I just relocated to LA for a job after living my entire life in Maryland. It was very scary, but exciting. California is really different for an East Coaster, or even a Chicagoan. It took me a month before I could stop staring at palm trees thinking what a ludicrous-looking plant it was.
It’s been a nice different, though. Immediate advantage: it’s December 10 and the high was 72 today. No ice, no snow, no freezing wind, and the “rain” out here is really lame.
In NorCal, we get winter rainstorms that rival anything anywhere. It just dumps water out of a bucket. Only it’s not often, usually not windy, and over quickly with sunshine again the next day. (It also means great skiing the following weekend up in the Sierra.)
I’m in northern California and I’m freezing cold (it’s 48F). You’ll love it out here and once you Inoue where you’re going you can tell us and we’ll tell you the culture of the area. My wife, who’s from Las Vegas, had her mind blown with how friendly people are in our town.
Agreed, all the cool kids are moving to Oakland these days. Also if given a choice don’t kid yourself about the burbs just south of SF. You’ll tell yourself it’s just a 20 minute drive into the city but you’ll find yourself making that drive less and less often and there’s nothing else happening in Daly City. If you want easy connection to the city without living in it, stick to Oakland or Berkeley. Or if you have your heart set on staying west of the bay take a look at Burlingame, it’s very pretty and really IS just a 20 min train ride into downtown SF.
I just moved north out of California and the change is difficult, I miss Christmas flip flops and friends and I’d been at my job for years so there was a comfort level with performance there that I miss every day on my new job, but you can do it! One thing about Californians is that they love people from away, you’ll feel at home soon enough.
Enjoy the ride!
Obviously, if you like easy access to San Francisco, try to find a home near a BART station. It’s good that you’ll be heading to NorCal; that’ll be an easier transition to make than if you were coming to L.A., IMHO.
Or a Caltrain station. Bart is not the only path into the city.
Currently in San Leandro (just south of Oakland) and can give advice about who the good bartenders are. You will not be able to afford the city unless you are a doctor and lawyer at the same time. Then husband and I lived there and were both working (him for NASA!!!) and we were like “Let’s move!”
How specific are we allowed to get here before it’s creepy? I lived in a great place in Union City that was 3 minutes (tops) from the BART station.
OP are you going to be buying or renting?
Well, after a nice tumbler of scotch and a good night’s sleep, in the light of a new day… my stomach is still churning and I’m still finding it difficult to form a coherent thought about all this. It’s overwhelming.
We started playing the “keep, sell, or throw out” game with our stuff last night. There were already some disagreements. Shit’s gettin’ real, folks!
Tonight we’re going to work together on presenting an argument for my boss regarding my work-from-home proposal, and I’ll probably talk to her tomorrow. Might as well do it sooner rather than later. Maybe I’ll feel more settled when I know what’s going on with my job, one way or the other.
We’d like to buy, but don’t want to rush into a decision, so we’ll probably start out renting while we look for a place to buy. Which means moving twice. Ugh!
Your wife has somewhere to stay, temporarily, and you are working in an established job. Well, how about your wife going off to her new job and see how things work out. Give it 3-6 months. That way you don’t burn your bridges by giving up your present job until you know your wife has settled into her new job and is happy.
What you want to avoid at all costs is giving up your established job only to find (a) your wife discovers after a few months that her ‘wonderful’ job turns into a disaster and (b) you can’t find well-paid work in California.
I see your point, Old Red, but believe me when I say she’s going and she’s not coming back. So if I want to stay married (which I do), I’m going too.
Do you have, or will you have, children?
No. That’s one complication we don’t have to worry about.
If you can - it would be a good idea to take a trip out and scout out areas where you might could live. I’m not talking about looking at actual properties, just areas. The bay area around San Francisco is rather large and diverse, when you include the east bay, and south to silicon valley, and north across the bridge. You could drive yourself crazy trying to cover all of the areas, so try to get some recommendations first (from other employees where your wife will be working?) and focus on a couple of areas.
Also, housing styles are different in California than in Chicago. What you are accustomed to seeing on a daily basis is not what you will be seeing in California. I found I had a little bit of a negative reaction to the standards when I moved to California. For example I was accustomed to brick or clapboard and found stucco to look “cheap”. And forget about basements, you’re going to get used to having less “stuff” and less space for stuff. If you are able to afford a house, the lots are generally very small. All this takes some getting used to.
But then you get to spend a Saturday at a nearby winery watching the golden sun washed hills and it all kinda works out. 
…oh, and for someone coming from the flatlands, I find the hills and mountains endlessly fascinating.
If she only needs to go in weekly or less, and you’re looking for cheap, prices in Stockton have bottomed out and don’t look like they’re rising, yet. Not really close enough to be good as a regular commute, but there’s an early morning commuter bus that goes to BART.
If you locate in the bay area - woot! Lots of museums to visit.
We are fortumate in this regard – my SIL and her husband have been in SF for about 15 years and are very familiar with the area. And we’d already planned to visit them for a week at Christmas. We’re penciling in some time on that trip for some exploring.
Sigh I admit it, I’m a pack rat, and I like my big basement and garage. And my pool table! 
I don’t mind a small lot, but I will definitely miss my indoor space.
Indeed. Napa Valley > Wisconsin Dells. 
Stockton’s OK by me. I went to a Ports game a few years ago and enjoyed the town. This would be a very tough sell for the missus, though. I guess we’ll see how hard reality bites when we get into the market, and keep the idea in my back pocket for now.
California is the greatest State in the county. the San Francisco area is beautiful. Ocean, mountains, lakes, rivers, deserts all in short driving distance. Yay!!!
Just resist the temptation to become a Giants fan. Root for the A’s and save your soul. 
I was talking about the Occupy riots and the stupid cops. I certainly agree that lots of Oakland is nice. When we move here we went to the Paramount all the time, the Oakland Museum is fantastic (and you can get free passes from your local library.) So it was a dig at the riots, not Oakland.