brain chemistry causes emotions, and the emotions are real - even if the reason isn’t. And it takes a bit for all that chemistry to dissipate. Is there anyone who hasn’t woken up “on the wrong side of the bed?” This is just a more extreme - and directed - version.
(Why yes, I’ve done it to my husband, too. And I’ll tell you a good way to keep those anger chemicals bubbling is to tell her she is not being rational.)