Well, just for the weekend. She took the kids upstate to visit her family. They do this every spring break.
So-o-o-o, I’m all by my lonesome until Sunday. Gotta work Saturday, so I won’t spend the entire day watching Cartoon Network.
Went to Blockbuster and rented some videos that are too scary or violent to have around when I’m not alone.
Do you get the sense I’m all alone?
You’re welcome to come and spend some time in my sig if you’re bored, Dave. 
When she comes back, fall to your knees, plead forgiveness, and swear eternal love, undieing devotion, and slavish attention to her every need.
It’s probably best to do this in the driveway, before she gets inside the house and notices the mold growing in the sink.
Jesus, how do you arrange that stuff? Give me the secret. Instead of leaving with the kids, MY wife had her family come HERE.
I’m on my way up. I’ll provide the cases of cheap local beer if you provide the Cheetos. And I should warn you that my powerful aura of indolence will totally fuck up your plans to work on Saturday.
Aw, Dave honey. That’s too bad.
Well, don’t forget…I am always available to teach you to play pinochle. And…I still have that portable hot tub and waterproof cards! 
Scotti
Lessee, that’s Ike arriving with cheap beer and congenital indolence, LoadedDog with dangerous explosive substances, and Scotti on tap with a portable hot tub and lascivious-sounding card games.
PAR-TAY!
I’d be doing the same thing, catching up on the movies that no-one else has wanted to watch…
Okay, Dave.
First, some of the basics. When you play pinochle, you need special equipment. No 2’s, 3’s or anything less than a 9 are allowed. You get to play 9’s, 10’s, a Jack, a Queen and a King. And…an ace is a beautiful thing to behold.
Got that?
Scotti
Dude, this is a rare moment you simply cannot pass up. Move your good furniture and china into one room, because you are having a house party. That’s right, I’ll bring my friends and a couple ‘o’ kegs. Open house.
Tripler
Yer in Westchester? Great, I used to live in Bergen. I’ll get directions. . .
I thought only worms played pinochle.
Yeah yeah yeah. I understand all that. When do we take off our clothes?
Who said anything about taking off our clothes?
Hmmm. Maybe I don’t really want to learn how to play pinochle after all.
Still, the hot tub is a good idea. 
Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be working?
Sheesh…what is the world coming to if the only way I can get someone to play pinochle with me is if I do it naked?
Scotti - FWIW if I see you naked, I will NOT be thinking of pinochle…
Ike said:
Not all day. I finished at about 12:30. Sheesh, what kind of slave driver do you think I work for?
Scotti said:
Well, you got a better chance of winning if you were naked and tried to teach me to play pinochle. Also, what lurkernomore said.
Hubba hubba.