The masochist says, "Whip me! Beat me!
The sadist says, “No.”
Last I had heard, she was still single. Do you like 50-ish Latinas who look ike a shorter version of Cher?
I was going to say this. You can learn to top someone, but most Dom sorts just sort of are.
I second people suggesting gatherings for newbies or even BDSM for Dummies. Even the old Joy of Sex touches on the subject.
Fetlife also has some solid groups for newbies, lots of good advice and lots of people to talk to.
You don’t need to be a Dom to have kinky sex, nor do you have to be into giving pain to be a top or a Dom. There are many flavors of kink out there, so research and communication with your wife are really important. Find out what aspects of being dominated she’s turned on by. If it involves any impact to the body, take it down by at least half. (in other words, if she wants to be smacked with a crop or belt, try your hand first).
Talk about it. Find out what pushes her buttons. Talk some more.
Don’t forget if you do everything in your power to get her off, she will do everything in her power to get you off.
The technical term for this is Fantastic mind blowing sex.
Dan Savage and Mistress Matisse both write columns in The Stranger, and have podcasts with tons of good advice for sexually adventurous people, and there are lots of websites that will be happy to help.
You don’t say exactly what your wife wants to do, but I think you guys should ease into it slowly and make sure to communicate a lot. Talk about it before you get involved in a scene. Have her tell you what she wants, and doesn’t want, and vice versa. Like, maybe she wants to be tied up, but doesn’t want to be called names, and maybe you are okay with a little light spanking but aren’t interested in wearing fetish gear.
Dan Savage often describes kink as ‘playing cowboys and indians with your pants off’. It’s all in good fun.
Nein! It is all in the name of science! When I mount the stage in my double-breasted Victorian laboratory smock, and have Shegor disrobe and polish my boots with her clothes, when I bend her over a Van Degraff generator and stimulate her Graffenberg spot, Or those simple times I handenbung her until she reaches a hysterical paroxysm, my thought is simply to enlighten the ignorant and spread knowledge. Now, if you’ll excuse me, we’re going to plug in the Violet Wand and give a webinar.
OP, do it. Do it now, or wifey will look elsewhere. She’s letting you know what she wants, don’t ignore her.
If you want to really get her excited, tie her up really well, then go get her purse and go through it in front of her.
Are you a Belgian judge perchance?
Pretty sure there are some wives who, when their husband turns out not to be into their latest whim, don’t immediately think “That’s it, Imma fuck someone else”. :dubious:
I agree with every part of this. There is so much more to a Dom than dragging out the whips and handcuffs, although that’s fine I guess if that’s what you both want.
A genuine Dom is already dominant. He has an air of authority, control, inner strength. It’s apparent in every aspect of their being. He can make you weak at the knees with a word or a look. After a slow, almost agonizing psychological build-up, then it’s time for the ropes and floggers, THEN the most mind-blowing sex ever.
Whew, gettin hot in here:o
My wife’s comment on 50 Shades of Gray: Someone who would handcuff me and hit me with a whip better never unlock those handcuffs. She said this while she was cleaning her Glock 19
You could tie her up and then go bowling.
Update needed.
Could the OP please tell us how it went. Start at the beginning please.
Sigh, send her over. BYOH (Bring Your Own Handcuffs). The line forms to the left.
I recently met someone that was into some of this stuff. So I did quite a bit of reading on it.
Bondage can be a part of dom/sub, but it can be done/enjoyed w/o it too. Same for pain (sadism).
Op really needs to talk to the wife - it’s her desires (and limitations) that matter here. And only hers.
She gave some reading and videos, so the first step would be to follow them.
It’s a damm shame we don’t have pics with this thread…
He’s tied up at the moment.
I did know a lady once who fantasized about being handcuffed. So I hid a kilo of cocaine in her luggage.
A Glock 19?! I want one! Just shot a rented one at the range the other day. Great pistol. Tell your wife there’s a book called:
Glock: The Rise of America’s Gun - by Paul M. Barrett.
Oops, sorry…didn’t mean to derail the thread. Carry on with your bondage discussion…
First off, I think its telling when this thread has more views than most other recent threads… sickos! LOL
My advice… don’t bore your wife. If she wants something be glad she is asking you instead of the neighbor.
But, if you insist that this is a “problem” then have her read ‘Gerald’s Game’. Problem solved!