Thank you, everyone, for your kindness.
After teaching this morning I headed home to get ready for the funeral. The service was held at our Synagogue, which happens to be walking distance from the college of which my friend was the Assoc. Provost. The large sanctuary was filled to capacity, requiring people to sit on the third floor balcony. Her colleagues from the University, friends from the community, family members and congregation members filled the space. Her twin sister spoke (identical twin, which was a bit disconcerting, I might add), her brother and then her husband.
Her husband’s speech was beautiful and terrible. It was uplifting and devastating. It destroyed all of us who listened to it while making us feel closer together.
After, some of us went to the cemetery. I have made it to my 41 years with this being my second funeral ever, and my first time going to the cemetery. (Since my parents were Holocaust survivors, my grandparents generation was gone before I was born. I never went through the normal passages of losing grandparents and great-aunts and such. By the time my aunts and other relatives began dying I lived far enough away that I never could make it back for the funeral. Jewish tradition has the deceased in the ground as soon as possible).
It was a glorious fall day- cool and bright. The service was brief, most of the time taken by each person laying a shovelful of earth over the casket. Finally, we lined up in two rows between which the family walked, surrounded by the affection and protection of their community.
The day was emotionally and physically draining. We rested at home, picked up the kids from school and headed to their home for the shiva service. Visited with the family and consoled each other. We got home around 7:45. The kids quickly finished up homework, I prepped for class tomorrow. I held my daughter as she cried in my arms. I am exhausted, headachy and drained.
But, I’m feeling better. I cried, I hugged friends, I cuddled their little boy, my daughter’s good friend. The worst (for me) has climaxed and now I just have to figure out how to help her family and move forward without my dear friend.
