You want edible crack? Try going to Buca di Beppo…I think everything there is laced with it droooool
And pop tarts…gotta go with the brown sugar.
My own personal edible crack is sunflower seeds. And I don’t know why. I can eat a whole bag in the space of a few hours, probably less than an hour if I put my mind to it. Back in my college days, I would replace a meal or two with a bag of seeds. I’ve got a half-eaten bag sitting next to my computer right now.
“I’m like a chocoholic, except for Booze!”
For all of you who can’t control your cravings for chocolate, peanut butter, and caramel, may I direct your attention to the crack that is known by PB Max? This jar is found in the peanut butter and jam aisle in supermarkets. The description on the label says that it’s Snicker’s bar ingredients that are swirled together. I call it shameful and addictive.
I think I could eat an entire box of Eggo waffles if left to my own devices. Toaster-cooked until crispy and slightly brown … mmm perfection.
I’ll second salsa also. Especially the salsa at a local mexican restaurant here. They have the best chips too, thin and cooked just right. Sometimes my friends and I go there just to pig out on chips and salsa.
Funyuns.
There is no better salty crunchy snack.
Whoppers the original malted milk balls ™ naturally and artificially flavored.
I can’t stop myself from scarfing fresh guacamole… I walk down the vegetable aisle and the avocados, they call to me, “Look! Over here! We’re riiiipppe”. And I try to maintain; I pick up one, and look at it’s freshness. But ooh! There’s another good one! And looky over there at that one! And then, before I know it, a whole herd of squishy blacky-green goodness has leaped into my cart.
So of course, I must get some chips. You salsa people know, chips are merely a guacamole delivering device, but they should be good and salty.
I’ve tried to thwart the 'cados, and hide all of the rest of the guacamole ingredients. But how can I not have garlic? OK, so the garlic sneaks in. And sometimes a little salsa is good in it… and of course, that happens to be lurking as well. Limes! I will foil it with limes! Oh, but there’s a lonely one still hiding in the fruit bowl. And sour cream (in some places a guacamole sacrilige, but try the mexican creme fraiches!), that’s sneaking around behind the pickles. And really, if all else fails, I will just mash them up all by their lonesomes, and snarf away.
So the only thing for it is to eat ALL of the guacamole, and flop down like a blob on the couch and feel sorry for myself for the guac glutton I have become. Oh, and I hardly ever lick the bowl. 
Nuts.
Almonds, pistachios and sunflower seeds. One would think I’m a squirrel or something the way I eat these things.
Once I open the package/can - that’s it - they are gone.
I do NOT like to share with my kids and will buy them their own because I do not want their bugger picking, rear scratching fingers, ear digging fingers rummaging through mine.
I’m also a helpless slave to sunflower seeds. In fact, I have a little worn-down spot on my front tooth that I believe came from many years of cracking the shells.
Curry.
I absolutely adore the stuff, and for the past couple of years have been eating it three or four times a week. Usually I make it myself at home, but once a month or so I’ll treat myself to a take-out. As of yet I still haven’t encountered a curry too hot for my tastebuds, and can easily work my way through a Vindaloo or Phall without even breaking into a sweat.
And no, it doesn’t have that effect on me :D.
Cahews.
If I catch site of a jar of those things they’ll be gone in less than 10 minutes. It’s like salty heroin to me.
Hi, i’m longjohn and I’m a curryoholic.
Poppadums are just the best starter in the world. Lovely warm crisp crunchy goodness, and your choice of how each mouthful tastes – shall we go for sweet with the mango chutney, smooth with the mint sauce or hot and tangy with the lime pickle? With onion salad or without? Fantastic.
Also, in all other restaurants I get indecision problems (especially the insoluble Italian pizza / pasta dilemma), in the curry house, no problem. You discover with the starter. If the lime pickle is ringing your bell, then you’re clearly feeling feisty and up for a dhansak madras or maybe vindaloo. If the mango is popping your corn that evening, check out something a little more gently flavoured.
Curry. Truly the food of the gods.
On another note, corks are the most useless objects in my home. Once the wine is open, its useful life is over.
necessary laugh at Ellen Cherry Ha ha!
Crumpets have a pretty short life expentancy around here. So does whipped cream. Naan is gone in the time it takes to work through an equal quantity of hummus (not long).
Presently, I am eating almonds. Yum.
Contadina pesto sauce on cheese tortellini. If I buy these items, I will cook and eat them within 24 hours. No one else in my house likes it, so I have the whole pot all to myself (well, the dog likes it). I don’t make it very often, because I will cook a whole package of the pasta, drain it, put it back in the pot, stir in the pesto, add a little fresh parmasean, and eat it right out of the pot. It’s not pretty, but it’s wonderful. And it’s perfect with a nice glass of chard.
I’ll agree with the bacon. I’d eat an entire pound at one sitting if left to my own devices. Luckily its kind of a pain to make (takes too long, creates too much splattery mess), so we don’t have it that often.
Now that I think about it, a couple of my friends are like that to. We still recall with legendary reverence the Shoney’s in West Virginia that had piles upon piles of real, hickory smoked, thick cut bacon (not that wafer thin, see-through, 99% fat type bacon that you find at most all-you-can-stuff-yer-pie-hole places).
Ugggh. I’m starting to drool…
Ice cream sammitches. The plain old rectangular vanilla-ice-cream-with-chocolate-cookie kind. Eating one makes me hungry for another. I’ve sometimes eaten 4 or 5 in a row.
A new favorite of mine is the extremely addictive Popable. Anyone tried these? Little candy balls – my favorite is the Milky Way kind. Damn, I likes me some Popables! I buy a bag every couple of days and hide them from the kids (my 17 year old boy can turn a giant bag of Popables into a yummy memory in seconds). I hide them on a bookshelf in my library – behind the collected works of Miss Mary Higgins Clark.
Pork flavored cup o ramen and spicy pork rinds.
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Oh, the regular size ones are good, but they’re not crack.
It’s the mini ones…the ones that are small and individually wrapped.
If i’m not careful, I can lay a whole bag of them to waste in an hour or less…you just can’t stop after one.
Back when I was married, if my wife had bought a bag I would know the moment I got home, and know where it was…same if I go to my parents house and they have a bag somewhere. It’s like I have a radar for the little bastards.
Hot biscuits slathered with my Dad’s peanut butter sauce, which is a combination of three parts peanut butter, one part sweetened whole butter and one part pancake syrup (Log Cabin prefered).
Hawkin’s Cheezies!
Good stuff, those.