A couple of days ago, I treated myself to something I’ve wanted for a long time: a breadmaking machine. I love fresh homemade bread, and hardly ever have the time to make it.
Today, I am ticked off, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed, and glum.
My new breadmaking machine doesn’t.
Make bread.
I followed all the directions faithfully. Ran it once on the prescribed cycle to burn off any manufacturing oil residues. Watched through the little window on top as the kneader paddle clicked around. Smelled the residues burning off. Duly took care of it at the end of the cycle.
That was yesterday. Today I decided to try out my first recipe – cinnamon raisin bread. I followed all the instructions. Carefully measured the ingredients and layered them in the baking pan as directed. Clicked on the correct cycle choices for the recipe. Hit “Start” and heard it clicking away.
But when I looked in through the little window… nothing seemed to be happening. Oh, well, I thought, perhaps at first the mixing isn’t visible, since the paddle’s going through the liquid ingredients. I went away for a while, came back, and looked again.
The dispenser thingie had duly dispensed the raisins… onto an otherwise untouched layer of dry ingredients. No mixing, no kneading, no nothing.
I troubleshot. I checked every possible cause. Nada. I tried hitting Stop/Reset, reprogramming it, and starting it again. Nil. I removed the baking pan, dumped the ingredients into a bowl, put the empty pan back, and tried again. Nichts. I took out the baking pan, hit Start, listened to it click obediently, and watched the little arms that are supposed to turn the little arms underneath the kneading paddle. Zilch. Ain’t moving.
CRAP. I give up. I’ll have to take it back to the store for a replacement. Meanwhile, there’s that pathetic bowlful of ingredients, half-mixed from my fumbling to check the kneader paddle and dumping into the bowl. No way am I gonna waste that! So I plunged in my hands and began mixing and kneading, muttering curses all the while. The dough took shape, dryer than yeast bread dough usually is, alas. Never did get to that wonderful elastic, sticky feeling, but what the hell. I had to keep scooping up raisins and chopped walnut bits that fell out of the dough and shoving them back in.
The dough took two hours to rise somewhere in the general vicinity of double. Punched it down – not very far, stuff was SOLID – formed it into a loaf, and let it rise another hour in the pan. Actually did expand somewhat. Baked at my guesstimate of time and temperature – a half hour at 400F.
And the results? Ehhhhhhhhhh… Actually, not as bad as I’d feared. A VERY heavy loaf, but the texture is okay (though quite dense), and the flavor, while not outstanding, is all right. I’ll be interested to see how it toasts.
I’m still royally pissed off, though.