Exactly 5 years ago today, July 6th 2001, my wife was killed in a car accident.
She was driving back from visiting her sister when a tyre blew causing her to swerve into the path of a truck, she was killed outright.
At the inquest a verdict of accidental death was returned and after the hearing the truck driver came to me with tears streaming down his face, the poor man was devasted and kept apologising.
I assured him that it was not his fault and that did not blame him in any way for my loss but even so I could tell that he felt in some way to blame.
My wife was my best friend and I miss her still.She wasn’t beautiful in the way of some of todays catwalk models and the like but to me she was the most gorgeous woman on earth.
Her smile and laughter and the funny way she had of scrunching her nose up when she disliked something were totally unique…when she smiled the world lit up and when she laughed all problems faded into insignificance.
Our son was 11 at the time, he is now almost 16 and I now have a problem in that he thinks that for me to even entertain the thought of seeing another woman would be a betrayal and to some extent I can see why he feels this way.
He says that to see another woman would be like admitting that I no longer care but he is wrong, I miss my wife more than anything and I’ll miss her always.
But I am a normal human being with normal needs and I’m sure that Mrs. Chowder would not want me to live my life alone, I am in my mid 30s and have a good few years ahead of me.
I have tried talking with my son but I cannot seem to make him understand, I hear him crying at night after some of our talks.
He is a good boy, he is doing well at school, he doesn’t smoke or take any drugs, he is a popular lad with many friends.
My brother has spoken with him but he can’t make him see that although I still love my wife I have to move on.
I had to share this and apologise for laying it on you.