It’s not a surprise. We’ve been talking about it for a long time, and it’s something she wants with all her heart. She makes better money than I do anyway, the job is a nice promotion, she gets to be near her sister (her only sibling, and they’ve recently lost both parents), and she’s always hated Chicago winters.
I support her 100%, but it’s been an abstract idea before. Now it’s* real*, and my heart has been racing and my hands unsteady all morning since she called with the news. I’ve lived in Chicago my whole life; it’s all I know. This is a huge deal for me.
I’ve been with my current company for 6 years, I’m well-respected and just got a decent promotion myself this summer. I finally got my third week of vacation last year and the thought of starting over at a new company fills me with dread. I haven’t spoken to my boss yet. I’m going to propose a remote working arrangement, but I think that’s a long shot. We’ll see.
They want her out there by February 1. She’ll probably go ahead while I stay here until the house is sold. She’d stay with her sister in the meantime. There is SOOO much to do.
Whoa! Good luck with everything. Maybe you can make the remote job deal work. That would be the best of both worlds. What part of CA would you be going to?
I am originally from Chicago, and as you can see from my location, I have moved around a lot.
Chicago is a great town - loved the people, food, night life, the lake - what’s not to love? Oh yeah, that fuckin’ winter! That eternal, freezing, windy, crappy, icy winter.
I have found most ex-Chicago folks take to California like ducks to water…sunny, warm year round and lots to do.
Oh sure, there are minor things like earthquakes and riots and fires and floods, plus the traffic sucks, but other than that - you really will like California!
Relax - it is all good. A year from now, when you have a short sleeve shirt on and are outside, roaming around Christmas shopping, you will pause and say, “Gee - I really miss Chicago…pizza.” Other than that, I think you will be quite happy there. Oh, and feel free to get in a car and drive over to Las Vegas some weekend - short drive.
Aren’t you assuming the new job is in southern California? It is a serious pain in the butt to try to drive from San Francisco or Sacramento to Vegas (you either have to take I-5 to Los Angeles (which is seriously out of the way) then I-15, or suffer through state highway 58.
If the job is up north, there’s always Reno, but as I like to say, it’s 211 miles from San Francisco - 210 miles northeast, and 1 mile up - which means going in the winter is also a pain as you need chains for your tires (and you run the risk of I-80 being closed by a snowstorm, making you late for work on Monday).
I have always found that the best things in life started out with me being shit-scared. As the date inches closer I’m thinking “oh god what did I get myself into now”. Then when I start I’m still terrified. And then suddenly I love it, suddenly I find that it was the best decision I ever made.
I realise that for me, I absolutely have to do things that scare me every now and then. Years ago I woke up and decided to move to the jungle of Brazil to work in an orphanage. The day after I signed up I suddenly thought “oh shit, what have I done now?!”. That was perhaps the scariest, and furthest step. It was certainly the best thing I’ve even done.
You’ll be fine It’ll probably get worse at first, with the uncertainty and worry. And then one day you’ll wake up in California, and the weather will be wonderful and you’ll be doing something you love and your wife will be happy that she can have a glass of wine with her sister regularly and all will be right in the world!
She’ll be assigned to Northern California and can work from home. We’re not sure exactly where we’ll end up.
Her sister is in San Francisco, so we’ll undoubtedly settle somewhere in the Bay Area. She wants to be in the city, but I’m not sure what we’ll be able to afford. Maybe East Bay somewhere, but I just dunno right now.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know it’ll all be okay eventually, but I’m still reeling.
My wife and my sister-in-law are from Chicago originally, and now live in the Bay Area. (I met her after she had already moved here.) They made the move successfully and are now totally at home in California, obviously. We are raising our family here. So best of luck to you!
I moved from NJ to the Bay Area 16 years ago. While I love the East, things out here are pretty good also. First, this is about the best job market in the country now. Second, great weather. You get to laugh at all the natives thinking 40 degrees is cold.
Don’t worry about riots. A few years back we took the son of a friend of ours to Berkeley. There was a nice, traditional, riot, with a car being burned. It turns out the people holding the protest bought the car to burn, and when a window got broken, they were incredibly apologetic and paid for it. Just stay away from Oakland.
But come and buy fast - house prices are heading up rapidly.
O, cool! I’m about 30 miles south of the city. You’ll like it here. My SO moved out here from Wisconsin a long time ago, and while he occasionally complains about the lack of seasons I don’t think he misses shoveling snow one bit.
Give yourself some time to adapt to the idea of moving. Change is hard.
No, I’m not in tech, I’m afraid.
What I do now is kind of glorified customer service, though specialized enough to fill a niche within my company and its industry. I like it, but its not a Dream Job or anything. Trouble is, I don’t really have a career title that is easily transferrable from place to place. I still hold a grudge against my younger self for not taking college seriously, the fool.
I’m sure I can find a job, but I’m less sure I can find something that isn’t a crap job starting at the bottom somewhere. But I may be being overly pessemistic. There are placement services everywhere; time to do some homework.
I’d love to think outside the proverbial box and start doing something “different,” but right now I’m not thinking straight enough to have any bright ideas. I just need to wrap my head around the whole situation first, then I’ll figure something out.
Once you’re past the freaking-out stage, you can start looking on Indeed.com to see what kind of openings there are in the Bay Area.
Also, take a look at a map of the BART system; so long as you’re fairly close to a station, getting anywhere else close to another station isn’t that problematic of a commute, so you can live in Berkeley and commute to downtown San Francisco fairly easily.
And Cragislist may be your best bet for finding an apartment or home to rent, at least until you figure out where and/or if you want to land someplace permanently. Expect apartments in SF to be about $500-$1000 a month more than the East Bay.
Everything here is true, except for the shot at Oakland. Lots of Oakland is fantastic – I live in one such part. Others, not so nice. (You could make the same statement about Manhattan.) So don’t scratch it off when you’re pondering your options.
It’ll probably get worse at first, with the uncertainty and worry. And then one day you’ll wake up in California, and the weather will be wonderful and you’ll be doing something you love and your wife will be happy that she can have a glass of wine with her sister regularly and all will be right in the world!